A few years ago I wore a hat to stop waves from the Organisation getting to my brain. Do you think it would stop the implant interfering with my brain until I can cut it out?
The Organisation were interfering with my thoughts so I put foil in hats to mess with the waves they were sending. I thought maybe the same would help with the implant?
Almost a week ago. Would a change work that quickly? This week my urges to leave the ward and buy blades have got stronger. And they were laughing at me on the telly.
based on how we know the world to work, the stuff re foil and implant does not make sense to us. that said if making and wearing a hat is something you can safely do and would make you feel safer, then we don't see the harm in it.
Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.
You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.
It was ok. No leave but not surprising given what I was saying. She said to phone the neurologist's secretary and get a phone call because I think it's a while until my next appointment. Still have the fun task of keeping a stool chart. And next week I'm having blood tests.
hmmm. what would you be hoping to get out of talking about it? sometimes working backwards and thinking about what would be helpful can help us figure out what to say and also what to ask for to guide conversations. we hope she will be kind about it if you do decide to bring it up.
Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.
You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.
what would permission to eat when you are hungry look like? could that be something to bring up with your mum first to see what she says or is there a reason it needs to specifically from the psych?
not trying to discourage you from asking! just wondering if the permission is all you need, and you are not wanting to be talking about what is happening or thoughts around eating, etc., then maybe psych might not be the best person? Don't think they'd laugh at you or anything but more so that they would want to talk about it more like why you would need that, why it's so difficult for you, and so on. Where if you literally just want the permission there might be someone else who could help with that.
That said, if you think the psych is the best one to ask, definitely go for it and bring it up!
Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.
You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.
I had my ward rounds. The psych cba waiting for blood results so I'm stopping olanzapine and starting aripiprazole. She's increasing sertraline to help with depression/anxiety thoughts around food. I've got 30 mins leave with staff. I'm confused - I want to move towards discharge but I also want to use the leave to run and buy blades.
What do you think would happen if you ran to get blades? It hasn't been successful in the past and I think in one way or another you would be unsuccessful again either with getting away or whatever you want to use a blade for. Please try and focus on the positives of having leave and trying to work towards getting home. They will only take your leave off you and you'll be going backwards if you do anything while on leave.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
I ran to get blades but they IDed me. I'd decided to try another shop but suddenly the nurses were blocking the door. They brought me back to the ward. The doctor will decide what to do about my leave tomorrow.
The ward manager is really keen for me to go into supported housing but I'm not convinced. Apparently I'm a complex case and they've got a panel about me next month, luckily I don't have to be in hospital for that. She said all they're doing is keeping me safe and that's not enough. My next ward rounds is on Wednesday and we're going to talk about discharge. If I don't manage to ask for a date, the ward manager will "support me" in asking.
I don't know what I think about discharge. I still want to cut out the implant 99% of the time but there's that 1% that pops up occasionally now that has doubts.
