I wanted to ask if its common with bpd to one minute feel ok and the next attempting to kill yourself? Or at night thinking how you should die and then waking up in the morning as if everything is nornal?
You have to do everything you can. You have to work your hardest. And if you do, if you stay positive, then you have a shot at a silver lining
'Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life'
“Courage does not always roar. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow.’”
I think that's supposed to be one of the defining characteristics of BPD, that your mood can change very frequently and unpredictably. I am often considering suicide after being triggered by something small then finding that a couple of hours later I'm a lot better. How are you coping with your changing emotions?
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
thanks for that. i tend to just try and wait it out
You have to do everything you can. You have to work your hardest. And if you do, if you stay positive, then you have a shot at a silver lining
'Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life'
“Courage does not always roar. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow.’”
Hi everyone. I just logged into RYL for the first time in years and saw that this BPD thread was flagged. I've been diagnosed recently as well.
Sorry you're finding it hard Sock. It is confusing. Part of me was relieved because I thought I was bipolar and didn't want to spend my life arguing with doctors about not wanting to take medication. At least the recommended treatment for BPD is talking therapies.
Have you been assigned a therapist Sock?
Havealittlefaith if you need to talk feel free to PM me.
And thanks for the book recommendation phoanhcharmie, I'm going to order it now.
Hi mybigcomedownnn, No still waiting to see GP after they get the report from the psych.
I had one more question, sorry about the questions.
I experience this loads (incl. now). So when im feeling suicidal this goes around in my head, that even though im aware the thoughts wont last i still want to harm/kill myself especially fearing that this moment in which i wnt to kill myself might be the only chance i'll get and that its got to be done and its so hard to ignore this intense thought. Is this also common/symptom of bpd?
You have to do everything you can. You have to work your hardest. And if you do, if you stay positive, then you have a shot at a silver lining
'Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life'
“Courage does not always roar. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow.’”
I experience that too. I think a lot of people who get into a very intense state of being suicidal feel like although there is evidence that it will pass, in that moment it is all consuming and something has to be done about it. It's sometimes helpful to talk things through with someone who has been in a similar place or has seen you get through times like that before.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
Thanks.
Guilt and because i know the feeling will pass which makes it seem rather attention seeking stops from talking to friends or anyone else. And theres the fear that if i talk to them but still hurt myself or try to kill myself and succeed at it then the thought that they could have helped would ruin their life and i dont want that for anyone. So I keep everything to myself the worse i feel.
You have to do everything you can. You have to work your hardest. And if you do, if you stay positive, then you have a shot at a silver lining
'Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life'
“Courage does not always roar. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow.’”
I just feeling low had 2 od’s in 3 weeks. Have came close to doing it more . Recently cut as well. I just feeling so alone and hurting. I’m sad. I find this time of year hard to deal with and I’m starting to panic in the dark. I’ve been staying in more and pretending it’s okay when I go out. I am that person whose always laughing and joking and makes others feel better.
I experience that too. I know that my mood changes all the time and that if I go to sleep the suicidal thoughts will probably be gone when I wake up, but it doesn't stop it being all-consuming. *Potentially triggering* For me it's like I can't bear to end up in that state over and over again, like it doesn't matter how much progress I make if I still feel that awful again, so I just need the pain to stop.
I've read that DBT can be very effective in reconfiguring those thought patterns.
I would say that it can be useful to reach out to someone when you feel like that, someone who understands and won't react in an extreme way. I think sometimes all it takes is a friendly voice or text to make you feel a bit better, that's why when a therapist makes a crisis plan with you there is usually a contact on it. Pick someone you trust and don't feel guilty about reaching out to them, we're all here to help each other in some way if we can.
Havealittlefaith do you live on your own or is there someone staying with you? This time of year can suck I agree, when the evenings get dark and everything seems a bit more oppressive.
I live alone I’ve had a friend over the past few days all they do is sleep they aren’t doing good either. I’m sick of people’s saying don’t go outside it doesn’t matter what your doing or wearing bad things happen and that doesn’t help. I don’t know kid I wanna be dead or alive . Is it selfish to want everything to stop because your hurting.
I don't think it's selfish but it's not the answer. Sometimes all I need is a little crumb of something good to break in and then those feelings go away so I think it's just about finding it somewhere.
It's tricky when you're around other people who are in a similar mindframe. I think a few days of being inside and indulging yourself can be good, but after that it makes the agoraphobia worse so I'd suggest maybe just getting out to a park or something, with headphones to block out the world a bit, some fresh air and see some nature or squirrels or whatever. Sounds a bit lame but that's just what I'd do.
How do you talk to family and friends about this? How do i tell my fiance without him worrying about me. If i do anything that suggests im being careless or being reckless he starts to worry. The reckless part is a major part of bpd. I dont want him to worry or be annoying about it. Honestly when he tells me to be careful it bothers me. I dont want to be careful.
You have to do everything you can. You have to work your hardest. And if you do, if you stay positive, then you have a shot at a silver lining
'Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life'
“Courage does not always roar. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow.’”
Well, I'm not sure if I'm the best person to advise Sock. Out of my family I've only told my older sister and she hasn't been helpful at all. She makes a joke about me being BPD and tells people when we go to the pub. I think she likes the fact that she can view me as 'mental' because it makes her feel better about herself.
I've told one friend who was supportive but doesn't really know anything about BPD and I only see her once every couple of months. My ex knows too but he has narcissistic personality disorder so I try not to have any contact with him now.
It's a good sign that your fiancee worries about you, it shows he cares, and I think the main thing is to keep the communication lines open. My therapist helped when she told me that just because now I'm diagnosed as having BPD, it doesn't mean that I will always have it. It is possible to recover, you need to work hard, go to counseling or CBT or DBT, read books, talk to people on forums like this, go to support groups, try mindfulness, exercise, self care, etc. You're going through a rough time but it doesn't have to define you, and you can explain that to your fiancee so he can help you too.
Is it possible for 2 siblings to both have bpd?
I ask because my sister often shows symptoms of BPD, more so than i do. And she is what seems to be the classic case of BPD, threats not to leave, displaying anger she cannot control, often coming across manipulative.
Myself, on the other hand dont come across this way.
She's not diagnosed, i am. I have told her to get help a few times but she doesnt want to.
I know no one here can say whetehr or not she has BPD, but thats not why i ask. I ask because despite her not being diagnosed, I read the symptoms and think, 'that's not me, thats my sister' - and so its making it hard for me to accept.
I've also mentioned my diagnosis to her and her response was 'that sounds more like me than you'
You have to do everything you can. You have to work your hardest. And if you do, if you stay positive, then you have a shot at a silver lining
'Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life'
“Courage does not always roar. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow.’”
I read that there are over 100 ways to meet the criteria for BPD so there are many different presentations of it in different people. Lots of mental health problems are shared by family members because of genetics and being brought up in a similar environment etc so it's definitely plausible that you both struggle with BPD. Is there a diagnosis you think fits your symptoms better than BPD? If you're struggling to see why you have been diagnosed you should definitely speak to someone involved in your treatment.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
I recently attended an NHS workshop (UK) as part of a programme called "recovery college" - They are still a fairly "new" thing so if it hasn't come to your area yet, i'm sure it will soon but I do recommend them - They are made up of NHS professionals alongside volunteers who have the illness so you get a balance of practical / textbook and lived in experience. They offer a variety of courses or workshops and there was one specifically for "understanding personality disorders" so I thought it may be helpful to share some info.
What is a personality disorder? (Plain English Summary)
A personality disorder is to do with the particular ways someone feels, thinks and acts typically over a long period of time. These ways are very different from how people from the same background would feel, think and act. A personality disorder will affect at least 2 out of 4 areas:
- Thinking
- Feelings / Emotion
- Relationships with others
- Control of urges
These long standing ways of feeling and acting are difficult to change and can create distress for the person or make it difficult for them to function.
Sock posted a few days ago and said the criteria felt more fitting for her sister. It may be interesting to know there are 256 different possible combinations of the criteria to be diagnosed with BPD / EUPD, so it can affect people in very different ways even if we have the same label. I have read accounts where I have been left feeling as if perhaps maybe I have the wrong diagnosis and other times I will read something that really resonates with me, so it is worth bearing in mind even with a diagnosis it is not a "one size fits all" label. I found BPD a very difficult label to accept. I'm not entirely sure why - Did I hope for something else? BPD seems "messy" to me. It felt like a long journey to be diagnosed and then when you finally have some clarity, it feels like there is very limited support and understanding - so how the hell can you make sense of it yourself?
Hope everyone who reads this is taking some positive steps to their own recovery.
Last edited by moofdy86 : 02-12-2017 at 10:23 PM.
Reason: Adjust spacing
