I just wanted to apologise for my posts the other day in case they offended anyone. I wasn't trying to say I thought I had DID, I was more looking for reassurance that it wasn't as I wanted to tell my psychologist about some of the things I was experiencing but didn't want a diagnosis because I didn't want anything to be wrong. I'm really sorry if I offended.
Sometimes the way in life seems cloudy...But remember, after the storm comes clear skies
The post bugged me too, a more recent one too (posted today in that thread)
Kat, I'm thinking of you but don't have many words. Just know that i care.
Chris, hope you are Ok.
My T hasn't responded. I'm no longer surprised that when i check my phone there is no response. I feel like quitting on her. Perhaps i will.
I need to try some meditation stuff to see if i can look inside and find out what is going on. I know i have been losing time, so there are others about, but they don't communicate with me, and i am unsure who they are or if i am aware of them.
A part calling themselves 'matti' came out last night whilst my girl and i were drinking, he wrote 'paul bad, im litel, they make me hurt' and 'spinnner'
Euphoria - your posts have not offended me (and I doubt they've offended anyone else, but I've learned to speak for myself). That thread has obviously knocked some confidence out of people, and it's a damn shame.
Dissociative Disorders (particularly DID like they focused on) are hardly believed by people. So to see people being judgmental about it strikes a chord, especially when individuals who have it have been disbelieved for so long.
I somtimes wonder why I couldn't get a more "common" diagnosis, and I know that's stupid. But what good is knowing what's wrong with you if no one believes you? That's often my line of thinking.
But the bottom line is it doesn't really matter what anyone else thinks (though it's annoying as **** when it gets on your nerves) especially not people on an online forum who don't personally know you.
Things seem to be looking up, alice has been a huge help with comminucating with the others. I have the strongest communication with her.
things are better now ...
Still almost always dissociated.
I don't know where to start with supporting everybody else. just. *gives hugs to everybody who wants them in this thread*
I dreamed I was missing, you were so scared.
But no-one would listen, cos no-one else cared
I'm strong on the surface, not all the way through
I've never been perfect but neither have you
it sounds hard kat. Some people can't wrap their heads round alters. they assume it's an act, or a lie, or something. In my opinion people like that shouldn't become psychiatrists. I hope you get a new psych soon.
I dreamed I was missing, you were so scared.
But no-one would listen, cos no-one else cared
I'm strong on the surface, not all the way through
I've never been perfect but neither have you
shaking with what i've written in the notorious thread but meant every word
Kat... even the so called experts can get it wrong, even with the best diagnostic tools - like mine did, who said they'd worked with dissociation and did the full SCID-D with me and said smiling 'we thought you'd be pleased to know you're not DID'.. i didn't know whether to laugh or cry. everyone apart from me fled like for so many years in the past. really f***ing hurt that they said it with such authority and they now f***all when it comes to real world stuff. f***ing book reading ar**h**es
know reality. know the truth. even if it feels incredulous. there's more of us (ha!! 'us') out there than you might think
and as for that 'badger of honour' stuff that was discussed. i have a beaver of honour!
very emotional just the now. defiant as ever. wishing you all gentle times ahead
Came home from class, apparently got in a fight with mom. Came to when I was staring in the pantry with mom trying to shake me, and I was crying and so was she, and my throat hurt from screaming.
It tries to protect me, but isolates me from the world and other people, and doesn't want me to have a 'life' because, in it's mind, life and other people means getting hurt..
My purpose Exactly. To protect from hurt. Because when Chelsey gets hurt, it's bad for us both. I like that quote.
