I am sorry Ag, but I truly believe that your failed suicide attempts is God's way of saying that he has big plans for you! My favorite verse, my life verse is Jeremiah 29:11 " 'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future.' " God doesn't want us to hurt, He has future plans for us that don't include pain. He wants us to be happy. Jesus came so that we may live life and live it to the fullest!
What is the root of your self hatred and suicide attempt and self harm?
I honestly have no idea. I've always assumed it was genetic, as my mama, aunt, and Papaw all have clinical depression, and I inherited panic disorder and social anxiety disorder from my dad's side of the family. I didn't have a crazy childhood or anything. I did get bullied some in school, but that's not unusual at all. I just generally feel like a gigantic waste of oxygen, because I'm not good at anything and I feel like I cause everyone around me an enormous amount of unnecessary stress and discomfort.
I haven't been in this thread in forever! I've been struggling with keeping to reading the bible and listening to what God has to say.
Hi, Ag. Welcome. :)
I love the verse that Lynn mentioned. I feel God has a lot of things in store for you, and he wouldn't just give up on you, or put you on the earth if he thought you'd be a waste of oxygen. I don't know why God allows for us to have sickness and disease or even mental health disorders, but they're there, and when we recover it only makes us stronger.
Hi there - I haven't been on this thread before and I'm pretty new on the site, but I thought I'd pluck up the courage to drop by...!
I've been a Christian since I was very little - hard to say when exactly, because I used to think once I'd let Jesus into my heart I must never sin again. So whenever I did something bad I had to start over. But anyway, I've been raised in a Christian family, developed depression at some stage and started SI when I was 13. I got help when I was 16 and was on the road to recovery. I'm now almost 18 and ready to head off to university in a different country, and I think all this has thrown me a bit, and I seem to be slipping back into my old mindset. I feel a bit distant from God at the moment :(
Anyway, enough about my woes - I'm a protestant - I've never understood denominations much, but I'm pretty open-minded (I hope).
Anyway, just... hi!
"And sometimes when our fights begin,
I think I'll let the Dragons win...
And then I think perhaps I won't,
Because they're Dragons, and I don't."
I feel like a crap Christian, like by disrespecting myself and hurting myself, I'm disrespecting God because he made me this way and I should be happy with that. My body is a temple etc. Anyone else feel this way?
~ Instruction does much, but encouragement does everything ~
Nelly - I've felt like that a lot so I understand, if you want to talk, my inbox is always open so just pm away
I just wanted to pop in and fill you in with what God's been doing since I last posted... Every year at my Bible College we have host a festival. We've just had this years festival and it was amazing, stressful but amazing. I, as I normally do, was stubborn and tried to fight God working in me. But I felt his presence for the first time in a long time. I spoke to a close friend and another volunteer about my past and MH and God and stuff and it was a bit of a breakthrough I think. A small one, but one all the same. I know it is going to be a long, hard, horrible, road to recovery. I just wanted to encourage you and say that nothing can keep us from God's love. No stubbornness of ours will stop God moving and he is incredible so trust in him.
“so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” Ephesians 3:17-19 NIV
I feel like a crap Christian, like by disrespecting myself and hurting myself, I'm disrespecting God because he made me this way and I should be happy with that. My body is a temple etc. Anyone else feel this way?
I used to feel like that when i was SH. I know you may feel convicted for what your doing to your body, but please dont be ridden in guilt. Rememeber that God loves you,...he just hates sin. Tell him how your feeling and if your struggling to stop SH (HUGS)
Hello, Iv not been on this thread for a while. Although I am not struggling with SH, I am struggling with low-mood and anxiety and as a Christian I would appreciate other Christians perspectives on how I am feeling.
I struggle with social anxiety and usually attend a church with 500 members. As i struggle with crowds and loud nosies this makes attending church difficult. I used to attend the evening services as they are quieter but struggling just to leave the house atm. I would really like to return to church again but I struggle to make conversation with people and hate the large crowds.
Nelly - I really get that. I feel torn between "I'm a sinner and logically deserve this", and "Jesus died to save me from pain - what am I doing??". Not sure if that was what you were saying now that I think about it...?
"And sometimes when our fights begin,
I think I'll let the Dragons win...
And then I think perhaps I won't,
Because they're Dragons, and I don't."
I feel like a crap Christian, like by disrespecting myself and hurting myself, I'm disrespecting God because he made me this way and I should be happy with that. My body is a temple etc. Anyone else feel this way?
I just got into a discussion with my support team this week about whether or not cutting is a sin. We debated it because they said it was harming your body and I showed them my tattoo and asked if that was a sin...even though my tattoo is a Christian tattoo. They said that was different because I was marking my body for God and wearing my Christianity. Anyway, harming our bodies in anyway is a sin....but in God's eyes a sin is a sin is a sin. So us cutting is a sin but so is smoking as it harms the body or not eating healthy as it harms the body. But God looks at all the sins the same way. So God sees our cutting the same as someone swearing the same way as murder. To us there are measurements of sin..like my sin is not as bad as.....bluh bluh bluh, but to God it's all the same. That being said......even as Christians we are all sinners. You are not a crap christian for cutting. You are human and make mistakes.
My tattoo is on my left ankle. Ive only had it for a year but have wanted it since I was 16. It is of an icthus which is basically the Christian fish symbol with the Greek lettering inside the stands for Jesus Christ Gods SOn Savior. Back when the Christians were being persecuted after Jesus death they were afraid to openly share their faith with others. So if they met someone and wanted to know if they were a Christian then they would draw half of the fish in the dirt, if the person drew the other half then that meant that they too were a Christian and it was ok to talk about their faith without being put in jail or killed. When written in Greek "Jesus Christ God's SOn Savior" the first letter of each word spelled "fish" in Greek and that's why they used that symbol. Now it has become a widely known symbol of Chrisitianity. When I thought about a tattoo I thought about getting something that I won't outgrow and will still be "into" when I'm 80years old. Well my faith was the answer!
Lynn, I really want to get a Christian tattoo, but I'm not quite decided on what yet. I might just go for a cross, it's classic but so very powerful. How are you doing by the way?
"And sometimes when our fights begin,
I think I'll let the Dragons win...
And then I think perhaps I won't,
Because they're Dragons, and I don't."
I know it is going to be a long, hard, horrible, road to recovery. I just wanted to encourage you and say that nothing can keep us from God's love. No stubbornness of ours will stop God moving and he is incredible so trust in him.
