The Safe Room

[Ingenue]

A month is amasing faye!
You should be so proud of yourself. You do NOT deserve nor need to be punished for lying.
It's very scary to tell the truth, we all know it. But as trace said, the truth needs to be told.
I know some people are mean, but like you said some people are different. This new person you have could be truly lovely.
I know how hard it is for you to open up, but someday you will have too. I know you don't want to be pretending & faking forever.
I know your really really scared, but when you go i will be there with you. I will be stood next to you holding your hand.
& we both will be covered in glitter, glitter making us sparkle.
The sparkle is a layer of protection only you & i can see.
=)

[*Fading_existence*]

I cant do it, im so stupidly triggered, i need to hurt i need the pain.
I was bad i lied and lied and im stupid and selfish.
I dont want to cover up forever your right but not now.
There are other better ways in which ill be permanently silenced.
I have never told anyone the whole truth ive told nearly everything but not all.
Its too painful and makes me hurt more.
*clings to inside of box* i cant go i cant
Im too frightened.
Im scared if this person is mean -i dont know what ill do as ill be alone that night.

[Ingenue]

*Wraps you up in blankets*

Faye sweetie, try to distract yourself. Listen to music/watch a film/go on the fun & distractions page/ call a friends/ talk to me?
Sing to me?

Please don't talk like that hun, you don't need nor deserve to be permanently silenced.
Some things are extremely hard to talk about. We understand that lovely. Just take your time okay? Don't rush yourself.
The main thing is that you are safe.
Is there anyway you can have anyone to come & stay with you that night? Or can you stay anywhere else? Just in case?

He/she could be really lovely though faye. Try not to imagine the worst.
*Holds your hand*

[*Fading_existence*]

Ill stay on here but all i think about is what i could do and stuff. I dont want to go into detail cause i know how amazingly well your doing

Im not sure, im staying in my friends flat as i have to travel and she said i could stay there as im meeting up with a friend the next day. I just dont want to go-that would solve everything.

They could but i doubt they will be, they'll judge and make comments just like the last one.

[Ingenue]

Sweetie. I messed up. Sorry. So feel free to talk about anything. =).
I'm deflated but not giving in. This thing needs a slap in the face.
I just wish i could fight it off long enough to give it one!

Would not going really solve everything though? Would you not wonder what could have happened if you had gone?

I'm sorry you found the last person you had to be so horrible. But like you said, your doctor has been so good too you, so how come the next person couldn't possibly be like him?
I know bad experiences just add to the fear factor, but it could really help you.
<3

[troubleshooter]

Sorry I left before but like Jane said Faye you just need to give this new person a chance. I know it hurts to talk about things but it's like removing a splinter. It hurts and aches when it's in and it'll hurt worse just taking it out, but after it's out it can heal and it'll feel much better. *snuggle*

[*Fading_existence*]

*hugs* sorry to hear that sweetie, one day you will give it a good slap i know you will. I may not be much use but im always here to listen if you ever want to talk.

Yeah i guess but i just dont know if i can go, ill probably end up bolting or bottling stuff its my usual thing to do because im too scared and pathetic to talk.

I dont know, i only trust my doc hes safe very safe and i couldnt even tell him the truth. Its pointless me going, i just think i should be disposed of im not worth the energy or oxygen. There are so many lovely people on here especially and i dont deserve the help and support of them all.

I dont think it can heal though *sobs*

[troubleshooter]

*hugs you both* I gtg now sweethearts, you be safe!

[Ingenue]

Faye you ARE worth so much energy & all of the oxygen in the air!
You deserve every inch of support you need & more.

You have helped me & plenty of others time after time after time. Please don't be so hard on yourself!
You are amasing & so brave. I know it's terrifying, is there anyway you could possibly write a list/a letter of what you would like to mention & take it with you so you don't leave anything out/forget anything. It could also help you to feel safer as you know if you lose your words you can hand the letter?

You can do it beautiful. I know you can.
<3

[Ingenue]

*waves to Trace*
& You lovely
<3

[*Fading_existence*]

*waves to Tracie* take care

Im not Jane, i should never ever have been born. I had a letter last time and the guy refused to read it he said he wanted me to speak even though i was shaking and frightened. Not going nope nope nope its all scaring me and making me frightened.

I cant do it, it'll be ok ill end up silenced one day hopefully sooner rather than later then no one will ever know. Yes thats fine thats good thats safe safe safe.

[Ingenue]

Faye. Nobody want's you to be silenced, never.
You should be able to say what you want too, when YOU feel ready too.
You should have been born faye. Without you what would i do!
& all of us on here.
We would all be miserable like this > =(
All of the time.
As i'm sure your family & friends would be.

I'm sorry the man was cruel. But like we said, this new person could accept a letter & if it helps you then is it not worth taking it?

*Hands more blankets & cuddles*
You are safe here sweetie. No one/ nothing can get you here*

[*Fading_existence*]

They do *nods* they just wont say it directly. Its obvious i can see it.
Oh hun you would be so much happier as everyone would be, you wouldnt have to deal with a pathetic scared whiney bitch who cant open up.

Hmm maybe i wouldnt knwo where to start writing it and if it was ok and i just dont know i dont want to go like really really dont want to.

You promise? *peeks out of box*

[Ingenue]

They dont! *shakes heads*

Not obvious, no.no.no.
And i tell the truth! *nods*
I wouldn't have a funny, intelligent, helpful, kind friend to talk too. Or anyone to pour glitter over! =)

Well if you feel brave enough to write it, will you try for me? i only ask that if you feel you can go, please try?

I promise. Nothing can hurt you.
Cept maybe glitter.
But thats not my fault.
'No no noo.
Tee hee =)

[risenfromperdition]

*snuggles you two*

[Ingenue]

Heather! <3
*pouncessss*

How was class?
[If my time difference is way off. I apologise in advance.]

[*Fading_existence*]

*climbs out of box and hides under sofa in far corner*

It is obvious but i dont want to make you sad or angry. Why cant everyone just agree on one thing and be nice. I dont like them being so mean cause then i believe them and feel bad on here.

Ill try and write the letter, hmm ill try. What if i managed but sat in silence cause i cant talk? i dont think i can.

*sends you a jar of glitter*

*waves to heather* you ok?

[risenfromperdition]

haha class was boringggg :(
hows you <3
im watching college jeopardy :P

[Ingenue]

Awww your american shows =)
Makes me happyy.
Though we nick most of your shows, we don't nick jeopardy i'm afraid.
Are you happy to be back at unii?

Thankyou for the jar of glitter. I think i'm rather glitter mad at the moment.
I understand what you mean faye. Like two people telling you the opposite things?
Well all those nasty things people are saying aren't true. I know it's hard to believe or hear.
But i promise there not.
You are amasing.
*nods*

& if you cant speak sweetie, then you can't force yourself. But if you turn up & find yourself in that situation you could hand in the letter?
& on the letter you could write you find it superbly hard to open up & talk to people?
<3

[*Fading_existence*]

Glitter is pretty and sparkly *nods*
But the bad people are my family they not meant to lie to me. So they must be telling truth. *sobs* Ill try to write the letter and see where it gets to but dont know if it'll work as i cant even get the words out :( im so sorry.