sorry for not reading through the thread: it's long to be fair. But I was wondering...
does anyone else experience an intrusion of thought/image/voice in their mind... and if they do, is anyone able to tell people about it, what it says/shows/implements in the mind?
just wondering, because i'm dying to tell people what's going on in here, what it's like, but there's a blockage and it's like asking a disabled person to walk... I was just wondering, and if you are how did you overcome this?
and either way, do other people get that voice/image/thought thing?
I feel like there's actually a little person kicking around inside my head... does it feel like that for other people? Sometimes she's in my belly, depends.. i sound mad, and i'm cautious because when i read over my experiences that i write down i even question myself as to if it's real, but it's very very very very real.... x
I sometimes get intrusive thoughts and my flashbacks can be pretty vivid. I know when an alter is beneath but physically I tend to numb rather than to become aware.
Sophie-Mercy: Integrated/ getting used to each other. Host
Tracy: I don't really know her, but she's 6 and 3/4s.
Ava, counts to ten or three depending on how badly she is doing. Young
Erin: In charge, Erin doesn't feel anything, she just is. Always.
yeah i get the numb thing. No flashbacks, who know's what's caused it.... no idea.?! Sometimes I'm not aware, but sometimes I am when it becomes a lull of intrusion, when it's fierce then... oh i dont know. I dont even know what goe son half the time. :( x
Sorry, I don't think I understand the above post, you don't know anything about the trauma that has caused you to develop DID?
Sophie-Mercy: Integrated/ getting used to each other. Host
Tracy: I don't really know her, but she's 6 and 3/4s.
Ava, counts to ten or three depending on how badly she is doing. Young
Erin: In charge, Erin doesn't feel anything, she just is. Always.
no. they suspect a couple things. But I have a huge memory lapse, and they don't think it was one event so i dont get flashbacks, I just have a memory gap at the moment as it stands. XD
i meant awareness about voices/images/thoughts intrusing my mind, thoughts and stuff that aren't my own. sorry for not being clear, i struggle to communicate what i mean because i barely understand, if that makes sense. Oh I hope so. x
Hello. =) We have not been around in quite sometime. We use our Kindle for most everything now and have not added this site to the web favorites yet.
It has been a very long time since most of us inside have been out but the barrier or coma-like sleep for us has somehow been broken.. Which most of us are relieved about.
We hope everyone is doing well.
Daylia
Dolly.. We know some of our trauma. However, even those are filled with some holes though. as for the 2 traumas that we believe started the splits to begin with.. we do not remember. the first is when we were born 3 months early and almost died multiple times , had heart surgery at a mth old and had blood transfusions. we do not remember that at all. the other we remember small ..very small amounts..When we were 8.. one of us was raped or molested or something by older neighbor boys which went on for at least two months at a time.. but as far as what they really did to us.. we do not know.it is only a big black void in our memory. We do believe that the one it happened to and the Voice know what really happened, however Voice tells us that we will never be allowed to see/remember it.
Daylia
but as far as what they really did to us.. we do not know.it is only a big black void in our memory. We do believe that the one it happened to and the Voice know what really happened, however Voice tells us that we will never be allowed to see/remember it.
Daylia
Thanks hun. Yeah I can remember certain aspects of my childhood, my grandparents, my schools, my child minders but my parents.... no. I remember a couple things, but mainly about being told off. There is a HUGE memory gap where I just barely remember one or 2 memories for years at a time, and sometimes when I re-tell stories from childhood I think I make them up of what I think happenned, but I don't really know. I remember a memory of 4-5 being told off before my birthday...then once or twice in between then and about 10. And I know I lived at home with them, I just can not for the life of me remember, and i barely remember my dad at all, my only clear memory is of about 12-13 onwards, i know they weren't around much, even though they looked after me, but surely I'd remember them even slightly. ..... anyway... i don't think i was abused, maybe more just emotional neglect, and my Dr's think so too and have stopped defending their actions as of late.
i'm struggling at the minute. It's difficult to explain, but someone inside me is nagging me, and getting mroe ferocious with their nagging. :(
I want her to shut up, stop. but she won't. so there we go, i'm sat here in a battle of two people. If i sit still enough, I won't do anything, thats my theory. whether it works or not i dont know .
I haven't been doing well since last Monday. Sorry if I'm not talkative lately... I'm trying really hard to get better, because I don't want to have to go back to hospital.
You survived the abuse.
You're gonna survive the recovery.
Oh, and by the way...
March 5th was Multiple Personality Disorder Day!
I don't know if it's a joke, or an awareness thing.... but Happy late MPD Day everyone. :)
Honestly there isn't much to talk about. Our sh has gotten much worse. This week..punching walls..banging elbow against wall..and then this cutting. Need stitches.. it scares me. But i know if i go for stitches theyllll make us go to psych ward & cant.. no $ &our/my paycheck. Is all we have. So if i/ we went.. i wouldn't. Be able to concentrate. On getting better cause my anxiety. Would eat me alive worrying over bills. :( fml
Husband thinks our really dangerous. & abusive one is not as heavily confined as we hoped.. that thought terrifies. Me. Cause he hates us & wants to kill us.
L
Hi Hiding, sorry you're having such a **** time too. I'm really struggling eith my mind, feel like I'm being pulled in 5 different directions by different wills inside me, and the girl inside me keeps winning over me, and its scaring me too but I don't want to go into hospital either- not b/c of moneys but b/c I generally HATE it in there!!! Xx
