What i dont understand is, the threads that i have seen being made about chat members not supporting etc, are all by people that continue to go back to chat and do the same thing everytime.
If that makes sense.
If something happens like that in real life, what do you do? You stay away.
Would it not just be easier if the people that were unhappy with chat, stopped going in there?
I know that someone will tell me this is unfair or something because this is letsallhatechatregulars month. But i thought i'd make the suggestion anyway.
Susan, I would NEVER suggest that the regulars are not supportive in chat. The goal of this thread is to raise the awareness that support is just not always available. We're all human, we have our own problems to cope with.
I know what you mean Bee, which is why the main focus of this thread is to raise awareness of certain behaviours that are counterproductive and also to make people understand that support is amazing, but can't always be available.
I think a lot of people forget too often that having a facility like RYL is a real privilege. Having such a gigantic network of friends and support is a tool that is crucial to the recovery process or just staying alive. Instead of bitching about how RYL sucks, I think a lot of people need to take a step back and realise just how much is available to them, even if it's sometimes not up to their standards.
And Bee, you have a valid point... but RYL is a choice. If some people want to keep using chat in the same way they always use it, it's up to them. I just don't think their support network is going to be as good. Ultimately, the negative atmosphere they set in their life is their problem too.
I think this is where Colin's idea came from I think. I think those conversations SHOULD be able to take place in the general rooms which is why I quite liked Irene's suggestion of a safe room for those who want to talk generally but not about anything which could potentially trigger them.
Sophie.x
Last edited by Sooty : 15-03-2009 at 11:22 PM.
Soon... Now will be then...Today will be yesterday... Present will be past...And thought will be memory... So...Live for the future! Make your future how you want it!
Daisy, I know you're not saying that. I really do appreciate everyone who helps out.
My husband is my best friend.
In forgiving others, we are not exonerating them. They may not deserve exoneration. Rather, in forgiving others we are giving up our anger over the fact that what happened is not what "should" have happened or that our life is not the way it "should" have been.
I think this is where Collin's idea came from I think. I think those conversations SHOULD be able to take place in the general rooms which is why I quite liked Irene's suggestion of a safe room for those who want to talk generally but not about anything which could potentially trigger them.
Sophie.x
QFT
It is sometimes a real problem with this. For example members with ED's sometimes get triggered talking about food. And people always talk about food, just what they're having for tea, what they wish they had in etc. it's just a normal part of conversation. And a safe room seems to protect members who are ultra vulnerable at that specific moment without enforcing restrictions on everyone else on something that many people wouldn't even think twice about talking about. Ditto for relationship talk, some news items etc.
Can I just say here that I am absolutely so happy and proud of how serious chat has run tonight. It's had 15+ people in it all night and everyone has been very welcoming and very supportive. Chat has run so smoothly without tension and arguments. It's a complete contrast to last night and it's an absolute delight to read chat when conversations are so constructive and helpful. :) Excellent. I just love nights like this when serious chat runs to fulfil it's role within RYL.
YAY for chatters tonight.
Sophie.x
Soon... Now will be then...Today will be yesterday... Present will be past...And thought will be memory... So...Live for the future! Make your future how you want it!
I am so tempted to save the chat log and post it here. Everyone I've seen ask for support has had response from someone else in the room. Support ideas and advice are being bounced around the room to gain many different perspectives from different people and ARGH it's so great. I'm totally not getting over passionate for chat O_o
Sophie.x
Soon... Now will be then...Today will be yesterday... Present will be past...And thought will be memory... So...Live for the future! Make your future how you want it!
Maybe have a few mods to mod it? some who are up at different times. probably a dumb idea, but yeah...
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just wanted to say, i'd never really used chat before last night (it scares me!!), but last night i went into the serious room and people there were great =D
Also I agree Irene. The nature of chat will be much more clear cut as to what is going to be acceptable and what is not in a 'safe room'.
Sophie.x
Soon... Now will be then...Today will be yesterday... Present will be past...And thought will be memory... So...Live for the future! Make your future how you want it!
couldn't you have a list of things that are banned, but then have an extra bit "If anyone in the safe room says that what you are talking about triggers them then please refrain from mentioning it". That way you cover all sorts of weird things that trigger different people.
I still like the idea of a safe room more than that of a free room, because I can see the latter turning into a nightmare quickly.
The way I could imagine it, is having a safe room where as soon as someone says the topic is triggering, it has to change - no arguments, no buts, no "but in the rules it says..." - what do you think?
Face your life
Its pain, its pleasure
Leave no path untaken
As long as theres a mod in there i think it would be pretty easy to moderate. there wouldnt be any messing around so to speak it could be one strike and your out kinda thing. instant kicking an all that.
