here for you, no need to say sorry, with you everystep of the way.
Kat x
Doubt yourself and you doubt everything you see. Judge yourself and you see judges everywhere. But if you listen to the sound of your own voice, you can rise above doubt and judgment. And you can see forever.
SOrry I hadnt replied sooner, but i have been in a bad place
i am drained.
evertime I tried to make alone time... it didnt work.
I went to my counselor today. She is talking with my psych today. I almost went to the edge.
NO alone time.
Thank you for keeping me in your thoughts.
I am sorry it turned out to be like this.
Rain
Being alone is not good. However you do need a break. you need a break from him and the kids. Im not sure how you get it but it should be up there on the prio list.
Rainy you havent given time to calm down and start to heal. One headlong rush into another and so on. No wonder you cant gather your thoughts aside from those that choose to intrude unwelcomed.
Be a brave girl for me. Be open and ask for help. It will pay huge dividends in the future. what feels like a loss now could reap reward in years to come!
Trust me......im a erm was gonna say doctor but ill just say FREIND!
keeping my fingers crossed that it went ok today.
k x
Doubt yourself and you doubt everything you see. Judge yourself and you see judges everywhere. But if you listen to the sound of your own voice, you can rise above doubt and judgment. And you can see forever.
we are going to work taking my meds right.
I am supposed to not work so much (he thought 80 hours was a bit excessive)
I am going to take some me time.
I havent cut, burned, OD'd or hit yet. I am almost at 2 mos.
Thinking I need to take the reigns on my life. Forget the past (HA)
We will be putting up the tree tonight. Just me and the kids as HE will be working tonight.
I see my counselor on Fri and My psych wants to see me on Monday again.
THank you for the support and caring Romp, Matthew, Kat, Tok.
Really appreciate you.
Rain
Last edited by Rain Keeper : 11-12-2009 at 06:17 PM.
hurrah for "you" time..
as said ^^ enjoy the tree decorating!
k x
Doubt yourself and you doubt everything you see. Judge yourself and you see judges everywhere. But if you listen to the sound of your own voice, you can rise above doubt and judgment. And you can see forever.
I'm glad he has made you realize (?) how much you need a break.
Hope the med swap goes smoothly.
And, yes, enjoy doing the tree. You deserve something 'fun', you really do.
Will you post a pic?
Love you
xx
The tree looks so cheesy! It is good though. I put the lights on it and let the kids decorate it. I had torn a pillow and stretched out some of the stuffing to lay sporatically throught for "snow".
The kids were singing in their off key voices christmas songs...but they were singing together (write that one down in the history books!).
They dont believe in Santa (ages 12 & 14) but they were asking what Santa was bringing them.
had to laugh.
Feeling a bit better altough the urges are strong.
*trying christmas as my goal*
Yes Kim the kids would think that was fantastic (not harming that is)
*sigh*
There is no normal in my life...at least I have excitement of the ride!
Normal is overrated!
Glad you had some fun, keep it up.
Sounds like you enjoyed spending time like this with the kids, what about doing more of it? Perhaps some christmas baking for relatives? or making cards together?
Proud of you rain!
Well I would love to post the pic but I cant find my do-hicky that holds the card to put it on the computer.
On another note...
What a difference a week makes on meds. (discussed uping them)
I am smiling more again. Not crying for the past two days. The only major change is my dreams/nightmares are soooo vivid. But it doesnt involve me in the ways it used to. I am ok with that.
I see my psych in 3 hours. I am nervous because of what happened last week.
Other news...
In two weeks, I will lighten my load at work. I will spend time with family. I will have a whole day off from both jobs on Christmas. Wow that hasnt happened in three years! I always went in and worked freight and got the returns tables and registers set up for those unwanted or wrong sized gifts.
I am going to have to be strong for me this week. Keep taking my meds the right times. and I need to eat right. I stocked up on some fresh foods and am looking forward to losing this extra weight that I am sure has brought some of my energy down.
Thanks again for being there when I needed you the mostest.
Rain
I smile everytime I read one of your posts.
To hear your determination to get better.
To see you take huge steps in looking after yourself.
Just WOW Rain, I hope you realize how far you have come and how well you have done.
Im proud of you, hope your proud of yourself.
Candy Tetris
Mahjong
Othello
Mumu
