I let myself fall into a lie
I let my walls come down I let myself smile and feel alive I let my walls come down
No matter how i try i don't know why
You push so far away
You wrapped your hands tight around my heart
And squeezed it full of pain
[Chorus:] With this knife i'll cut out the part of me
The part that cares for you
With this knife i'll cut out the heart of me
The heart that cares for you
I can't believe the way you took me down
I never saw the pain
Coming in a million broken miles
Like poison for my veins
-----
And everything about you
Seemed to be a lie
A guiltless twisted lie
It made me learn to hate you
Or hate myself for letting it pass by
I will get there. Someday
When everything feels like the movies, yeah you bleed just to know you're alive
I gave everything to you.
And you betrayed me. Just like everyone else.
I'm done.
And now I sit here
I'm all alone
So here sits a bloody mess
Tears fly home
A circle of angels,
Deep in war
'Cause I wanted you
In this tainted soul
In this weak young heart
Am I too much for you?
oh non-believer, please believe me.
is there honestly nothing in this world
that keeps you living & breathing?
you're a ghost in your own
goddamn city.
Well I stepped into an avalanche, it covered up my soul
when I am not this hunchback that you see
I sleep beneath the golden hill. You who wish to conquer pain
you must learn, learn to serve me well
You strike my side by accident
as you go down for your gold
The cripple here that you clothe and feed
is neither starved nor cold
he does not ask for your company
not at the centre, the centre of the world
When I am on a pedestal,
you did not raise me there.
Your laws do not compel me
to kneel grotesque and bare
I myself am the pedestal for this ugly hump at which you stare
You who wish to conquer pain,
you must learn what makes me kind the crumbs of love that you offer me
they're the crumbs I've left behind
Your pain is no credential here
it's just the shadow, shadow of my wound I have begun to long for you,
I who have no greed I have begun to ask for you,
I who have no need You say you've gone away from me,
but I can feel you when you breathe
Do not dress in those rags for me
I know you are not poor
you don't love me quite so fiercely now
when you know that you are not sure
it is your turn, beloved it is your flesh that I wear
When everything is lonely I can be my own best friend.
I'll get a coffee, and the paper, and have my own conversations.
With the sidewalk, and the pigeons, and my window reflection.
The mask I polish in the evening, by the morning looks like ****.
As she sits in the corner
face to the floor
she dispels smoke from from her lips
and slowly floats away with it
letting go of so much pain
her tears are thick enough to stain
the pavement that slowly becomes
her best friend when she needs to run away
This is your time to weep
This is your time to morn
Not yet time to build up
Just a time to tear down
old walls
Does it help to say I'm sorry
If so than I'm sorry that your so unhappy
This life those lies are starting get you down
Darling don't let them drag you around
Saying 'it's my fault' doesn't help repeated
Time love and Jesus seems to beat it
She'll find out this is harder than
Taking medicine
We're still waiting for the fire
Seeing smoke and waiting for the fire
Now I will tell you what I've done for you Fifty thousand tears I've cried Screaming, deceiving and bleeding for you And you still won't hear me...
So I can't trust myself anymore I'm dying again, I'm going under Drowning in you, I'm falling forever I've got to break through...
So go on and scream Scream at me, I'm so far away I won't be broken again I've got to breathe I can't keep going under
oh non-believer, please believe me.
is there honestly nothing in this world
that keeps you living & breathing?
you're a ghost in your own
goddamn city.
Well the feeling's coming on again
It’s kickin’ and is screaming deep inside me And I’m so tired of fighting with my self
You're not here, I’m nothing, I’m alone
And I'm feeling more and more like less and less
As I curse to tell of all along these lines
Because words are all we have to much time
So far, far away from my heart
Far, far away from my heart
It's just a voice the flokes are nowhere near And memories they’re starting to unravel
We’ve been through this so many nights before That you'd think it would be easier by now
So I let the chemical reaction cloud over
The pain that keeps on hurting
As I slowly, but too slowly drift away
To a place I know where I don't have to think
God I hate myself for lovin' smoke and drink
So I'm far, far away from my heart
Far, far away from my heart
And now I'm staring blankly at the tv
Holding this guitar for some comfort
But it's so hard to write a simple song
And try to turn this feeling into melody
So I put it down get on my knees
Close my eyes so tight, now I'm praying
To anyone that maybe can hear me
Tell me everything will be okay
And I don't think I can make another day.
I don't want to let you down
I just want the chance to turn myself around
I keep searching for the sound
I don't want to do you wrong
I just want to take us back where we belong
We were hot and we were oh so strong
Oh I know we will make it if we try
Reach for the stars and we can touch the sky.
Darling, once more, won't you give me one more time
Say these words together
I need you more than everTrying once more
One more chance to make it right
Never say never, let's rise up together, take on the world.
I don't want to change a thing
I don't want to change this whisper to a scream
Same old song in a different dream
Sorry I stole the show
I can't believe I had your heart and let it go
I always loved you but I didn't know
Oh there's nothing standing in our way
We've got the love but do we want to play.
Darling, once more, won't you give me one more time
Say these words together
I need you more than ever
Trying once more
One more chance to make it right
Never say never, let's rise up together, take on the world.
From now on, I'll write about flowers and butterflies
Chickens and kittens and [-]
From now on, I'll try to look myself in the face
From now on, I'll try to find someone who knows I exist
So I won't have to feel like I do
It's not what it seems,
Not what you think,
No, I must be dreaming,
It's only in my mind,
Not real life,
No, I must be dreaming
oh non-believer, please believe me.
is there honestly nothing in this world
that keeps you living & breathing?
you're a ghost in your own
goddamn city.
Dancing at discos, eating cheese on toast, yeah you make me merry, make me very very happy, but you obviously, you didn't stick around
and so i learnt from you.
my heart is out at sea, and my head's all over the place
It must have been a place so dark you couldn't feel the light
Reaching for you through that stormy cloud
Now here we are gathered in our little home town
This can't be the way you meant to draw a crowd
Oh, why, that's what I keep asking
Was there anything I could have said or done
Oh, I had no clue you were masking a troubled soul
God only knows what went wrong
And why you'd leave the stage in the middle of a song
"You are imperfect and you are wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging." -Brene Brown
I'm feeling cold today,
Not hurt just ****ed away
I'm devastated and frustrated
God I feel so bound
So when I feel the need
I think it's time to bleed
I'm gunna cut myself
And watch the blood hit the ground....
Im on the outside
i'm looking in
i can see threw you, see your true colours
because inside your ugly
ugly like me
i can see threw you
see to the real you
"The body faught to survive, it evacuated toxins in any way it knew how. It made clots to stop the bleeding.Bones would find the quickest ways to heal themselves. It made scar tissue. In the face of violence towards it, it would become violent. It was amazing, yet excruciating. "
