at the end of the day i understand that mods have lives tooo but when u look at it there is like 4 on at once then none. there should be a scheldual that ensures theres someone here at all times, after all you are trying to run a help website. and my point exactly this site is going down the plug hole at the moment because of things like that situation, people tip sharing, people telling others to do what they want not even doing what we are all here to do and that is to help one and other i think its time people put there minds in to helping not dissing and also the chat mods should certainly pay more attention to what is going on or other wise everybody from the site will have to live with the fact someone is dead because of poor running
sorry to say it but this is where its going
i do have a suggestion when people sign up you should ask them for some details eg postal or zip code so at least when someone does try to kill themelves the police and ambulance stand a better chance of finding them
I don't believe the site is going down the plug hole at all. It would be impossible to set a schedule so there are mods on chat 24/7 - we are not paid for this, it is volunteering - we aren't going to alter our (very busy) lives in order to make sure chat is uniformly modded. However we are looking into recruiting more mods to solve the problem of the chat rooms being under modded at certain times.
I resent the assertion that it would be our fault if someone died -and that it would be down to this site being 'poorly run' - it is not our responsibility if someone chooses to end their life. Having a data base of details I believe will not help and open us to wasting the emergency services time (and being accordingly prosecuted for it) and that is before we get into the ramifications of the data protection act (UK).
sorry attention seeking!!!! that is totally uncalled for. u should never look at someone as attention seeking how would u feel if someone thought that of u?????
To be honest, if i had taken an OD, and really didnt want any medical help, or to try and be 'saved' the last thing i would do is tell a room for of strangers. I think behaviour like that is for effect, for a person to feel like others care about them.
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at the end of the day i understand that mods have lives tooo but when u look at it there is like 4 on at once then none. there should be a scheldual that ensures theres someone here at all times, after all you are trying to run a help website.
thats an impossible thing to ask.. what if a mod cant get online for a few days because their internet is down, what if they went away on holiday, what if they needed a break from RYL too. there are people here 24/7 because of time zones, and i dont think, although i couldnt be wrong, that we have mods here from every time zone.
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and my point exactly this site is going down the plug hole at the moment
no its not, i think some members are expecting more than RYL can feasably give.
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because of things like that situation, people tip sharing,
post report. The mods can not magically see every single thing that has been written, they need members help.
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people telling others to do what they want not even doing what we are all here to do and that is to help one and other
Not everyone is here to help others, some people are here as a distraction, or because their friends are here. and its frustrating if youre giving someone good advice and they refuse to heed it.
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i think its time people put there minds in to helping not dissing and also the chat mods should certainly pay more attention to what is going on or other wise everybody from the site will have to live with the fact someone is dead because of poor running
i think that this thread that you have created is one huge 'diss' perhaps you should put your time and effort into helping others instead of publicly critising people that are doing the best they can, for people like you.
How dare you say it will be the mods fault if someone dies? if a person wants to kill themselves, they'll do it, no matter what anyone says.
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sorry to say it but this is where its going
i do have a suggestion when people sign up you should ask them for some details eg postal or zip code so at least when someone does try to kill themelves the police and ambulance stand a better chance of finding them
it is no one on this websites job to keep tabs of other people. This is a help website.. its not a doctors surgery, its not the local nhs, its a website. People here cant act as peoples guardians and it cant help people that dont want to be helped.
If anything i would say this site is getting better. yes it s taking time but it is getting there. You can't blame the mods if someone chooses to kill themselfs. The mods have done a great job and they are not to blame if someone decided to end it. If RYL did what you said and took peoples post codes and details incase i end up doing something that requires me to go to A&E (one i would hate the mods doing it as it's MY choice to go) and second i would leave the site faster than a speeding bullet and i feel i wouldn't be alone in that. I have used RYL for a long time and have always liked my idenity to bee kept under wraps with only a couple of members with my number and even less knowing my name. RYL could also end up in trouble if the mods had are details saw that someone needed an ambulance so called one but when the ambulance got there it was someone seeking attention, then the fall back on RYL would be the end of the site and the end of a lot hope for some of it's members in their recovery. No matter how you look at it some members rely on ryl as the main source of recovery before they end up seeking professional help and if it ended up being lost because they called an ambu;ance on a wim and it was a false alarm then where would the members be who used the site for what it was made for?
RYL could also end up in trouble if the mods had are details saw that someone needed an ambulance so called one but when the ambulance got there it was someone seeking attention, then the fall back on RYL would be the end of the site and the end of a lot hope for some of it's members in their recovery.
thats a good point, how could you phone the emergency services without absolutely knowing for sure the person needed it, imagine if the ambulance got there and it was for nothing, and someone else died because the services werent there instead.
I am going to add another viewpoint to this list. If I OD, I do not do it for the attention, I do it because I have hit a crash and am suicidally depressive.. that is part of my conditition. If I need the medical help, I will seek it. If I mention it on RYL it is because someone has asked me how I am and I am making an effort to actually be honest and state how I am and not blag the 'I am fine' that I use everywhere else in life. I am stating it for the emotional side, not for attention, not for someone to tell me to go to a&e, nor is it a lie or for effects. The Mods are not to blame for that, and I do not expect anyone to be able to help me. It nice to not be immiately shouted at or told I should not do that unless I want to die. Truth is, at those moments, I do want to die. I have wanted to, many times. It is people on RYL and my boyfriend that have saved my life, many times by simply being there and being emotional support when I need it. I blame no one for it. If you are not well enough to support, then say so. Dont attack me, or the mods, for the fact that in that moment I may need support. My extremes of mood are not rational, sometimes I need another person to explain the truth of the matter to me, yes, once or twice that has been through RYL - most of the time though, it is after the fact.
Key points: RYL is a support site, not a crisis line or NHS Direct. All people here can do is offer support. If you have done that, that is all you can be expected to do. Whether you are a mod, or a member.
Secondly: Stop attacking people. Stop blaming the mods. Stop attacking people for feeling bad and wanting to die, or ODing or feeling irrational. It has happened to all of us at some point. We should be helping, not telling off.
Lastly: I know some people do attention seek. BUT, dont accuse the majority on the basis of what a small minority has done. Some of us are in genuine trouble and feeling genuie fear, pain, anxiety or needs for tears, hugs and support. I consider myself amongst those that every once in a while want a hug, or somewhere where we will NOT be judged for being honest. Please, guys, let that be RYL.
If the Human brain were so simple that we could understand it, we would be so simple that we wouldn't.
^^ youre post is wonderfully worded.. can i just make one point though. You said that when you od, and you need medical help you get it.
I know in the past i have taken mini ods, and not got medical attention, but then havent told anyone i had od'd either.
I think the attention seeking comments were directed towards people who say they have taken an od, and that they need help/medical attention, but then refuse to accept or take any logical advice that is being given to them.
It can be pretty tiring when people are saying 'oh im feeling so dizzy and weak.. i dont want to die help me' and you suggest they wake someone up in the house, or that they ask a friend to take them to hospital, or that they phone an ambulance, and they reply with 'no i cant do any of those things, no one can know'
YES! This has happened to me so many times and its just exhausting spending hours talking to someone while they tell you in detail how they are od'ing and how they feel sick etc. You give them advice they refuse to take it over and over again and its like well fine then what do you expect me to do. you can do what you want but I am not going to listen to it and waste my time which could be spent on someone who is actually going to listen to me and take a bit of responsibility for themsleves..
You're entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are.
It does make sense. I seek medical advice for anything over the recommended daily maximum. I am seeing professionals and I appreciate sometimes people will suggest I seek professional help.
I do not understand when people say they can not get help, but I do know that when I am in a extreme mood (high or low) I am not rational and maybe it is the same for them... they are not thinking about it rationally. Sadly, you are not likely to take advice from a stranger in those moments. I tend to need to be told by people I know. Like my bf, or friends I know on RYL.
If the Human brain were so simple that we could understand it, we would be so simple that we wouldn't.
well actually i did get someone help some people just dont care here and actually i am not expecting overly impossible things and also i do not come here for help i help others, and actually has anyone here nearly died because of od'ing????? anyone being told they would surley die? anyone had liver failure. if u had ud understand at the end of the day no matter what i say im not going to get thru to u people i am not pinning plame on anyone only stating the obvious, but look at thisa how will u all feel when there is no ryl left????? changes need to happen otherwise the site could be closed down. and no i am not threatning to try get the site closed down as i think it is good for people when its going by the books, and as i said i do appreciate that mods have lives tooo, but at the end of the day the site can not rely on voulenteers alone it needs people who are going to be here regularly at set times, in conjunction with each other. at the end of the day i am not here to be bullied by a bunch of people i dont know so i no say farewell i am no longer going to use this site, at the end of the day its going to end up killing someone and i dont want it to be me, bye
O.o okay i don't go into chat much at all but like... WTF! Why would there be no ryl left? It's a support site. The mods have NO right to ask for addresses and sh*t when people sign up. I know I wouldn't have signed up if that was how it was.
And yes, i've almost died from an overdose and doctors are baffled as to why I survived. But what the hell does that have to do with anything?
Stating the obvious? How's that? It says your join date is 2007... so that's 2 years you've been on a site that is run by volunteers... it's been going pretty damn well for longer than that.
This site is going to kill someone becasue it's run by volunteers? At the end of the day, each person is responsible for their own life and if they don't want to take the advice that is given, then that is their own choice. It is sad but it has no bearing on this site at all.
No one has bullied you. You've done a damn good job of coming in, criticising everything and everyone and blaming people for stuff that they have no control over.
It's a support site, not a babysitting service.
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
This is a support community not service or a help line.
This place is for people who are affected by mental illness/self harm to support and recieve support from others who are affected. If people want the help you are expecting from here, they should go to other places, life lines, samaritans, and er, perhaps the emergency room at the hospital?
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and actually has anyone here nearly died because of od'ing????? anyone being told they would surley die? anyone had liver failure
Um, What has this got to do with anything? (As Jess already said) but yes.
Please, this is stupid.
Last edited by bleeding black : 14-03-2009 at 01:54 AM.
Reason: Spelling mistake
This thread is way more dramatic than it needed to be.
Yes, everyone gets the point that it is frustrating when people say they've OD'd and then refuse help, but mental illness does tend to bring a lot of tendencies that do frustrate people.(I worded that wrong)
I don't think that a few people doing this type of thing and it not being possible to make sure they're safe (and let's be honest, that is probably what the majority are craving, attention and the feeling that people care) means that this website is any less of a good and helpful place.
If someone wants to do something then i dont think that anyone else really has the right to stop them, and if they do decide they made a mistake then its pretty obvious what they need to do in order to get help.
(I'm really not trying to sound like i think that everyone who says they've OD'd IS attention seeking, im just focusing on that particular situation)
Mmmm.
I don't make much sense and i dont post much, but...yeah.
Hey. im talking to I still bleed for you on msn now. She wants me to tell you that she's left Ryl so theirs no point replying to this thread and since shes left you have what you wanted, and shes not going to reply because she thinks your being childish and are emotional bullys. She also wants me to tell you that.
"im not going to waste my time over there stupid idotic thinking at the end of the day they are being prejudice towards everyone, some support network when they are calling people attention seekers,"
Yet...she told you to say it on here.
I wonder why someone would do that?
I'm sure someone will say what im thinking, dont feel like being a bitch anymore tonight.
The First Aid Advisors have encountered people numerous times that have hurt themselves some how and are difficult to assist. Many people panic right after the initial incident and reach out. Once the initial panic subsides about the incident they start to worry about things like what the hospital might do, what their doctor/parents/friends might say etc. They become resitant to help becuase they want to convince themselves that everything is ok, that they don't really need help, and that whatever they did isn't serious. They may also decide they are ok with what they have done and the potential consequences.
I've delt with enough of these people while I've been on RYL that I know how incredibly frustrating it can be. It can make you feel very helpless and mad that the person won't just get help.
The Forum Mods, Chat Mods and First Aid Advisors can not do anything more than anyone else can.
I know this isn't necessarily what anyone wants to hear, but it's true, and people need to keep it in mind.
Yes, it is important for people to get the help they need, but the mods are not doctors, nurses, counselors, or psychologists. They can't force people to get help. RYL is a support website. Everyone has personal responsibility for what they do off RYL. If someone chooses to hurt themselves RYL does not have a legal responsibility to call the police and force them to get help.
The mods are here to enforce the rules. They are not here to force people to get help. What you are suggesting the mods do is a whole additional level of assistance that RYL really isn't designed to offer.
Well it breaks my heart to see you this way,
The beauty in life, where's it gone?
And somebody told me you were doing okay,
Somehow I guess they were wrong.
this thread makes me sad. It also makes me sad that you cant take on board anything we say and youre determined to find fault.
There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you.
But there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.
I aint no abacus but you can count on me.
Liv, some people are just so determined that they always have to be right thatthey don't want to listen. you've made great points and it's plain ignorance that someone wont take that on board. Don't let someones ignorance make you sad.
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
