well..i dont know many details about either situation Jo...you can say they are sexually, physically, and emotionally abusing you; you can talk about where they touch/what they do...the exact words dont matter too much, you just need enough to make it clear you are being badly hurt and need help. <3
Every day the world is made a chance to change but i feel the same.
And I wonder why would i wait till i die to come alive?"
All alone the way she feels
Left alone to deal with all the pain-drenched sorrow relief
Yes hun, it is definitely abuse. Even if you did need punished, punishment is never anything sexual. If she really loved you, she would treat you with respect, never hurting you like this. She's saying that stuff to try and make you believe that what she is doing is ok. Its not. NONE of it is your fault sweetie. Her being your sister is not an excuse and does not make what is happening ok.
Every day the world is made a chance to change but i feel the same.
And I wonder why would i wait till i die to come alive?"
All alone the way she feels
Left alone to deal with all the pain-drenched sorrow relief
The following content has been hidden - Reason : Trigger for some? Contains abuse...
My birth parents tried to kill me. Several times on complete purpose. They didnt want me. I was a mistake and she didnt want a girl. If anyone, wouldnt my birth mom want me? She gave me drugs I know. Have one memory of that. I was probly bout threeish maybe in that memory. She hated me. She did LOTS of bad things to me and to my older bio sister. Younger one wasnt around. Why I was taken away. Taken from her and my birth dad. My two bio sisters do things and hurt me to.
My entire birth family is... screwed up I guess. Including me. I dont hurt or touch or abuse others though. More men than girls have hurt me though. But I dont get any of it. Especially everything with my birth parents. More specifically my birth mom. dont get or understand why she didnt want me or didnt want a girl or tried kill me or hurt me or anything else. Hurts though. I think that if she of all doesnt want me... noone does. Im nothing. Im worthless. Am too much for anyone.
These kicks take me far away my dear; Far away from myself Far away from my troubles
Far away from heaven
"A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell 'em for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'"
It all just makes me wonder what did I do wrong? HAD to of done something though everyone from RYL says no. didnt do anything. Doesnt make sense that way. HAD to of done something! Its sooo confusing like everything else.
Why didnt she want me? Why.... why everything ya know?
thanks jo. no need be sorry.
These kicks take me far away my dear; Far away from myself Far away from my troubles
Far away from heaven
"A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell 'em for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'"
"A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell 'em for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'"
Cross country. Its not the running im not ready for. Ever since some 'investigation' been going on ive gotten new fear of females who i dont know. Its an all girls team and im not ready to be outside. the noises and and people... sorry. im pathetic. i know this sounds stupid. sorry.
These kicks take me far away my dear; Far away from myself Far away from my troubles
Far away from heaven
“The good things don’t always soften the bad, but vice-versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.”
“Nobody important? Blimey, that’s amazing. Do you know, in nine hundred years of time and space I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important before.”
“If it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.”
"A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell 'em for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'"
*lifts up Libby and cuddles her if that's okay* Oh sweetheart, don't you ever think any of this was your fault. Want to know why your bio mom didn't want you? Because she was a selfish, stupid, cruel drug addict who was too high and f*cked up to appreciate the beautiful baby girl in front of her. Your sisters couldn't cope with all the abuse and they became cold and violent as well. But you know what? *touches your face gently* You're the best out of all of them, because you stayed sweet and kind and good. Even with your struggles, you are still the best out of them, baby. You're a good girl, and you'll get through this. Just because some messed up people didn't appreciate you doesn't mean you'll never be loved. We all love you.
Last edited by troubleshooter : 09-08-2011 at 05:13 PM.
Farewell the Ashtray Girl
July 12, 1987-April 30, 2010
Tracie... Is ok to do. I know its not my fault. Wont think it. She is all those things plus more. But... my sisters could. Couldnt they? I cant cope but im not turning into them. Their choice to go evil and violent and cold. Like you said before. Right? So they didnt go mean to cope. Dont know why they did though. All was fine till the boys came along and f*cked up everything. Thats when my sisters went and changed and stuff. But not for few years after.
Anna.. thanks. Love you to. *squishes*
These kicks take me far away my dear; Far away from myself Far away from my troubles
Far away from heaven
They did get mean to cope, probably moreso because of what the boys did rather than your parents. After all your younger sister was probably a baby when you were all removed anyway. *snuggle*
Farewell the Ashtray Girl
July 12, 1987-April 30, 2010
i got sexually abused my by birth mother when i was a preteen (12) and possibly before that but i dont remember well enough before but it was inapropriate activity. also what scares me if before the incident i was straight. i like boys in my class and after i started feeling like not a girl, violated, less of a person so i started to think id become a lesbian. but i know that is related to the abuse. it robbed me of being a complete unbroken girl.
i dont trust men till this day even tho im in my late 20s, but i never really trusted women either.
and if you define sexual abuse as (being touched inapropriately , or forced to be naked or exposed to inapropriate sexual behavior especially before ur old enough, 18 and unwanted) then in that case i lost my innocense a long time before i was an adult and got sexually abused by both groups of men and women.
its too graphic to explain but i lost self worth, i thought my body isnt personal anymore even tho im still a child. theres nothing to protect and if im naked infront of a crowd of 1000 petofile adults than its ok because its the new normal. if random strangers put their hands on me inapropriately what does it matter because its already been done and seemed normal, i was over sexualised at too young of an age. one point i remember offering sex to an abuser in order to save my life because thats what i thought adults wanted from me. even tho i wasnt much older than 12.why should a child have to think like that
looking back now i cant imagine a young kid in my situation having to go through what i did.
where is childhood? and why cant kids, humans be safe and protected while theyre growing up.
*hugs* You were really brave to tell us that. I'm sorry your mom and other people hurt you as a child. I hope you understand now that you have a right to tell people not to put their hands on you or hurt or use you in any way. That's your body and no one can hurt you. *hugs* Hope you can get some help in therapy and something like that. Art and play therapy might help heal the child inside you as well, so maybe look into it. =)
Farewell the Ashtray Girl
July 12, 1987-April 30, 2010
