One thing is something that happened to me last night:
My friend Ashley: *looking over my shoulder while I'm writing in my diary* No, Bobbie, you don't want to die. *takes it and looks through it* *dirty look* Stop.
Me: Not that easy.
Ashley: Uh, yeah, it is. Just don't scratch. (how I SI now: scratching until I bleed)
after a director saw it and he made me talk to him and about telling my parents:
him: okay. why?
me: .. thats... personal.
him: i cant let it be personal.
My old friend told me I was just doing this for attention. :l It really got me upset, and, it ended up making me cut anyways. I hate when people call me emo or tell me I'm doing it for attention...
I was sitting in the car with my cousins this one time, and we were listening to Asking Alexandria and she looked over at me, and directed it at me and said, "This music makes my wrists wantto bleed."
Call me a name, kill me with words. Forget about me, it's what I deserve.
First person I told : "You're crazy", " I knew someone like you, that's attention-seeking" (with a bit of despise)
My boyfriend (before I relapsed ) saying that hopefully that could have been worse, and hopefully I had stopped before it would. Telling me about his "ex" who self harmed a lot, that it could be addictive but "hopefully" I wasn't at this level... Well, yeah I guess I have to improve myself...
But what hurt me the most were always the way these friends I told forgot about it two days after I finally told them, as if that was nothing...
"I don't see what more I can do."
Terrible in every circumstance, whether it's about work you need help with, or if it's personal things you need help with.
Hearing that is like hearing "I give up on you, go away"
Oh yeah, and you know that bitchy person who will never be a true friend to anyone, but you're smart enough to despise from the word go. When everyone knows you self harm, or at least that you have self harmed, and they lean over and look you in the eye and say loudly enough for everyone around to hear
"OMG, Do you cut yourself?"
EDIT:
Just thought of another one, though it's not really inappropriate, more funny than anything else, because sometimes I wear black, but a lot of the time it's baggy jeans, bright T-shirts, and a red jacket.
But when people find out you self-harm, and they shout after you "Dirty emo"
I guess it is inappropriate, because it's belittling the problem.
"Alright, gang. I'll ignore that some of you are late... if you ignore that I'm the latest."
WOW, I feel like a total idiot ......
I said some of those thing to a friend that SI, I tried to talk with her and tell her that it will be ok and that I was there for her, but I did say some of those thing to her, like "why?" "Quit it", and other things.....
I didn't know I feel like a total idiot for doing that, I did mean to make it worse..
Now I see her some days a school, and I just want to say sorry for what I said.
I know how bad those words must have irritated her.....I cut now, and SH, I know how the words affect me......I completely forgot about me telling her those things, till I read this forum.
Hey IamNOTok, I think most of us realise that when friends say stuff like that to us, that they usually mean to help. It's acutlly quite a difficult thing for a friend to have to deal with. I've said some stupid things to family member about mental illness, just because I didn't really understand. Try not to feel too bad about it, I'm sure your friend will forgive you.
"Oh, just sit in a corner and cut yourself again, emo loser..."
My mom use to say “oh go cry and cut your self” and “Go chop on your wrist some more”
(I was upset when she said things like that. And I did cut myself once after she said that, I remember wanting to kill myself I cried so much.)
One of the things I can’t stand is when people say people that cut are just emo.
This girl at school said she was going to be emo for Halloween and cut her wrist.
(I was so angry, I just wanted to scream and lecture her about being ignorant.)
I overheard my grandma and aunt say, “They won’t go away”
(I knew they were talking about my scars; a couple minutes later my aunt came into the room and asked if I needed vitamin e capsules for my scars. I couldn’t believe they just found out about my SH and that’s what they said, although I guess it was with good intentions. But I can’t help but feel they were just trying to cover it up and pretend it never happened. It seems like they act differently towards me now.)
My grandma referred to my SH as “misbehaving”
(I got angry, and wanted to tell her all the horrible things that she didn’t know.)
You're so beautiful, why do you keep scaring up your body?
If I was so beautiful why do you only tell me when you find another scar?
She's emo, LOL
I don't even know how to begin with this statement. I'm not anywhere close to being emo, not that it's an insult to me, but people need to realize that just because people self harm doesn't mean they're emo. It's like calling someone who decided to wear black pants and a black shirt that day gothic. Like no, just don't even speak.
She just wants attention.
Yeah, how did you know? It feels SO amazing having people talk behind my back, don't you think? ......No, only when you truly understand how much pain I am in will you then realize you're a jerk and you're wrong.
She'll get over it.
Really? You think so? It would be REALLY cool if you were right, because I tried three times already, and I failed.
Promise me you won't cut?
Why? Everyone who has ever said this to me (other than my mom) has walked out of my life. So if you honestly cared about me, you wouldn't have left...
Copying from someone else: But I love you, you don't need to do this?
If you loved me, as so many of you have said, why don't any of you talk to me anymore....
Why don't you try one of these coping methods?
Because they don't work, which is exactly why I started doing it in the first place, and I feel like you guys don't believe me because you keep pushing these "coping" methods at me. Like I said, they don't work, they haven't for years. So please, can we try a different approach?
Mom: I'm afraid to leave you in house alone for so long, because i'm afraid i'll find you in your room hanging by the fan or something.
She doesn't know I started again, but the last time she knew it was two years ago, and I feel so awkward every time she says it. It's just like, mom, please, don't start.
Last edited by MandiC : 20-09-2011 at 04:50 PM.
Reason: Left some of it out
......
I feel like a total idiot for doing that, I did mean to make it worse..
