I've got to have everything either perfectly tidy or messy as well. And when I tidy up and something isn't straight or in the right order or place I get incredibly stressed out and begin to cry.
My hands have to feel a certain way too or else I panic completely.
Hoods! They have to be neat and tucked correctly.
I count things as well, and feel uncomfortable and restless if something is an odd number...
I have OCD too, was diagnosed around 3 years ago now. It is a difficult disorder to live with i find because a lot of people make jokes about my obsessions and compulsions especially at work and they dont see how hard it is to deal with that stuff every day.
I have had therapy for it though and it did make things much easier.
Yes
Hi all... I was diagnosed with OCD a few years back, in addition to all the other disorders, I seem to be a nice cluster of mental illness
I'm not really sure what the point of this post is, other than to speak up and see how everyone is coping I'm finding my OCD impossible at the moment... It's gotten pretty bad lately and I'm struggling to stay on top of the mountains of compulsions I've to "do" and I can't ignore the thoughts. I feel like I never have a break.
I'll be back I'm sure
Take care everyone x
Last edited by BorderlineFear : 06-04-2009 at 09:54 PM.
Reason: OCD *Rolls eyes*
I just wanted to say (not aimed at anyone specifically)- OCD has to have a large impact on your life for it to be OCD. I believe for mild ocd it's something like 1 hour a day absolute minimum on either/and obsessions and compulsions. It also has to cause extreme distress if you are stopped from these.
OCD is a lifetime of hell. It's not a few little quirks. Everyone is obsessive to compulsive to some extent, it's when it disorders your life that it becomes Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
Does anyone here have trichotillomania? I don't have OCD, but I've had this compulsion to pull out my hair since I was 4. It's quite embarrassing sometimes.
I used to have OCD... really full on when I was 14/15/16 and we traced it right back to when I was a kid but then at 16 I was put on Sertraline... I don't feel comfortable saying what my obsession was but t'was very embarassing!!! I brushed my room with a dustpan and brush every day, organized my CDs in A-Z order and if there was dust on the table then I'd have to start all over again and I'd cream my hands all the time! I made my bed about 5 times a day... The list goes on, I was a clean-freak!!!
I'm taking myself off the Sertraline now as the OCD is long gone (with CBT and hospital treatment etc.) But yeah, it don't help and all it does is make me feel like a goddamned robot!!
I just wanted to say (not aimed at anyone specifically)- OCD has to have a large impact on your life for it to be OCD. I believe for mild ocd it's something like 1 hour a day absolute minimum on either/and obsessions and compulsions. It also has to cause extreme distress if you are stopped from these.
OCD is a lifetime of hell. It's not a few little quirks. Everyone is obsessive to compulsive to some extent, it's when it disorders your life that it becomes Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
Exactly. You're 100% right. For example: One of many compulsions (or cluster of compulsions?) is I spend 2 hours every morning cleaning, 2 during the day and 2 hours cleaning before I go to sleep each day. I MUST or I fear my parents will die and THAT is distressing, of course. It is a lifetime of hell... And I wish none of us had to go through it.
And it's so tiring... SO tiring. I usually don't get to sleep till 4am and at times I can't sleep then (another problem) ... Wake up, lather, rinse and REPEAT. Each day... Non-stop. It's exhausting... And to be cleaning the kitchen, sitting room and bathroom again at 2am when I've slept 3 hours the night before... Is torture. I HAVE to do it... I can't just go to bed *Sigh* Not to mention how raw my hands are from washing... And the whole ritual that surrounds washing them... Time consuming... My knuckles are all split and they bleed... My hands look like those of a 90 year old... I can't bend my fingers at times because they are so sore and my knuckles will tear again...
Everything is done in multiples of 6... Everything... Even the number of times the mop touches the floor... When mopping my bedroom floor... The amount of times I spray the ground must be 72... Disinfectant spray doesn't last very long. Counting to 60 in my head, 6 times when I'm particularly distressed and have done everything else... Saying things twice... Because once is not "right" ... The URGE... The NEED to do these things is overwhelming, one I could NOT ignore... Order, fixing, touching, checking... It is draining
That's the tip of the iceberg
Sorry ... I'm ranting/rambling... I could go on forever
Last edited by BorderlineFear : 08-04-2009 at 12:12 PM.
Reason: More rambling sorry again
I can relate to a lot of the above and also struggle and find OCD very distressing and exhausting. I'm rarely asleep before 5am between checking doors, windows, locks, washing my hands continuously especially between having to touch different things. If I wash my hands in the bathroom then touch the handle to open the door I often need to repeat the washing and if I then go to kitchen it can be the same routine. It can last for hours on end. My hands are a mess also. I often find it difficult to leave the house and literally due to anxiety levels and 'bad thoughts' find it difficult socialising to the extent I dont really ever go out apart from work where people have noticed and it makes me more anxious because of late I've had fears and trouble hiding it. I've been off sick now for 3 months and I'm awaiting my psych apmt as well as councilling and CBT. I'm on clomipramine which is gradually being increased at the moment.
Sometimes my days are more mentally exhausting from my thoughts. I have routines I need to go through and certain things I need to say out loud so that the 'bad thought' doesn't happen or to try and distinguish it. I can often panic dependant on the thought that literally 'pops' into my head from god knows where. I find it difficult to open up and even as I type this have routines happening to stop anything bad from happening.
Anyway just thought I'd post as I can relate to how some of you feel. I don't tend to make posts or even reply very much and a lot of it due to the fears and anxities. Sometimes its just comforting to know your not alone.
I've had OCD for a few years now. Compulsions, obsessive thoughts, intrusive thoughts, however, I hardly do any of my checks anymore!!! That used to wear me out quite badly.
I'm not sure if this was really an OCD behaviour or not, but;
When I was younger (between 9 and 12ish) I used to have to touch things equally with my right and left hands. Especially if I knocked against something by accident with my hand I'd have to do the exact same to the other hand so they were 'fair.' If I did it too hard I'd have to the first one hard and the other soft, and THEN reverse that pattern, hit the first one hard, other soft, first soft, other hard, to mirror the pattern. Even then if my hands felt uneven I'd feel all twisted up inside, kind of nauseous. If it was really bad I might have to mirror that whole pattern again. It wasn't too much of a problem if it was just tapping the desk, but if I felt uneven from, say, walking into a doorframe, it was time consuming trying to balance mysel through a pattern of four of four, eight or sixteen taps :(
Didn't interfere with my life too too much except people thought I was "weird" and the compulsion was really unpleasant.
Thing is, when I'm stressed these days I feel the unbalancedness return and once I start trying to balance I can't stop. It's horrible.
Last edited by Silverbirch : 11-04-2009 at 09:58 PM.
Reason: missed stuff
Silverbirch I do the exact same thing. I have done all my life. When I'm walking, if I touch something... I mean absolutely everything has to fairly distributed. Only difference is it all has to be preferably 5 times, if not an odd number or a multiple of 5!
I have other things I have to do as well but this is probably the one I do the most during my day. And I HAVE to do it. Otherwise I feel so sick and something terrible will happen someone will die or something.
The last time I didn't keep up with all my compulsions, my brothers were in a car crash. They're ok, but that's only cos I did all of them the next day and every day since then. Mum tells me the universe doesn't rely on me counting to five and stuff...
if i wake up in the middle of the night i HAVE to check my body parts are still there count all my fingers and toes, if i miss count i have to get out of bed turn the light on and count 10 times just to make sure and then have to go back through my bedtime routine which is a pain because i HAVE to have the light off or down as low as possible have to have cold side of pillow up have to have curtains closed have to have the quilt tuncked under my feet and i have to have my pinky (teddy) in touching reach and have to lay on all sides of my body before i go to sleep.
i have only been on RYL for a couple weeks now and I decided to journey back through the old threads to see if an OCD thread had been started. and...looky what I found!
sorry if this thread was intentionally squashed. i could use a bit of support with my OCD lately.
Does anyone find that obsessions flare up seasonally? or same month of the year? March seems to always be a difficult time of year for me. My SI always starts back up and things get to be difficult again.
i have found that my medication has really made my intrusive thoughts manageable. i am not constantly being provoked by these thoughts/images. but...i get into this thought pattern that i am bad/evil and therefore must be punished. i cannot distinguish if this is OCDish thinking or just circumstantial. (due to past circumstances)
Compulsions have settled, and the mindset was doing okay... but now it appears it's struke me today and I have an overwhelming urge to confess and need reassurance and feel like an awful, horrible person for the things I need to confess and they are very obsessive and intrusive and well, it's extremely distressing...
I haven't been diagnosed with OCD I've never told anyone about my behaviours. I have certain things I check daily to be in order or arranged or straightened right and then if its been messed up by someone I get really upset because it makes me feel all wrong and like something bads gonna happen and then on really bad days I'll walk into a room and everything that isn't perfectly straight or arranged or ordered right jumps out at me and its really scary and it gets me really distressed and I worry that I wont have enough time to get everything just right. I haven't been shopping in more than a year (i know bad social anxiety) but whenever I do if the clothes aren't arranged right or whatever product the shop sells then I get really anxious about it and go round re-arranging it and its really embarrassing but I have to do it.
Amy x
'Cause I'll always remember you the same.
Oh eyes like wild flowers within demons of change ♥
Amy - sounds like that is OCD, and I'm sorry to hear it's limiting your life and causing you so much distress. Any chance you could tell your gp/ cpn? Might help to get some support for it, and they can't help until you tell them. I know it's hard, the nature of the disorder makes you feel ashamed and stuff of it, but it's not at all unusual
Quiet1 - yep I have a lot of mental compulsions. Making certain noises or consonent sounds, everything has to be the number 5, if not odd numbers, 4 is the worst number ever, I type things or write things out in my head, I repeat words all the time - the last two things are particularly disruptive when I'm trying to read as I have to keep stopping to give myself time to type/ repeat. I don't have a certain time of the year when things get worse, but certainly when I'm struggling more or under stress my OCD gets out of control. Ironic really seeing as it's a way to control things. And picking skin, I'm not sure. Do you feel that something terrible will happen if you don't do it? Or is it just a habit you do a lot? Glad that you found the thread, you are not alone
Does anyone get sometimes when they have to do something to another person? That was not at all explained very well. But I sometimes get where I have to push someone off a chair or slap someone, its always the same person and I always ask him if its okay if I do it and we are good mates and he knows I'm a little crazy so he doesn't mind and I don't hurt him but I can't get on with anything till I do it, it drives me insane because its just really wierd. I was just wondering whether that might be related or not.
Amy x
'Cause I'll always remember you the same.
Oh eyes like wild flowers within demons of change ♥
If it feels like you have to do it, like an urge to do it, and if it does prevent you from doing anything else - it may very well be related to OCD. Sounds like it, too.
I'm finding my OCD impossible at the moment... It's gotten pretty bad lately and I'm struggling to stay on top of the mountains of compulsions I've to "do" and I can't ignore the thoughts. I feel like I never have a break. 
xx
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