teardownoldwalls: You definitely deserve to be here <3 Slipping up is a huge part of recovery. It's tough, but you can make it through. *hugs* I hope you're doing alright. God will be there to see you through!
"God take me, because I hate me" -Underoath
We are male and female. We are artists, athletes, and students. We have depression, PTSD, eating disorders, bipolar disorder, or maybe no diagnosis at all. Some of us were abused, some not. We come from all walks of life and can be any age. We are every race or religion that you can think of. Our common link is this: We are in pain. We self-injure. And we are not freaks.
It is alright! Quite frankily, a lot of people who go into complete recovery tend to 'come out' as to say, but can still recover again.
I have got a question though, how does one know when they have completely recovered opposed too a relapse over a long period of time? I thought of this about a week or two ago but never asked it
Everybody probably thinks they can do better than what they do or can do (I feel as if I worded that badly, cause I did) and with the SI, nobody should do it anyways! But.. I guess people do it and sometimes it is unintentional, or one is unaware.
Sorry for not saying anything about god or anything if that is what you are kind of looking for, I dont feel right, or privileged to say anything like that. Sorry.
*HUGS*
Last edited by Frail Existence : 30-03-2011 at 03:16 AM.
Reason: phrased a sentence wrong
These kicks take me far away my dear; Far away from myself Far away from my troubles
Far away from heaven
Idk. I went one day short of three years, so for a long while i thought i was recovered, because for over a year i rarely thought about it and had no desire to do it, even on bad days.
thanks for the hugs.
Every day the world is made a chance to change but i feel the same.
And I wonder why would i wait till i die to come alive?"
All alone the way she feels
Left alone to deal with all the pain-drenched sorrow relief
Hi Libz,
I work in addiction centre and we refer to lapse and relapse.
A lapse is when you have a one off slip up. Like you cut once or maybe twice but you then regret it and want to go back tot he recovered stage.
A relapse is when you slip up and do it several times and maybe ver a longer period of time than a lapse, like for several days/weeks or months.
For people who lapse we support them to get back on track and into recovery.
For peple who relapse we tend to recommend that they go trough the treatment process again as may have lost perspective of thing and control over other aspects of their lives.
Not sure if this applies quite as black and white as it sounds to SH, I work in the drug and alohol addiction field.
not doing so good. feel so far from God, especially since Tuesday. shouldntve done it. past 3 nights had too many feelings come up from sa. nearly had a panic attack tonight.
*hugs to everyone*
Every day the world is made a chance to change but i feel the same.
And I wonder why would i wait till i die to come alive?"
All alone the way she feels
Left alone to deal with all the pain-drenched sorrow relief
Anna- I am sorry! I know what you are going through and I wish I knew what to say! But, all I know is those feelings will not forever be there, or at least that is what I have been told! (Not sure if I believe it though) But here is a *BUNCHES OF HUGS* and on here you can assure safety:)
These kicks take me far away my dear; Far away from myself Far away from my troubles
Far away from heaven
not doing so good. feel so far from God, especially since Tuesday. shouldntve done it. past 3 nights had too many feelings come up from sa. nearly had a panic attack tonight.
*hugs to everyone*
I'm sorry it's been so tough :( *hugs* I hope you feel closer to God soon! How are you today?
"God take me, because I hate me" -Underoath
We are male and female. We are artists, athletes, and students. We have depression, PTSD, eating disorders, bipolar disorder, or maybe no diagnosis at all. Some of us were abused, some not. We come from all walks of life and can be any age. We are every race or religion that you can think of. Our common link is this: We are in pain. We self-injure. And we are not freaks.
Guys, i could really do with some support... I'm at the stage where i'm not even apathetic about my faith anymore, it's more than that... I'm still involved in small group and stuff but it's like i give the 'right' answers and support others but i just can't get it myself, i have this ingrained belief that it's for other people, that love is for others, that grace is for others, that forgiveness is for others, not for me. I get angry that people tell me i'm loved and worth something, i'm not.
In terms of how this is effecting the rest of my life, my depression is worsening daily, my SH is escalting too, i have a rule that if i need to get medical help (stitches, infections etc) then i will, i have to take responsibility for it, but these past 2 weeks after ending up in A&E twice in ten days for stitches, there were talks of duty of care, involving others, assessments, breaking confidentiality etc so i stopped getting help for it but carried on cutting to the extent that i should have got stitches... I don't know what to do, i can't bring myself to stop and i'm scared because it feels like decisions and control is being taken away from me by 'professionals'
...sorry for the rant... i just needed to tell someone that i'm not ok.
Anna - I used to have real bad nightmares and the memories and 'flashbacks' a couple years ago. They got soo bad they put me on medication to try and suppress them! It worked alright. I think they were a bit too strong for the medication. Soo I understand the whole feelings and memories and stuff! I dont like to talk about them or anything!
This is like the first time since the last two years I have mentioned anything about them though... bit odd for me but, I really hope they go away for you!
*LOVING HUGS* :)
Last edited by Frail Existence : 03-04-2011 at 11:54 PM.
Reason: because
These kicks take me far away my dear; Far away from myself Far away from my troubles
Far away from heaven
Susu... you shouldnt break your rule! You set that in place for a reason and you should follow it! The professionals are only talking about that stuff because they care for you and your safety! It will and only will help to let them help you!
Letting them help you will calm the sh and cutting and could bring your faith back up! You should get the medical care you need! *HUGS*
These kicks take me far away my dear; Far away from myself Far away from my troubles
Far away from heaven
I wish i could agree that i shouldn't break my rule, its the only thing i had in place to keep me safe, but i did break it, a few times in the past week and now i'm terrified that my counsellor will find out and things will be taken out of my hands... not being able to control who knows scares me and just triggers me more.
I am sorry. Could you call up your counsellor and talk? When is your next appointment? Is there somebody close who you could call or talk to?
Are you okay at the moment, maning the cuts more inparticular?
If you do go and get help, you could end up finding who all knows! Not trying to scare you or anything, but if they find out who your counselor is, they will probably tell him/her.
These kicks take me far away my dear; Far away from myself Far away from my troubles
Far away from heaven
It's too late realistically to get the medical help that would have been needed so theres no point, and the reason i didnt get help was that they all already know who my counsellor is so he would find out...
I have an appointment with him tomorrow, i'm kinda scared because it's been a tough week.
