I think you only have to look at the large number of people who have been disowned, abandoned, put through hell by either themselves or others around them, to know that no one makes the choice to do that.
People struggle with accepting their sexuality every day, I don't think it's a choice.
This.
I'm almost afraid to bring up Yukio Mishima again but in this case its relevant. He was gay, and he HATED himself for it. If he could choose to be straight, he certainly would have.
I don't think that you can change it at will... you can try, but you'll only be lying to yourself...
And this.
Many people (mainly homosexuals who grew up being told homosexuality was "wrong" and heterosexuality was "right") have tried to "switch" sexuality and it made them miserable, because they were trying to be something they weren't. Same with straight women who have a bad experience with men and experiment with women. They might enjoy it for a while but ultimately they will go back to men.
When I became aware of my own bisexuality a few years ago, I was very uncomfortable with it, because I had always believed myself to be straight. I didn't see anything wrong with being bi, but it scared me. So I tried to "stay straight." But in the end I just accepted it, and now I'm bisexual and proud.
It depends... Some people definitely choose it, I know some, and some just are how they are. Or like my one gay friend, he's gay, but he vamps it up SO much, like... He's just flaming. Unnaturally so... It's how he likes to be.
You know? I don't think you can DECIDE who you're attracted to really, but you can alter how people perceive you.
I chose other, due to fact some religions or parents choices don't believe in homosexuality.
I think whatever people decide their sexuality is, is upto them and no matter what religion they are or whatever their parents want, it's the persons happiness that matters.
Some people are straight at first and may turn homosexual after realising what their sexuality is.
I know I'm straight and I doubt that will change, sorry girls. ;)
I think you only have to look at the large number of people who have been disowned, abandoned, put through hell by either themselves or others around them, to know that no one makes the choice to do that.
People struggle with accepting their sexuality every day, I don't think it's a choice.
That is so true. I don't think I would ever have suffered the problems I did with depression, SI, etc if it wasn't for my sexuality and the discrimination I encountered in the past because of it. Even now, as an adult, I'm still fearing rejection from certain family members because of it. So no, I do not think that sexuality is a choice. If it were, I would have changed it a long time ago and spared myself a few year's worth of misery.
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.
- Margaret Mead
I thought I would come back and clarify what I meant when I said yes and no. :)
I think in most cases it's not a choice what sexuality you are. You are gay or you aren't. That sort of thing. But I know, personally, that I choose to be straight, I could have 'gone the other way' so to speak. But I chose to be straight. I also know people who have decided to be homosexual after an experience with someone of the opposite sex has made them hate men. But that was a choice. It was a choice that was driven by an action but it's still a choice.
I guess it depends on what you define as someones sexuality. Someone can be 'straight' but still sleep with people of the same sex and say that's the way they swing. But then someone can be homosexual and sleep with people of the opposite sex. I think people can choose in some cases. But in many they can't.
I don't know if that makes any sense at all >.<
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
I think in most cases it's not a choice what sexuality you are. You are gay or you aren't. That sort of thing. But I know, personally, that I choose to be straight, I could have 'gone the other way' so to speak. But I chose to be straight. I also know people who have decided to be homosexual after an experience with someone of the opposite sex has made them hate men. But that was a choice. It was a choice that was driven by an action but it's still a choice.
Homosexual ACTS are choices, but homosexuality ITSELF isn't. A person can choose to engage in homsexual acts, but be straight (similarly, anyone could potentially choose to sleep with someone they don't find attractive, regardless of gender or sexuality... whether its for money or hatred of the opposite sex).
I've never so much as kissed another man, but I know in my heart I am bisexual.
I understand what you mean, but if you think about it, its like saying all virgins are asexual.
You can choose which gender you sleep with, but not which gender you find sexually attractive. Thats inborn.
i think all people are born without sexuality.
but it is engrained within us through socialisation/general growing up/etc & the vast majority of those experiences can not be controlled and are not chosen.
but i still chose yes in the poll because i meant that there is a choice in that i believe that a person throughout their whole life could be "made" into a sexuality.
Would you choose something that makes people hate you for existing?
No.
however, i do think there's choise in how people express themselves.
it's less unacceptable to be 'gay', so more people are willing to accept themselves for who they are, and more people are comfertable with the fact that it's pretty unlikely for someoen to be totally straight (or gay for that matter).
you don't chose what you are
you choose how you express it (if at all)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jessiwuzzle Lives
I thought I would come back and clarify what I meant when I said yes and no. :)
I think in most cases it's not a choice what sexuality you are. You are gay or you aren't. That sort of thing. But I know, personally, that I choose to be straight, I could have 'gone the other way' so to speak. But I chose to be straight. I also know people who have decided to be homosexual after an experience with someone of the opposite sex has made them hate men. But that was a choice. It was a choice that was driven by an action but it's still a choice.
I guess it depends on what you define as someones sexuality. Someone can be 'straight' but still sleep with people of the same sex and say that's the way they swing. But then someone can be homosexual and sleep with people of the opposite sex. I think people can choose in some cases. But in many they can't.
I don't know if that makes any sense at all >.<
Er...
have you ever heard of the term bisexual?
Sounds about right, could go either way. but you choose to just be with boys, making you 'choose' to be 'straight'.
Last edited by flying[star] : 10-03-2009 at 01:57 AM.
Reason: i double posted.. sorize
I don't think sexuality is a choice. In my view, you are born being attracted to either men or women...or both as the case may be. The human being is a bisexual creature by nature, but the laws of attraction take place in genetics. I know that a lot of religion says that a person has complete control over their sexuality, which is kind of ridiculous when you see how many people change who they are just to satisfy the opinion of another.
I'd hate to say...but the subject of whether or not sexuality is a choice...kind of follows the age-old question: Which came first...the chicken or the egg?
At least that is how I see it. :/
Insight on humanity
I think I might be addicted to Domo-kun. "Let's go to Tokyo!" Me:"Tokyo? But what about Japan?" "Mer, you idiot...Tokyo is in Japan." Me:"Really? Since when? OH...damn it..." "How the hell do you have an IQ over 170?" Me:"Oh, shut it!"
i think all people are born without sexuality.
but it is engrained within us through socialisation/general growing up/etc & the vast majority of those experiences can not be controlled and are not chosen.
i'm quoting you cause i really like how you said what you said *nods*
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
no offence guys, but to say that it is purely social conditioning is a difficult case to make when you start looking at the studies that have been done on it, and to my mind it can be very easy to say well "they were brought up in an enviroment that turned them gay" without fuly assessing what a "gay" enviroment is.
There are still people who argue for social factors as being the key cause of it, but the evidence, to my mind at least, weighs up quite heavily in favour of biological explanations. Note that when I say biological I'm not saying genetic, things can be biological and environmental at the same time.
Here's two wikipeida articles on the subject, one arguing for environmental factors, one biological (although, the enviromental one should be labelled as social...)
Random radio ___________This spiral
Static on tv ____________Has worn a groove so deep
Losing count of _________Can’t climb out
All the days and weeks ___Pathetic, painful need
I believe you no less choose to be gay as you do to be straight. It is just the way you feel. You are attracted to who you are attracted to, I don't think you can make yourself feel drawn to any particular gender.
Attraction is a very personal thing. What one person sees as attractive, another person may not. It's not a choice to see someone as beautiful or sexy or kind or whatever. It is your perception of that person. I won't pretend to know what these perceptions are based on...could be innate, could be conditioned. Who knows? But it certainly isn't a concious choice.
And just as a thought...how can you choose to be straight or gay? I mean, to choose would imply you either know what both is like or know what neither is like and are therefore 'picking your path'. It would imply you had no preference to begin with so where would the 'choice' come from.
i think it is inbuilt, i mean going out with guys just makes me feel plain awkward, but at the same time I was in denial for so long i've kinda learned to overlook that.
you can choose to be with who you want, but inside you know what you are, there will be something telling you
at least thats how it was for me
I know what ya mean.
I want to kiss the bottom of the ocean before I burst through its surface into the sunlight, otherwise I will always be wondering about what was left unseen at the bottom
i'm tired of chasing my dreams. i'm just gonna ask where they're going, and hook up with them later.
I think we're discussing choice here to be an active, aware thing. Which perhaps isn't always the case. It's very possible that decisions are made subconciously.
I don't know. I kind-of like to believe that when we are born, our personalities and actions are blank boards to work from. But, I'm too convinced that our biology makes up so much of us that we don't even have free will, anyway.
Everything is a choice. You can take the most heterosexual men, make them grow up in a different envoirment and they'll come out as flamboyantly gay as ever.
So many things influence how we make decisions, it's not just "Oh, I'll be gay now". It's our enviorment, it's the people around us... most of our decisions are made in our subconcious, to a level we can't recognise... and instead people say it's a genetic predisposition to be gay.
It's like owning up to fate, believing we're something from the moment we're born. We're a blank slate.
The only reason people believe it isn't a choice is because we don't entirely make the decision, so many things around us do. But not to the extent that we could ever be born with it... or change it.
Okay, explain how we get people who are gay, but come from totally homophic enviroments where they're practiclly killed for who they are?
That could be rebellion, if we're going down that route.
Growing up in an environment that disapproves, even very strongly, of something, doesn't mean that you don't choose to adhere to it - think of families that are really strict on drugs/alcohol, and the likelihood of that person going on to develop a drug/alcohol problem, or even just do it to piss parents off.
I'm not saying that people become gay to piss parents off... Just that being raised in a disapproving environment doesn't mean that somebody isn't going to do something.
Oh - and yes, animals have been known to exhibit homosexual behaviour. That doesn't automatically mean it's not a choice in humans, though - it just means that there is some evidence that animals engage in similar behaviours.
Insight on humanity
