I agree with tamobhuuta. You must have some coping strategies even if you can't think of them rn. Try and use them. You never know they might help.
Wannabe CPN : -)
"He who is tired of Weird Al is tired of life." - Homer Simpson "I hear those voices that will not be drowned" Sanity is a nasty disease. The world would be a happier place without it. - Rilic
RIP Kat 4th July 1987- 11th June 2013
I'm not keen on staying safe though to be honest. I have been using all my coping strategies, I always do. I did speak to the unhelpful person on Duty who was as I guessed unhelpful. She is going to speak to my psych tomorrow though and see if he has any suggestions but I don't think anything can be done other than just continuing to let the Lurasidone do its thing. I feel like lying on the floor but I must stay upright and stick to my routine. My routine has already been messed up today what with meeting up with my gym friends and having to do things after that and it makes me feel really anxious.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
Sorry for the crappy suggestion. I hope you can find a way through this.
Wannabe CPN : -)
"He who is tired of Weird Al is tired of life." - Homer Simpson "I hear those voices that will not be drowned" Sanity is a nasty disease. The world would be a happier place without it. - Rilic
RIP Kat 4th July 1987- 11th June 2013
My psych and the hospital psych just want me to use my coping methods and give the Lurasidone a chance. My coping methods aren't enough. I feel very alone and distressed with no one really to reach out to who is helpful. Hopefully I can get to know my CPN better and he will be good for me but it's a long time between appointments.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
Maybe that's something you could ask CPN about? Like learning about new coping methods and trying them. Because it what you got isn't enough and they say to give meds time maybe new methods would help?
Everything people have suggested so far has been unhelpful. I am always open to suggestions though. I seem to know everything and know what is useful for me but I'm very low and hating having to stick to certain routines etc and fighting through every day. It's not good.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
I'm really struggling. I don't know if I can make myself understood to any human or to myself in words (or images etc). I can't have a proper conversation with the men or the followers or my twin who may be more understanding of me. I am alone. I feel like everything is wrong and nothing is good. I don't belong here. I need to sort out a suicide plan that I can complete successfully but my brain is too thick and heavy to properly investigate things. My CPN will never be able to help me. I wish Duty didn't finish so early at the weekend, it doesn't seem like a good idea. My brain hurts from lack of proper interaction with people yet it's difficult for me to interact. I don't know if there is a solution. I think it's going to be 3 weeks until I see my CPN again after I see him on Monday. These 2 weeks have been hard enough. But I didn't have a CPN for 3 years, so. I'm meeting up with my brother tomorrow. If I didn't feel I had to do this I would choose to never see him. I'm so horrible. I wonder how he feels about our relationship. I don't want to be on my own tonight. I'll have to put on the TV to babysit me then listen to music before bed and then battle my thoughts and feelings in bed until I finally fall asleep only to wake up to everything being wrong again. Why am I so low if I am on two antidepressants? I don't dare come off them anyway. I hope I'm never made to. My life isn't really in my hands when psychiatrists control what treatments I receive or don't receive. I can't cope any more.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
Meds are tricky. Eg I was on one med years ago and it did nothing, this year it got me out of hospital! So don't give up on finding the right med. And I really must encourage you to eat the recommended amount with the lurasidone or it just won't work.
People have said there will still be food in my stomach from my dinner when I take my Lurasidone so it's ok to take it at night.
I'm maybe going to try and schedule in some time to talk to my twin like my Mum always encouraged in childhood. Maybe if I invest enough I will start to hear her again. Speaking of my Mum I know it's Mothers Day and I feel kind of upset this year. My brother cancelled meeting up. He did it last minute even though he himself doesn't like plans changing last minute yet it's ok to do it to me. He said he wouldn't be good company but it's not about his company because it's always me who has to steer the conversation even when I'm in hospital. I can't continue with this relationship but I'm trapped in it. I'm being horrible anyway. I finished my initial internetting early and didn't know what to do and was distressed. I need to be doing certain things at certain times. I don't think I can hear anything from the other world now. It's still distressing not hearing things. I want to at least hear the followers so I can soothe them and look after them. I imagine they are still very distressed. I'm seeing my CPN tomorrow. I hope I can somehow get some understanding and support.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
The people who have told me this are medical professionals. The psych at the hospital allowed me to have my Lurasidone at night and there's no way I'm going back to taking it with my dinner and ending up in my bed exhausted at 7pm. That was a horrible time.
I feel like I need to schedule in a time to talk to my twin because my whole life is a schedule but I can't think about when I can try and fit it in and I don't want to be talking to someone who won't reply. My brain won't let me consider adding things to my routine. I freak out when I do things in less time than I usually do and it's not the right time to be doing something else. I can't explain how hard it is to break from routine, my CPN thinks there will always be changes in life and that I should be able to deal with them. I wish I could.
I just want my CPN to hear how much I'm struggling and for me to be able to put it into words. I need to be heard and understood and supported. I feel so alone with everything. I really hope he won't go off on a tangent talking about random things for ages this time.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
I appreciate that in general one should trust medical professionals over randomers on the web but honestly at this point I would trust both the people on here who’ve given advice on the lurasidone.
My CPN had to rearrange my appointment to tomorrow. It's only one day I know but each day is a struggle and I've been holding on for this appointment for 2 weeks. I'm grateful I'm not having to wait for much longer though.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
The weird thing is it doesn't help me sleep at night but I do feel the weird sensation in my head of it trying to make me sleep. I don't mean to sound rude or anything but I just couldn't cope with how things were before when I was taking it earlier.
I feel upset because people I talk to are getting to see their psychiatrists and being allowed PRN etc but I've just been told to cope. I can't just cope. I haven't managed to do much reading today. I've been sitting doing nothing during my reading time and getting anxious about it. There's nothing I want to do. I don't enjoy things and that makes distractions hard too because I can't focus. I can't go anywhere new on my own. Everything makes me anxious and feels too much and impossible. I can't even settle down to activities. I can't even change my routine a tiny bit. Living feels awful. I can't change anything for the better even with the support of my CPN. I wish antidepressants worked well for me. I was better off immersed in the other world.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
Another DISappointment. My CPN went on about things I didn't want to talk about, I had more important things I needed support with. He was talking lots about my strict schedule and things I could do about it but I really needed to talk about how I'm feeling. I did say that wasn't what I need to talk about and tried to talk about other things but they just led him back to talking about my schedule etc. He went off on a tangent about irrelevant random things again too. I probably wouldn't have been able to explain things well enough anyway. It'll be 3 weeks until I see him next. I feel so hopeless about the way things are going in general.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
