Tried explaining a bit more to mum - first we were schizophrenic? now we've not had bad enough abuse to have DID and what's happened to us happens to loads of people so it shouldn't affect us. It's being blown out of proportion.
So that went well..
Don't think it's right time to try and open up about things that've happened/are happening right now. Feeling pretty low, the world seems against us today.
I hate to post in this thread, but I was depersonalizing a lot whilst cutting today, it was crazy and scary so it made me want to cut more as I didn't really relise what I was doing. It's faded a bit now and it's better but I am scared my cutting will get worse and I wont know what I'm doing! I don't think I'm making any sense right now, sorry xx
alyssa, have you got a therapist or a shrink to talk to about the experiences you are having?
Grounding techniques can help in keeping you in the present and aware of your body, so can 'mindfulness' being aware of your breathing, touching/smelling things around you and really noticing things about them...
We know how scary it can be to lose control like that.
I hate posting in this thread but i don't know what to do =[. there's already 12 of us (including me the host) and now there might be another one that none of us knew about. i don't want more. >.<
I would type as a "we" but not all of us agree. people want me to get help. that would get rid of the others. >.< we don't want that. we don't want die. i don't want to be alone again. they help us.
ps. first time posting in this thread. hi everybody!
I dreamed I was missing, you were so scared.
But no-one would listen, cos no-one else cared
I'm strong on the surface, not all the way through
I've never been perfect but neither have you
Hey IC,
How are you? You sound a bit distressed, we (particularly our frontman) gets freaked when he finds parts he didn't know about too, we think its normal.
There are more than 50 of us and we don't want to integrate, but we do go to therapy so we can function better together. We are working on communication and cooperation so that we can function as healthily as possible.
We don't want to integrate because we feel the same way, we would like to work together as a group.
completely with you lostboys on that issue. i'm really for coexistence and i've yet to meet someone that wants integration
i'm only co-conscious with five others and the majority i've learned are aware of me but i'm not of them and i've come to accept that. things have gotten most triggered when important attachments are jeopardised (well duh chris!)
hey IC i can relate to what you've said about what feels like making that connection and that reality. as one beautiful monomind said to me, in the end, love is always the way. i got angry when i heard that because i hated what sounded like a feelgood cliche but my reality has grown to merge with that idea. we wouldnt be where we are now without (here goes) love and acceptance (seems like that's all i ever talk about. sorry folks)
alyssa - i can so relate to what you've said. really alarming situation to be in and i'm wishing you warmth and for things to slow down
Katrica - if its any help i'm thinking of you right now in this hard world
hey,
not sure what is going on with me at the moment.
i feel quite disconnected from myself and everyone inside. it blows.
and this... feeling in my stomach is driving me nuts...
I have this huge horrible thing growing in the pit of my stomach.
It's fear; ...no terror, pain and confusion. It's making me sick, scaring me.
I can't get to it. The more i reach out to it the more guarded and defended it becomes.
While i try and figure out what the hell it is and why its there, its like it sends rushes of terror, pain and anguish through me. It's growing and I don't know what to do.
it feels like a warning... But its been like a week now... and it wont go away. im scared of asking inside about it. everything goes blurry when i try to write (journal) about it, or how i am feeling... it blows...
*sigh*
Hey Kat,
How are you feeling now?
We're sorry things are so hard, is anything helping?
How did you feel about being able to hear them? Was it comforting? Did you try to communicate with them?
our frontman is having a really hard time. he's just refusing to come back. he won't move. he won't talk to anybody. he's just sitting there crying. we have to rotate alters(or whatever you want to call us) to keep the body safe and functioning normally.
It's so quiet with only 8 of us.
We're thinking about telling somebody about everything, somebody professional, but that sounds scary, and kyles parents would find out and it would be bad.
Any ideas? Would they think that dissociations and everything would be enough to break the confidentiality clause? we live in the UK.
I dreamed I was missing, you were so scared.
But no-one would listen, cos no-one else cared
I'm strong on the surface, not all the way through
I've never been perfect but neither have you
*Shyly waves*
Thought i should add a hello and explain a little.
Every-things been fine for two months, but now, they all want to be in control, every minute of every day, arguing, shouting, fighting, i don't know how to stop it or cope..
I just end up crying, my moms even commented, she doesn't know, how do i deal with this?
I really have no idea what to say.. sorry =[
Hey Crazy chaotic mess. Nice to meet you. How are you doing?
We are the lostboys, that's what we call our system.
Do you have a therapist or pdoc to talk to about this stuff?
We usually do a lot of journalling to keep our communication going strong so we know what one another are doing... Do you journal with your parts?
