I can't believe it.
I can't fucking believe you!
This hurts SO much more than it did back then.
History is repeating itself.
You don't care do you?
Do you have any fucking idea what this is like?
It ruined my childhood, and ruined my life.
I tried to salvage what was left of me but you have stopped that.
You've opened the wounds and twisted the knife.
I feel like I'm dying, I think i am dying, i want to die.
So, thank you my beloved sister, for helping me to realize that life is worth nothing.
will you ever come back?
will you ever hold me like before?
will you ever love me as i love you?
will you ever forgive them?
will you ever forget about me?
i need to know
even if it hurts i still need you to tell me
will you ever forgive yourself?
i love you
and im sorry
It's killing me too
It's so wrong not to be with you
It's getting harder to stay awake It's killing me too
It stops my heart just to be with you
So listen cause you are the only one who cares to hear
ROSS
i can't believe how you make me feel, my skin crawls when your around, i hear your name and my heart stops beating just for a moment, you come towards me and i just want to run, you touch my skin and i want to be sick
your not the guy i met before, that guy i would have forgiven anything
but the guy you are now scares me
im glad your going, its just a shame its not far enough
i hate you, i hate the way you make me feel and i hate how scared i am around you
your evil, and your proud of it
i hope you never come back, and if you do please don't come and find me
no-one wants you, they never did and they will be no-one left here waiting
trust me
It's killing me too
It's so wrong not to be with you
It's getting harder to stay awake It's killing me too
It stops my heart just to be with you
So listen cause you are the only one who cares to hear
I think I'm proud of myself
I didn't steal my passport back today
I went out and I didn't try and buy alcohol without ID
And it's scary
But for now, I think it'll be ok for a couple of days
I just wish the nagging voice wouldn't doubt me so much, reminding me to be more realistic...
1 minute at a time
The only time you will find real light is when you're searching in the dark..
It had been over a week since the last time I cried; I was so proud of myself simply for not being miserable. Then, today, I called you to finalize an arrangement and for the second time in as many days, you let me down and took no responsibility for it. I ruined it, cried like an infant, over something as pathetic as that.
All I want is time, just an hour here and there to prove you still give a damn about someone other than him. If what I'm asking is too much, then fuck you.
YOU ARE NOT AN IDIOT.
You're amazing.
And you're tired, very tired, but the pills will help right? And you'll feel better.
And if they don't, then the doctor will help, and things will get better.
If I could make it all go away I would. Honest, I want to zap you full of energy and confidence and self esteem and happiness.
I cant though, which sucks, but then I can barely muster up enough fake confidence etc to keep myself going.
I want to make it all better, I want my moose to be happy.
I'm sorry.
I know I'm annoying you both and generally being a bad person to be around. But I love you both, right now you're the 2 people that matter most to me.
I don't want to push you away.
||Lozz||
Ten seconds left until midnight:nine chances to drown ourselves
in black hair dye:eight faces turned away from the shock:
seven windows:and six of them were locked:
five stories falling:forever and ever:three cheers to the mirror:
now there are two of us:can we have one last dance?
Why do you always expect me to be okay?
If i told you that I'm not okay you would ignore me.
But I'm not okay and I'm sick to death of lying.
I told you that i was suicidal once, and you laughed in my fucking face!
What a great help you are.
I'm terrified that no one likes me. But if I ask them they'll say they do, of course.
Why should they like me? I'm ugly, fat, minging, stupid and not funny.
It's a wonder any one even pretends to be my friend.
and there she goes with her head in the clouds again, ignoring the drama and chasing her dreams. because to her, reality is a stranger.
Hah.
It might be all in my head.
Except it's not, I can hear what they say about me as I walk past.
Explain that.
I don't want to show my face, and I don't want you to look me in the eye.
Especially when you believe there's something more to me, that I'm a good person.
You'd be sick to your stomach.
I am.
Oh My Gooood!!! Oh My Fucking Motherfucking God What The Fuck!!! What. The
Fuck! What Is With You Mothertfucking Fucked Up Soddin People!! You Malicious Fucks!
Oh My God!
What The Fucking Fuck!!!!!!!!!!
"We need to get Kassy some help. She is homeless. Fucked up all the time. If we don't find a way to get her some help I don't think she'll make it to see next summer. I talked to her last night. We need to enlist the help of anyone who has helped in the past. She said she was in a bad situation and that she was scared. She smelled like liquor, it was strong. I've been told worse. She owes a lot of people money and she quit her job."
i am truly sorry my love. i cant call you as last time i got my mobile bill it was a shit ton of money. dont get me wrong i had the money, but giving it up only means im farther from getting to come and see you. then i could finally hold you in my arms and make everything ok for you. everytime i open my email and see that you sent me my heart skips a beat. you honestly hav no idea how much i love you. and honestly honey, you deserve so much better than me. i know you would say the same but trust me on this, your everything that a guy could ask for, i mean every possible thing. i constantly tell you that the way i am in love with you is truly magic. i have never felt this type of love, just thinking of you gives me butterflies in my stomach. and we have been dating for how long? i am in love with you just like the first day i admitted this to you. and you feel the same!! i wake up every morning and the first thing in my head is "good morning hannah." i go to bed and the last thing i think is "goodnight my love, sleep well." you mean everything to me. you are my world, everything comes back to you. just know that despite our current inability to contact each other thanks to your father, my love for you hasnt changed. if it has it would mean that i hav only fallen in love with you more. hannah, listen to me when i say this,
"I Love You"
Last edited by the darkness inside me : 07-11-2008 at 06:02 AM.
Reason: im picky
