Triggering (Abuse) - dissociative distress thread

[Stellata]

Thanks Chris and Kat etc.

I took an extra Quiet Life last night, the full normal dose. I went to sleep around 10 and don't remember much after that.

I wish the world would go away, but I need people or I'll crumble even more.

[slacker]

Katie... reading what you've said and reaching out to you with warth and wanting to protect

feeling really tearful just now. so much to do. so many needs of others. just want to curl up and be not me. forget it all. i can relate to that Katie

[Stellata]

Maybe because the pain's still there?...

[bleeding black]

We went to the beach for a few days for new years so we havent been around at all.

Sorry we've missed you all. We're going to try to spend more time here.
We are thinking of you all, kat, chris, katie and everyone.

[bleeding black]

The beach went well on the whole.
Got trashed, (who doesn't? it's like a crime not to) and ash's girlfriend dropped her phone in the ocean. It now fizzes and doesn't turn on or ring. Thumbs up to her. She also 'lost' her keys. So we wandered around the beach over broken glass, through police barricades, over couples sexing.... To find they were in her bag in the tent all along.
Had an awful hangover the next morning. more than 12 standard drinks....*groan* but we (system) stopped drinking at like 11:00. (And was drunk anyway for hours!)

Camping was alright. Usually most of us cannot stand camping (trigger related) and sand.. But we are getting better. We loved it. Although we fell over in the sand and got it all through our wallet and jeans. And took 2 drags of a smoke (whilst wasted) after quitting 4 months earlier. (Haven't since)

Understandable that you are getting frustrated with losing time.
We can empathize, we're having similar problems and have for years.
It gets easier. Takes work but we know you guys can do it.

Ash is having a terrible time remembering and we are running on 2 hours sleep. The night before a touch more.
We saw our T today but forgot to ask for sleeper prescription.
Also didnt speak to her about us wanting to get an actual therapist (T is a psychiatrist but does therapy stuff too)
We need someone who can get out the crayons and sit on the floor.
Our old therapist did that.

Our eyes are twitching, probably lack of sleep...?

Whats going on with everyone else?

[slacker]

we became a hermit over new year. only way to go for us

[Stellata]

I hid, too.
Sedated myself through the night.

I'm too much Katrina right now to write much of sense. Sorry.

[Emo]

WE have DID our host is to scared to post at the moment tho .

[Emo]

She was bullyed on line before and something happned the other day that scared her so she dont want to post so i posting for everyone

[Stellata]

Hi, Purple Goddess.

[Horizon]

Hey there Purple Goddess.

[bleeding black]

Hey everyone
Just stopping by.
How is everyone?
Thinking of you all

[Stellata]

Cold! Very cold.
And have pain in my shoulder.
But I seem to be doing better emotionally today than yesterday....

[Emo]

...we just woke up ...

[Horizon]

Lots of noise in my head, thats about it.

[slacker]

i'm/we're mostly ok. head feels painful right now but it will pass

hi Purple Godess. good to see you and everyone here. no pressure here and this for me feels the most respectful thread. i know some forums and chat can get harsh and i'm sorry you had an unpleasant experience. hard enough with what you've got to deal with and being here for support and opening up can feel quite vulnerable too so i can relate

wishing you all warmth and gentle connections

[Emo]

...we feel unsafe ..dont want to be out but no one else will come out....

Anne

[Stellata]

What's making you feel unsafe?

[Emo]

...want to do bad things...flashbacks ...trying not to be bad ...

Anne

[Stellata]

Those're hard feelings.
You don't have to hurt yourself because of them.