silentgirl: You are always welcome here. *offers safe hugs*
Really not going well at the moment. Seriously suicidal and very depressed. Thinking I'm going to have to head back to hospital or that my husband is going to admit me to the public hospital here... really not good.
*curling up in a corner with my teddy bear and some pillows*
She shouts, she screams, she smashes your dreams . . .
Would you mind if I killed you? Would you mind if I tried to?
'Cause you have turned into my worst enemy,
You carry hate that I don't feel: It's over now WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
* Proud Plumeria Sister * My Support Thread * I got lei'd in vets *
* My RYL Family: big brother Doikers; little sisters MammaMia & flutterby butterfly *
My husband and I ended up being awake all night because of my suicide plans and self harm urges. The only way I made it through the night was by distracting myself as much as possible and taking sedatives. My urges aren't settling down.
*curls up in the corner crying*
She shouts, she screams, she smashes your dreams . . .
Would you mind if I killed you? Would you mind if I tried to?
'Cause you have turned into my worst enemy,
You carry hate that I don't feel: It's over now WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
* Proud Plumeria Sister * My Support Thread * I got lei'd in vets *
* My RYL Family: big brother Doikers; little sisters MammaMia & flutterby butterfly *
Mind if I join you two in here? Really not doing well right now at all :(
Maybe we could make a fort and have goodies?
~Matt~
Susanna Kaysen: I'm ambivalent. In fact that's my new favorite word.
Dr. Sonia Wick: Do you know what that means, ambivalence?
Susanna Kaysen: I don't care.
Dr. Sonia Wick: If it's your favorite word, I would've thought you would...
Susanna Kaysen: It *means* I don't care. That's what it means.
I don't know how much more I can take. Every day I become more suicidal and less able to hide it. Now I don't even know if I can be bothered to hide what's going on. Maybe I'd be better off once it all is over. *sigh*
She shouts, she screams, she smashes your dreams . . .
Would you mind if I killed you? Would you mind if I tried to?
'Cause you have turned into my worst enemy,
You carry hate that I don't feel: It's over now WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
* Proud Plumeria Sister * My Support Thread * I got lei'd in vets *
* My RYL Family: big brother Doikers; little sisters MammaMia & flutterby butterfly *
this is not to make anything harder on all you cutters like i am too. but. if you walk into a room with no errors you yourself have to be free of errors but how can you do that if you are a castle of glass. first free your mind of errors drink a glass of water, let yourself rest. sleeping is not a sin. you need it more than anything else to be able to do anything else. i cant start to remember how much sleep i used when i was comitted when i was 15 that year. full of cuts and bruises started to loose friends cause they got too hysterical about it. atleast you people are in here because you actually try.. they didnt.. im proud how much you actually stick together in this. dont try to hurt yourselves cause you try to be. dont die and love will find you.
I feel empty numb *curls up * my brain won't stop ... Please make it stop..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“She smiles with all that she has left,
tears left undried.
And though she has so much to say,
she’ll bottle it all up inside.”
- Unknown
I can't take being me any more. I have to let one of my alters out to take control for awhile... Maybe they can be happy.
She shouts, she screams, she smashes your dreams . . .
Would you mind if I killed you? Would you mind if I tried to?
'Cause you have turned into my worst enemy,
You carry hate that I don't feel: It's over now WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
* Proud Plumeria Sister * My Support Thread * I got lei'd in vets *
* My RYL Family: big brother Doikers; little sisters MammaMia & flutterby butterfly *
I just want to disappear. The pain is more than I can cope with. Think it's time to crash out in a corner and make myself invisible.
She shouts, she screams, she smashes your dreams . . .
Would you mind if I killed you? Would you mind if I tried to?
'Cause you have turned into my worst enemy,
You carry hate that I don't feel: It's over now WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
* Proud Plumeria Sister * My Support Thread * I got lei'd in vets *
* My RYL Family: big brother Doikers; little sisters MammaMia & flutterby butterfly *
I need to hide here for a lil while... its getting very rough and bad... trying to hold on but its difficult
~Matt~
Susanna Kaysen: I'm ambivalent. In fact that's my new favorite word.
Dr. Sonia Wick: Do you know what that means, ambivalence?
Susanna Kaysen: I don't care.
Dr. Sonia Wick: If it's your favorite word, I would've thought you would...
Susanna Kaysen: It *means* I don't care. That's what it means.
My easter weekend looking after my nanna has almost killed me, but now I am sitting here with my arm in a brace just wanting out of this life.
*crawls into a blanket fort*
She shouts, she screams, she smashes your dreams . . .
Would you mind if I killed you? Would you mind if I tried to?
'Cause you have turned into my worst enemy,
You carry hate that I don't feel: It's over now WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
* Proud Plumeria Sister * My Support Thread * I got lei'd in vets *
* My RYL Family: big brother Doikers; little sisters MammaMia & flutterby butterfly *
I am going to hide in here for right now... things arent going well even with the new meds
~Matt~
Susanna Kaysen: I'm ambivalent. In fact that's my new favorite word.
Dr. Sonia Wick: Do you know what that means, ambivalence?
Susanna Kaysen: I don't care.
Dr. Sonia Wick: If it's your favorite word, I would've thought you would...
Susanna Kaysen: It *means* I don't care. That's what it means.
Really depressed and anxious right now. Heading in for surgery in the morning and am hoping like hell the surgeon gets it right this time...
*curls up in a corner*
She shouts, she screams, she smashes your dreams . . .
Would you mind if I killed you? Would you mind if I tried to?
'Cause you have turned into my worst enemy,
You carry hate that I don't feel: It's over now WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
* Proud Plumeria Sister * My Support Thread * I got lei'd in vets *
* My RYL Family: big brother Doikers; little sisters MammaMia & flutterby butterfly *
Feeling really bad right now. I'm not safe at home because of the cameras and poisoned water and im not safe in the community because the curse is hurting people.
I don't know where to turn or what to do. Help!
The average,
well-adjusted adult
gets up at 7.30am feeling just plain terrible.
Call me Kate.
I have dyslexia so please excuse my poor spelling and sometimes poor understanding.
Kate: It sounds like things are really difficult right now. Do you have a safe person you can talk to or a safe place you can go?
Nebula: I can understand why you feel disappointed in yourself but beating yourself up over something that hasn't happened yet won't help. Maybe you can look instead at how long you go/went without giving in - if it was an hour, a day, a week doesn't matter. You have managed to fight off the urges for that time and every little bit counts. Sorry, I realise that's not what you probably wanted to hear but it's something we all need to remember as it is so easy to only see the negatives. *safe hugs if okay"
I'm getting closer to being able to remove the restrictive brace and getting my arm back. The last few weeks have been hard for both me and my husband. Because it is my dominant arm that cannot move my poor husband has been forced to do pretty much everything that has to be done. I have nurses attending three times a week to shower and dress me. To be perfectly honest the inability to do even the simplest tasks has left me feeling depressed and frustrated. So my suicidal side has returned strongly and my suicide plans are becoming more detailed. I'm just going to curl up in a blanket fort until either my mood improves or I'm dead *disappears into blanket fort*
She shouts, she screams, she smashes your dreams . . .
Would you mind if I killed you? Would you mind if I tried to?
'Cause you have turned into my worst enemy,
You carry hate that I don't feel: It's over now WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
* Proud Plumeria Sister * My Support Thread * I got lei'd in vets *
* My RYL Family: big brother Doikers; little sisters MammaMia & flutterby butterfly *
*hides in here so that they wont take me to the real psych ward*
~Matt~
Susanna Kaysen: I'm ambivalent. In fact that's my new favorite word.
Dr. Sonia Wick: Do you know what that means, ambivalence?
Susanna Kaysen: I don't care.
Dr. Sonia Wick: If it's your favorite word, I would've thought you would...
Susanna Kaysen: It *means* I don't care. That's what it means.
