Yeah. It's just frustrating because by the time paramedics were there I was responding and managed to talk a bit. I was still out of it and confused and weak and I understand their concern I'm just sick of this happening.
It is annoying. I usually just discharge myself as soon as I get to hospital because I've usually come round by then!
Do you get warning signs immediately before or quite a while before it happens?
Does there seem to be a pattern, like if it's particular hot or cold or crowded places etc?
Identifying even the smallest trigger can really help.
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
Thanks for understanding. It seems to happen more when I'm out but I'm not sure if that's just because I notice it when I'm out and not when I'm at home. All I know is that when I feel it coming I start panicking because I don't want it to happen and I don't want to end up in hospital but I reckon that makes it more likely to happen. I think it's probably more likely when I'm tired/stressed/haven't eaten. Not sure how soon I get warning signs beforehand. I find it hard to remember much about what's happened afterwards.
I find my seizures happen more when i'm out. I think it's because I get over stimulated. Maybe it's the same with you?
Have you tried deep breathing, or when you're out find somewhere to sit, even on the floor and focus on just one thing, try to block everything else out. Sitting down would help anyway because there's less chance of injury if you do pass out.
It might be helpful to practice relaxation techniques at home so you are prepared when you go out.
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
I'm struggling. Want to overdose. I'm not meant to be overdosing now that I'm here but I have a very small amount of something to take and the temptation is too much. I'm not sure I can stop myself. It's all messy in my head. Everything is messy.
From my experience of supported housing, overdosing does not go down well.
I know it's been stressful for you, but the whole point of you being there and the point of having staff there is to talk through these things so these things don't happen.
Supported housing is not like hospital and it's not meant to be . It is living in the community but with extra support, they aren't set up to deal with overdoses etc.
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
Back at Brigid. Had a very straight talking to from a member of staff which actually helped a lot. I think this place could stop me from oding. I reckon my cc is too soft on me sometimes. Not sure what to do with myself now.
Unpacking is all done, manicay did it when I was fucked off my face yesterday. Think i might make a list of all that needs doing, including looking for voluntary work and generally building a life for myself. I have no idea how to do that though. I feel like I'm starting everything from scratch. Social life, work life, everything. I also run the risk of going manic with it and getting myself too busy and excited/making plans I can't keep and generally overwhelming myself so much that I crash. Hmmm. Any advice anyone?
Got strong urges to ingest something bad. I'm not used to fighting urges I normally just do it. I'm scared if I did it I would lose my place here. That's the only thing that's stopping me. I knew someone in inpatient who did what I want to do and she was ok. It would just be a bit of self harm but I suppose I could die from it. Not sure. Heads all over the place.
It's positive that you don't want to lose your place there, could you go and talk to the staff. You can work through the urges with them.
From a practical point of view, ingesting things is not a good idea. Aside from the risk of dying, you also risk things like a perforated bowel, possibly resulting in having a colostomy bag or it not doing anything and have to endure the pain of it passing through.
(Assuming it's a blade you're thinking of swallowing)
Not trying to scare you, just wanted you to know the risks. I've seen it happen and it's awful.
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
