We were met at the front of the unit I would be staying in by a tall, thin, smiling woman standing a few metres in front of the door. She looked as if she were in her fifties and I immediately felt uncomfortable in her presence as I got out of the car with my parents and James. My parents both shook her hand warmly and introduced my brother before turning to give a sad look at me. The woman shook my hand as well and I smiled, clocking the badge attached to her nurse’s uniform. Ruth. God, I hated that name.
James started to complain and my father ushered him into the car to keep him quiet while my mother started talking to Ruth about her worries for me while Ruth reassured her I was in the best place possible. I disagreed. I was eighteen and the best place for me was at home, getting ready to move from college to University. I was supposed to be living my life, not letting nurses and therapists live it for me.
Eventually my mother joined my father and James in the car and drove away from the unit, leaving me alone with my suitcases and Ruth who helped me carry them inside. She showed me around the unit and introduced me to a few of the women who were also there. I was surprised by how young most of them were considering it was an adult unit, and I felt ashamed at how ‘normal’ I thought they were upon first meeting them.
After Ruth had shown me around, we walked up a set of stairs located in the very centre of the unit directly behind the front doors. As doors slammed and nurses patiently tapped their knuckles against the wood separating them from the patients, Ruth stopped abruptly outside a door near the end of the hallway and knocked three times before entering, dragging one of my suitcases behind her. The first thing I noticed was the soft carpet beneath my feet and thought this was to make the patients feel more at home than in a hospital as the rest of the unit had no carpet at all.
The bed closest to where I was standing was empty, but the other bed was occupied and up jumped a girl not much older than myself, extending her hand and introducing herself as Tammy. Her enthusiasm for a new roommate made my heart leap to my throat. I only just managed to choke out my name in return as Naomi jumped into my head, causing a pain worse than any other pain I had ever inflicted on myself.
Ruth agreed to leave us to get acquainted and attempted to take the other suitcase I had been carrying as well as the one she already had a hold of. I shot a look at her and she explained she had to check my suitcases to make sure I had not brought anything unsafe or illegal into the unit. I stood stock still for a few more seconds before I let go and she walked away.
“So Keira, I’m excited to know everything about you,” Tammy smiled. My heart stopped. Those were the exact words Naomi had used.
I smiled back and told her I felt tired and just wanted to get some sleep. She flinched, feeling rejected, but said nothing as she sat down and leaned back on her bed and opened a book. I felt bad, but pulled back the sheets on my back, curling up underneath and covering my face, a single tear escaping my eye. I bit my lip so as not to cry out like a wounded animal, blood escaping the skin and covering my teeth, a slight relief washing over me.
I miss you, Naomi.
I'm gonna tap him like a maple tree. I'm gonna search him for some syrups. I'm gonna be having sex with him.
"People have abused you lots in the past? Why do you then abuse yourself more?" - Quote
Sometimes I feel like I'm alone, Sometimes I feel like I'm not that strong, Sometimes I feel nothing at all, Sometimes I feel vulnerable, Sometimes I feel a little fragile
I just started reading this story yesterday..and I couldnt stop but had to but its an amazing story very good story line and everything. I can't wait to read more. your a very great writer
&&She already feels invisible soo it wuoldnt be hard for her to disappear... It's a ****ed up fairy Tale...&&She's Living It &&She's been pretending everythings okay like it's her job...And she wants to quit that job and get anew one. &&She hopes that all the **** she's been through will be worth it in the end &&shes had her heart ****ed with way to many times. &&She always has that smile on her face...you know the one that hides all the pain but nobody can tell.
