its ok carrie im glad you said it tbh cus then i know wat im doing and its understandable with the stuff ur going through. if u need to talk im here im beta at listening then i am at asking for help lol
Im so sorry that the urges became too great and you felt the need to cut after all that distraction you did today. Painting your nails is good. My therapist gets me to write a long list of distractions and when one doesnt work, you move onto the other and so it goes on and hopefully the urge goes away......maybe try to plan your evening so your mind is occupied with reading, puzzles, bath, etc.
But hey, I know you know that and we both know it doesnt always work
Wish I could help. Youve done so well today. xx
Does anyone else find that they constantly have to be doing something self-destructive - if it's not one thing then it's another. At the moment it seems to be if I'm not cutting then I'm binging or drinking lots of alcohol. As soon as I try to control one then another gets worse. Anyone have any ideas on what might help? I'm also really frustrated with myself because I've just come out of hospital after being sectioned for 3 months and I'm already stock piling tablets. I don't want to go down this road again but I can't bring myself to stop it or tell my doctor so she'll stop prescribing me them. I'm not planning on doing anything with them at the moment, I just need them there.
I do the same thing. When i dont harm I restrict my food intake quite drastically and only allow certain types of food. I also drink as a form of harming. I too have a stock pile of pills for when I need them.
Do you have any follow up care since your discharge from hospital? maybe a Cpn or social worker? If you dont want to confide in your doctor, maybe you could talk to them. I really do think you ought to tell your doctor how bad things still are for you, he may beable to offer some other type of support.
Much love xx
I have outpatient appointments with the psychiatrist and I see the uni mental health advisor. The CMHT won't see me as they're busy and only taking on 'priority cases'. They took me off my section 2 weeks before I was discharged from hospital and because I stayed informally it means they don't have to provide me with follow-up care from the CMHT. I'm scared of telling my GP that I'm having suicidal thoughts again because I'm supposed to be doing well and I don't want to disappoint her. Hopefully it's just a blip and things will pick up again but if not then I will try and talk to her.
I get what you mean Rowie. It's really good that you've done something positive though and you shouldn't punish yourself for that. Could you maybe do something to keep yourself busy which might take the need to harm away until it subsides a bit?
I know that when I have been discharged I go down hill for a short while. The feeling of being out in the world on my own after all that support....so maybe it is a blip and things will turn out ok. But if you carry on feeling the way you do I would seriously try to pluck up the courage to let your doctor know how things really are. You wouldnt be letting them down, you would be enabling them to do their job xx
i cant do this right now, i really cant, and no one cares how i feel, i cant keep helping everyone when im falling apart inside. pills blades i need something anything i dont care i really dont.
"Its not how long a star shines, what is remembered is the brightness of the light"
I'm back from the hosp. When I went in initually they said they were sending to dykebar to get assessed (local mental hosp) but I dunno, I wasn't feeling suicidal and I was just feeling **** about what I had done, hence why I went obviously to get checked over. I just explained my impulsivness etc etc and the dr said I could go, once my bloods came back.
I'm home anyway. I feel realy sick but thats my fault for overdosing, least I aint done no damage, and I have an appt with my cpn in the afternoon which is probly going to be more of a challenge, tbh.
I am worried about work though, didnt go in all weekend, going to go and see my gp in the morning and get a medical line, they gotta give me something :(
I can't woprk out if my stomach is sore coz of the pills or coz I am hungry mmmm
Mari, just take things a step at a time. I dont do relationships either but good luck anyway x
Something has changed within me, something is not the same, I'm through with playing by the rules of someone elses game. Too late for second guessing, too late to go back to sleep, its time to trust my instincts, close my eyes and leap....
Somethings I cannot change, but till I try I'll never know...
***
Big hugs to all my friends on here, thanks for your constant support - love you guys
Glad to hear you've done no damage Hollz. Good luck with your appointment tomorrow and I hope your doctor gives you a note for work. Maybe try something small to eat if your tummy is hurting.
You do matter. Could you go to your GP to see if there's any support you could get whilst you're waiting? They might be able to push you further up the list or something.
Something has changed within me, something is not the same, I'm through with playing by the rules of someone elses game. Too late for second guessing, too late to go back to sleep, its time to trust my instincts, close my eyes and leap....
Somethings I cannot change, but till I try I'll never know...
***
Big hugs to all my friends on here, thanks for your constant support - love you guys
why can no one see me then. Why is it always about other people. Why doesnt anyone tell me they care or ask me whats wrong. Why do i have to keep hiding it.
Why do i feel like i want to cut or overdose.
"Its not how long a star shines, what is remembered is the brightness of the light"
Do you not have a pysch, or is it because you are back in Glasgow now?
Something has changed within me, something is not the same, I'm through with playing by the rules of someone elses game. Too late for second guessing, too late to go back to sleep, its time to trust my instincts, close my eyes and leap....
Somethings I cannot change, but till I try I'll never know...
***
Big hugs to all my friends on here, thanks for your constant support - love you guys
I was on a section 2 and then a section 3 but they took me off section 2 weeks before I was discharged. I'm going to have out-patient appointments with a psychiatrist and I'm on the waiting list to see a psychologist but that's all the after-care I have. The uni mental health advisor is going to see me weekly for a while though.
