A thousand mile journey starts with the first step
Join Date: Oct 2009
I am currently:
Sadie - Kathryn told her that it might not ever get to that point where she can tell someone that she can't get intimate readily cos she can't even get that close and her Mum was like don't say that it will happen.
It won't happen, as much as I'd like to get close to someone and have done before it just can't happen. I don't feel like Kathryn is ever going to get over this, or at least help the little's get over it.
I know you both feel that way and we really do understand that feeling, especially Hiding, however, we do believe in fate and that there is a reason for everything. Y'all are still young and there is an entire lifetime ahead for y'all. Perhaps, y'all should get back into counselling despite however the mother feels about it. Y'all need to try to heal and many need help to heal and it is nothing to be ashamed of. I am sure there is someone out there who is just right for you(s), but perhaps y'all have more learning and healing to do before they come into your lives. Stay hopeful. Take care. Serenity
A thousand mile journey starts with the first step
Join Date: Oct 2009
I am currently:
Thanks, but her Mum is so unhelpful, and due to all the attachment/abandonment issues K has it's harder for her to go behind her Mum's back when it comes to something like this.
We'd like to believe there's fate and that there's a certain path everyone has set out for them... But if we believe that then we have to accept that what's happened in the past is our path, and seeing as how recent all the stuff ended we don't want to think there's more stuff like that in our future.
K used to have an idealistic view of how her life would go, but she's fast realising that it's probably not going to go the way she'd want it and it's scaring her really bad.
Thanks, I don't know how we're ever going to heal but I guess we'll just have to do it by ourselves.
hey Jasmine I think what Serenity was meaning to say was that ..like there is fate..that makes us go thru certain things ..like our past troubles and abuse for a reason..some sort of lesson our souls need to learn.. but just because we went thru it then doesnt mean we will again.. and we do have choices along the way to that can impact it.
basically, Serenity waas just trying to imply her " stay hopeful " crap.
I know she means well and all but her goody, goody everything will be ok **** gets on my nerves.
A thousand mile journey starts with the first step
Join Date: Oct 2009
I am currently:
Thanks (:
No I know, I try and stay hopeful but it's hard to.
Yeah my Mum's not really a big fan of us going into therapy again and don't know why :/
Thanks, same goes for you as well if you need/want to PM us (:
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Sapphire started crying last night because before we went to sleep I decided I wanted to watch Youtube videos of aliens and stuff (because I'm into paranormal stuff) and after I turned off my music she got scared of the darkness (cos she was out) and started crying. She wanted to go and tell Mum but she couldn't, cos when she gets scared of the dark she gets sorta paralyzed with fear like she used to when we were younger. Instead she visualises going to tell Mum about the monsters and how she's scared in an act to comfort herself. She went back in and I managed to calm her down. I'll be more careful what I watch before sleeping in future.
Hope everyone's okay today
Last edited by Kitkat :) : 05-12-2010 at 03:28 PM.
Sorry that Sapphire got so scared. Glad you were able to calm her down tho. sorry- still waking up and not real sure who is where yet or even whos out.. tink it is mostly me.. ugh hate mornings when we can't tell.
A thousand mile journey starts with the first step
Join Date: Oct 2009
I am currently:
Yeah, I'll just have to be more careful in future. She told me that most nights as a kid were like that; not sleeping because of fear of ghosts and monsters. It's her lying in the bed, too scared to move and get Mum, and I'm watching her be scared from the corner of the room. I can't do anything, but I can see her, she'd visualise getting Mum to try and calm down but it took her ages to get out of bed. She used to get Mum to come to the toilet with her even thought it's only a few steps away from our bedroom. I think I'll have to get a night-light for her.
Sorry you feel all mixed, I hate feeling like that as well.
went to the psych last month and Sunni didn't tell her about us, the diagnosed us with Borderline....said it fits, and increased our zoloft dose. since we've been diagnosed Onyx has been SIering really badly to the point of always needing a&e care. We have another apptment this month and I {or any of us} have no idea what to do.
Mother said Sunni was faking it when she told her what was going on...
it's the reason Onyx has been hurting so badly, because she, unlike most of us aside from the little's wants to be close to mother and she saw that as being shunned.
we need our anxiety med dosage increased but Sunni doesn't want to say anything...so I guess I'm going to have to for her..
-Sam.
“Because everything that goes around comes around. Maybe it's luck or maybe it's fate, but either way, it comes back around."
Rest in Love Sar-sis. I'll see you the next time around hopefully <3 12/11/92-05/18/16
AJs mommy ❤️ 11/26/17
Married to my best friend and Soulmate 3/5/18 ❤️💍
A thousand mile journey starts with the first step
Join Date: Oct 2009
I am currently:
Hey Sam, hope you're okay (: that's really brave of you for mentioning something like that on Sunni's behalf. I know how you feel, I have one called Onyx who self harms too, though I'm not sure why she does it. I've been diagnosed with Borderline as well. If you need anything feel free to PM us.
Dos santa coms for lil ons tat is stuk in big bodees?
i been wondrig. i hops him do. =)
sorry sarah has been obsessing about the santa thing since yesterday for some reason. anyhow today is split shift at work which we hate cuz it gets dark so early and then we are there when its dark which is creepy.
however- it is usually quiet in the evenings so *shrug*
work sucks so wish we could just stay home and do junk here, but oh well. SADIE
Sarah- Santa does I'm sure, I don't think he discriminates :)
KitKat- I'm fine thank you and myself or Iris always has to take care of the things Sunni's unable to do because she can't speak to people she doesn't know, nor does she know how to deal with children so that's where Iris comes in. we have another one, Rala who self harms also but not as bad as Onyx does, what she does actually worries us a bit because it's not "normal self harm" if there is such a thing...
hope everyone is well and Sadie I'm sorry about you having a rough time at work. :/ we are currently unemployed because Sunni is agoraphobic horribly so all we do is go to college 3 times a week. we'd like to work, but, most of us have different job tastes then the others -shrug-
“Because everything that goes around comes around. Maybe it's luck or maybe it's fate, but either way, it comes back around."
Rest in Love Sar-sis. I'll see you the next time around hopefully <3 12/11/92-05/18/16
AJs mommy ❤️ 11/26/17
Married to my best friend and Soulmate 3/5/18 ❤️💍
I ritd santa a letr toda for michel to giv to him. i told him lots stuf but mos of al i tol him tat sinc he is a majic persin tat i hops he us him majik to mak everibodee insid an outsid to bes happi an tat he helps my frend's daddi gos way.. hers daddi livs ther now an scars tem lil ons badbad. but i did tels him som stuf i wans to.
Yeah work sucks bad. so ready to quit especially with all the changes we are fixing to have and one of out guests husband told us tonight he loves us and has a crush on us and he is soo yuck.. he gives us the creeps bad. he knows we are married too, but guess it dont matter to him idk..*shiivers* anyhow getting tired from meds and sarah wants back out torelax before we go to sleep. take care all. sorry we arent commentig too much on everyones comments lately.. we will try to be more..attentive.. SADIE
Spoke to mum today, said being sick of being dissociated, last time had been gone for months. Thought was May and it was October. She tried to understand but such disorders are hard to understand. Only done this "switching" thing a few times. Why is it a disorder of losing yourself? Why not people with us instead of taking over the body until we come back?
don't want christmas to come...it scary bad bad things happened then...don't want them to happen no mores
“Because everything that goes around comes around. Maybe it's luck or maybe it's fate, but either way, it comes back around."
Rest in Love Sar-sis. I'll see you the next time around hopefully <3 12/11/92-05/18/16
AJs mommy ❤️ 11/26/17
Married to my best friend and Soulmate 3/5/18 ❤️💍
A thousand mile journey starts with the first step
Join Date: Oct 2009
I am currently:
Sarah - I'm sure Santa will come for the little ones (: you won't be forgotten.
Sadie - Don't worry about being more attentive, as long as you're okay that's all that matters (: we hate work too, I was going to quit but I do need the money. Wow that's really weird about the guests' husband, some people are just weird creeps like that.
Vaxir - Hope you're okay, well done for talking to your Mum about it, dissociation can be quite hard to understand for people who don't experience it, or do experience it but not as severly as others such as yourselves.
Rala - Sorry to hear about that, are they still happening now or is it causing memories to come back? *offers safe hugs*
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Mood's have been swinging violently, I'll go from being okay in the day to crying myself to sleep at night. Plus I want to get my tongue pierced, but my Mum said she wanted me to get it done when I was married or had move out, and neither are going to happen anytime soon and I REALLY want it done. Anyhoo, the main problem is the children are taking it as my Mum abandoning us, and seeing as all they want is to be loved by her they're not taking it very well. They're dreading it when I turn 18 because then I'll officially be an adult and they're scared she won't wanna know anymore or when I get my tongue done.
“Because everything that goes around comes around. Maybe it's luck or maybe it's fate, but either way, it comes back around."
Rest in Love Sar-sis. I'll see you the next time around hopefully <3 12/11/92-05/18/16
AJs mommy ❤️ 11/26/17
Married to my best friend and Soulmate 3/5/18 ❤️💍
A thousand mile journey starts with the first step
Join Date: Oct 2009
I am currently:
*offers safe hugs* I'm so sorry to hear that, I don't know why but some of the Christmas songs have been triggering for us and making us upset but they never used to, this is the first year this has happened.
*gives you tissues* if you don't feel safe you could always go over to the Safe Room in the A&B Board, they're very welcoming there.
hi i havemt been out much.dunno why. Today we were off work cause we work saturday night. had a horrible headache earlier and sarah took amuscle relaxer and2 advil. slept quite a whileand just woke up almost had a severe anxiety attack cause mike got snappy with daughter cause guess she was talking back to him. bad anxiety is side effect of the muscle relaxer dr told us. and i guess since we have G.A.D. i guess it makes it kick into overdrive so just took xanaxfor it since feeling super jumpy and scared.
kathryn- sarah says thank you and she hopes your right. Sadie says he does creep us out alot. we usually try to avoid him by being where he cant see us when he comes by the desk..guess from now on sadie is gonna try to handle work a bit more cause of that.
I feel like i am losing myself. i dont know why iam not out much anymore. i know it isnt the others faults cause we usually don't block others from being out except sarah sometimes. and that itsnt always easy. i dunno.im confused and way jumpy and anxiety and scared feeling.
