Triggering (Suicide) - Renamed: Damnation. ED Trigger.

[crazykat]

Really good hun :)

[The Stolen One]

good :)

[PaperClip]

hugs huni - would love to read more! xx

[Crayon,]

So this isn't all of it, not what i was hoping to post anyway, so the next chapter should be alot longer than this. But yeah this isn't all of my experience although most of it is. Tell me your thoughts and improvements please :)

I ran and ran, until my lungs hurt, my muscles ached and my head swirled. I slowed down and sat on a nearby fallen tree, I was in the bush, god knows where and had no intention of going home anytime soon. My head was still swirling and I tried to brace myself from falling off the tree, but my balance wasn’t good enough so I crashed into the ground, the sound bouncing off the bush around me. I lay there listening to the leaves rustling and the pounding of my heart against my chest, I wasn’t thinking at all, just looking. But then the destructive thoughts came back, anorexia was yelling at me again.

The following content has been hidden - Reason : Triggering ED.

You’re a FAT, UGLY BITCH. Look at you, JELLY LEGS; look at those thighs, LOOK AT THEM! You’re a DISGRACE, why don’t you just KILL YOURSELF already? GO ON, do it.

The voice died away but each word hit me like a mallet striking an oversized nail, over and over again the pain getting worse as the nail wedged deeper into my chest. The overwhelmed feeling was beginning to seep into my body and I wouldn’t allow it to happen, even when I was alone, there was no crying, so I began to run again.
But further down I had to stop, it felt like my heart was going to be ripped out of my body, my lungs as if they were contracting I was able to take in less and less air; even though I had stopped and stars began to pop up in my vision. I laid down to the side of the road-like path and concentrated on just maintaining my breathing and then I heard it, a car, I sat up too quickly and the stars returned more pronounced I tried to balance myself as the ute came into view, but I was shaky and couldn’t put my hand onto even ground. The last thing I remembered was seeing a face looking over me “stay with me” they said, but I couldn’t it seemed like an already distant dream.

[-Chelsey-]

damn that's fantastic

[crazykat]

Really good hun

[PaperClip]

squishes!!! well done huni!!

[Crayon,]

Writing the next part now, sorry about the wait between chapters, i have exams soon.

[The Stolen One]

looking forward to more (:

[Kuwairo]

I like this :)
Will be good to read more.

[Crayon,]

Okay so here's the next part, its a few days later than i suspected but i have exams next week so yeah, kinda busy at the moment.
This story isn't really mine anymore, its just taken this path.

Slowly I heard voices come back into the oblivion of time, then slowly my vision too. The voices saying, “you’ll be alright Hun just stay where you are, we’re going to get you to the hospital as soon as we can”. My head screamed back ‘NO’ as I opened my eyes; “no” I sputtered “not the hospital, anything but there”. I began to shake, it was so cold, I hadn’t realised before passing out.
“We have to, you just passed out. Okay we’re going to see if we can move you onto the back of the car, can you walk?” The voice asked. I still wasn’t able to distinguish between wether the voice was male or female.
“Yeah I’m fine” I replied quickly and swiftly rose to my feet, no wave of dizziness ran through me, I was indeed fine as I had said ‘strange’ I thought. “See” I smiled, “I’m fine. I just need to know which way is out, I know most paths and just lost track of where I was going today, sorry.”
“Okay”, someone emerged from behind the truck with a blanket in hand, it was a women’s voice “here’s a blanket hun, wrap it around you you’re going blue” she implied softly.
I was sitting down again now and could see it was dark; I needed to get home, before mum or anyone for that fact, noticed I was missing. “I want to go home” I whined. Thoughts suddenly burst into my head ‘can they see the scars? Oh geez, I hope they can’t, but of course they can see the fat. Why do I even have the blanket on? Look, teletubby right here’ I tried to shrug the blanket off but the woman wrapped it tighter around me.
“We need you to keep that on you, you’re going into shock, we need you to stay calm. Now can you tell us your name?” This frustrated me, the soft voice was almost as if she was suggesting if I got up that she would sit me right back down. Running was out of the option, so I sat.
“Teaghan, my names teaghan” I whispered.
“Okay teaghan, this time we’re going to help you up. No sudden moves on us and just let us bear most of your weight, we’re going to move you to the cab of the ute, so you’re out of the wind” this time it was the other voice, a male I had finally been able to determine, I didn’t respond, just let them take over.

Heading out of the bush my head lolled to one side, my eyes drooped only half aware of my surroundings, squeezed between two bodies and bumping up and down on a dirt road with a massive headache, wasn’t exactly my idea of heaven. But their bodies kept me warm for that journey.
“She’s awfully skinny Jen, or is it just me” the male questioned ‘Jen’, obviously thinking I had fallen asleep, maybe I had, maybe I was in that in between place I couldn’t really tell.
“She is Dave, but that’s nothing we can fix, it’s up to the paramedics. Oh by the way they said they’d meet us at the end of the track should slow down” she replied quietly.
My head screamed in protest ‘NO’ but my body was past that and I was once again heading into the blissful piece of darkness.

[xlaurenx]

Thats really good, love it , can't wait for more

[The Stolen One]

ooh well done :)

[crazykat]

Oooh I like :)

[espoir]

eeek more and im loving it! good luck with your exams too xxxxxx

[PaperClip]

huggles huni x x

[Crayon,]

Sorry about the long wait this time, i've finished exams but i feel sick halfway through them.. So right now i have no energy at all, ugh i feel horrible, i'm sorry guys. But i do have the next installment planned out in my head :)

[~Kaytee~]

Take your time :) I really like it so can't wait to read more *hugs*

[crazykat]

Its ok sweetie take your time, I hope your feeling better *hugs*

[Crayon,]

I'm writing more now, this part is hard, i'm writing about a person I love dearly and seeing them vulnerable. I'm sorry if its not submitted tonight but it should be..