Even if I eat healthy I still can't lose weight. I've tried it. Even if I eat something real small I can't lose weight. I don't get it. My biological aunt is pretty thin, as is my grandma. My biological mom is pretty hefty but it's because of her medications. I'm beginning to wonder if I am that way because of the medications (taking them while she was pregnant with me?) Hell I don't know. I was super skinny when I was a kid but then again I never ate. Ever. My mom had to force me to eat. Then I got older and started eating more and instantly gained weight. It's been constant over the years now I gain weight every year. By the time I am 50 I will probably weigh 500 pounds at this rate.
The following content has been hidden - Reason : ED trig
Growing up with my mom has always been a constant battle. If she wasn't bitching at me about my grades, she was bitching about my weight and skin condition (I have a skin condition on my face mainly where it is like acne but my skin gets all bumpy and stuff and its always oily even after I wash it with soap and water). I decided when I was a teenager I would just not eat. I would go a whole day eating very little. Mom never noticed of course because like I said she is in denial has been for as long as I can remember. But then I was going to be a "counselor" at a church camp during the summer for younger girls (meaning I would bunk with them and basically be a glorified babysitter...this was back when I was a christian). I decided I could not continue those eating habits anymore I had to be a good role model. So I started eating normally again, but I really had to force myself and I made myself so sick because I was not used to eating regular amounts of food anymore. Long story short, I really ****ed myself up. Now if I go more than a few hours without eating anything I get so weak and about pass out.
But I can't do anything right. I have to walk on eggshells even around my husband...a normal person should not have to do that. There really is no place for me in this world..
Last edited by Tears and Rain : 10-01-2011 at 10:24 AM.
Reason: Removed numbers/potential food list. x
~*~*~ I love my wardies ~*~*~
hi. Im Danika. 14, sad, and alone. Dont really like bein touched.
Im Chloe. Im 6 years old and shy. I like to play and color.
I'm Clarissa. I'm 17 and a protector. I do what I need to for everyone else.
I just wish she'd stop talking, I want her to stop. The more she talks the more I hear voices, the more the voices tell me how terrible she is, the more I realise she's bullied me all my life. I just want to disappear. She keeps watching all these "look at how these fat people lost weight" programmes on tv and keeps telling me I need to go on one. >:(
I just want her to shut up.
Kitty - you shouldn't have to walk on eggshells, I wish we could all run away somewhere safe. >:(
Last edited by SparkleKitten : 03-01-2011 at 01:25 AM.
Reason: adding
The Wardies are my Family. They'll always hold a special place in my heart. *~Plumeria Sister~*
She keeps telling me that I don't have anything wrong with me, I'm just making it all up for attention and a reason as to why I'm fat. I hate it here. I hate her.
Just ignore her. You know the truth sweetheart *cuddles* You're not fat at all. We're all here for you xx
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fallinstar0317
*spies sarah, ian, helen, and kitty* hello all of you!
*hugs everyone*
Family still here, snuck off for a few seconds in my room though. And of course there is drama... can't get through a family get together without a fight.
Hope everyone is okay as can be.
*cuddles lots* Sorry there's drama :( I hope things don't get too heated. Sorry I haven't replied to your PM yet xx
-hugs helen, oliver, and sarah- Sorry there's not much I can say to help right now. Hugs are about as good as it gets.
-curls up in her dark corner and stares out into the abyss and snuggles a protective teddy bear, hoping it will do its magic-
~*~*~ I love my wardies ~*~*~
hi. Im Danika. 14, sad, and alone. Dont really like bein touched.
Im Chloe. Im 6 years old and shy. I like to play and color.
I'm Clarissa. I'm 17 and a protector. I do what I need to for everyone else.
hi. Im Danika. 14, sad, and alone. Dont really like bein touched.
Im Chloe. Im 6 years old and shy. I like to play and color.
I'm Clarissa. I'm 17 and a protector. I do what I need to for everyone else.
Ian you are welcome to come join Sarah and I in this corner. There's plenty of room for you too. Just thought I'd offer.
-snuggles with sarah and sighs- I jus dont know how much longer I can tolerate it. I dont even live with her anymore and she still acts as though she can control me. I have told her she cant but she wont stop until she wins. Then she would just find something else to bitch about.
-takes in a deep breath- sorry mom...I'm not perfect. I'm far from it. I get it...I'm a complete failure at anything and everything. -sighs again-
~*~*~ I love my wardies ~*~*~
hi. Im Danika. 14, sad, and alone. Dont really like bein touched.
Im Chloe. Im 6 years old and shy. I like to play and color.
I'm Clarissa. I'm 17 and a protector. I do what I need to for everyone else.
Man I've been busy all frickin day. I'm still not done either! I'm just taking a small break to repair a baby blanket for the boys.. o.O then it's back to work... la te da :)
~Kelly~
the hardest battle you are ever going to fight is the battle against yourself
I'm not sure if the "having fun dear?" was directed to me or not.. but I'll answer anyway... lol
Not at all! I hate cleaning... the laundry keeps reproducing so fast I can't keep up with it (I cloth diaper so that's a large part of it), and it seems as soon as i finish cleaning something I'm back at it with in an hour or so (the joys of having small children)... lol :P But I am getting it done ... even if it is slow going... and that makes me feel good.
~Kelly~
the hardest battle you are ever going to fight is the battle against yourself
-curls up next to sarah- its ok. I understand. I honestly dont even know if theres any help or hope for me anymore. :(
~*~*~ I love my wardies ~*~*~
hi. Im Danika. 14, sad, and alone. Dont really like bein touched.
Im Chloe. Im 6 years old and shy. I like to play and color.
I'm Clarissa. I'm 17 and a protector. I do what I need to for everyone else.
it's k, kitty... just a fact of life.. I've been putting off repairing this blanket for over a month now... it feels good to get it done now.. and it's a good break
~Kelly~
the hardest battle you are ever going to fight is the battle against yourself
