I'm going out to the office Christmas lunch out in an hour, Irene. It's at 2.15. And my stomach is rumbling now, never mind by 2.15! Despite buying a heap of food in Tesco this morning, I have nothing worthy of a snack. I should have thought of that!
Kerry, that sounds frustrating and sad. I'm sorry.
How could I tell my homeopath that there's a specific remedy I've been reading about that really resonates for me? It's not one he's ever mentioned. But it covers both the early and later trauma stuff, the whole PTSD-attachment disorder bundle. But if he's not thought of it, wouldn't that be me trying to take control and not trust him?
Yeah does seem pretty hopeless..i dont want to live in a marriage feeling like this...it just seems everyone expects me just to move on with life even though he raped me...twice. Nothing has really changed in regard to rape in marriage...if he were a stranger i would be able to do something...i just hope he doesnt find out this piece of info..means im unprotected...God this is hard...its like no one hears nor can help. By the way im sorry for whinging on here...just thought u guys would understand
Last edited by Wannabfree : 18-12-2009 at 01:25 PM.
Reason: apology for whinging
That makes sense, Irene, thanks.
We're in a conundrum, really, as the only remedy that seemed to ease my separation anxiety just seemed to suppress it, as Katrina was still around full force. The remedy I'm reading about is specifically for birth trauma, which I have/had big time, and started the road of everything else really.
I need him to explain things to me more, as I just kind of swallow whole what he says a lot of the time - hence all my emails, of which I'm rather ashamed about.
I hear you, Kerry.
Is there any other avenue of support and advice you could explore?
Im ok, just really tired (had some stuff to get done this morning so didnt nap)
Going home for a bit soon, but I have stuff I need to do there so doubt i can nap then either.
Not sure if there is any other avenue except running away. This is what i feel like doing. No one has ever listened my whole life nor believed me but i cant keep shutting my mouth. But to open it will mean alot of trouble for me.....just want to feel loved and safe is all
This thread gets so busy when I'm not around!! ;) Hehe... guess because you all are from across teh ocean and I'm not... lol. So you're posting when I'm asleep.
Speaking of sleep, slept soundly - SOUNDLY!!!! - from 8:30pm-7am. Am so happy about that... it felt so good to sleep that long. It's Christmas break now and so I can do that!! Woohoo. :)
My cat wants to play with my iPod headphones. Haha. He's so cute. :)
Went clothes shopping yesterday and got some namebrand stuff that was already cheap (discount clothing store) for even cheaper... woohoo. :) The only problem was, it was right after I ate a lot so I felt fat and huge and wanted to purge. :(
Kerry, so sorry about things... rape in marriage does exist, I believe you. We learned about that this semester in my Sociology class. *big hugs*
Kahlia, Katie, Kim, Matt, how you all doing? and how's Romp today? *more hugs*
*yawn*
RYL family: Doikers is my brother
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter into another! - Anatole France.
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter into another! - Anatole France.
i would like to know how to cover my tracks online so if u want to tell me that would be great. I more meant that if he finds out that he wont get into trouble for rape then its going to be bad for me...
Kerry, you can delete your internet history. Depends on which browser you have how you do it. I have Firefox set so it clears my history each time I close the browser. Although I'm the only one who uses it!
*more hugs for Kerry* I wish that we could help more. I use IE too and you can just go to history and right click on the site, and there is an option to delete the site. I do that a lot on public computers when I don't want people knowing the address to my LiveJournal. :)
Hi Katie. *hugs* How are you? You could send some snow over here, as long as you land it so it's not on the roads. Don't think anyone would mind... :P
Irene, I am a little more chilled out, which is definitely good... school is over, I'm just worried about final grades, which are due on Monday. :-/ I hope I do well in all of my classes... don't want my GPA to drop too far. :(
Haven't eaten yet, probably should go grab a protein bar or summat as I'm a bit gnarly in the tummy. Lol.
RYL family: Doikers is my brother
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter into another! - Anatole France.
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter into another! - Anatole France.
Thanks guys :) yes the instructions are clear...i will just delete my history. Plus i have made myself the administrator of our computer so i have a password and he cant get into my stuff. So that should be ok.
Thanks i just went in and did that now. Wish i didnt have to cover my tracks but i guess i have to be careful. i dont hate my husband or anything but i really would like to see him admit what he did was wrong. he is also very racist which disturbs me too
''sigh'' any of you guys have trouble sleeping? its after midnight here and no sign of sleep and i have to ration my sleeping tablets cause im too scared to go back tio the doctor.
My car broke down today too and had to be towed and ive been having panic attacks all afternoon.....grrrrrrrr im hoping tomorrow will be better!
Really im not usually this pessimistic but today has just been bad. I hope i dont scare you guys off!!
