Triggering (Suicide) - they're going to **** me over

[Trucktastic]

Oh gods Babe I wish I could help you.

I don't really have anything to say that could help, even "take a few deep breaths and keep calm" is going to sound crap.

Can you're wife give you a couple of pills to help, rather than a lot? Will that help? Or not?

But whatever happens, please take care.

Loz x

[airwolf282]

I don't know if this is better or worse but they ****ed up my appoitment and it needs to be rescheduled. They wanted me to do the assessment over the phone with their psychologist and I said no way. I want my wife to be present in case I have a panic attack or I become more unsafe from it. She also has documents from doctors explaining that I can't simply go job hunting again without assistance because I have been in hospital several times over the last year and employers don't look kindly upon that. I could only do a few hours per week because I'm starting part time study soon too and it would keep me under the 15 hours maximum per week. I can't do any more than that on the pension and more than that would do me harm anyway, I'm not well enough for that. If Centrelink can refer me to an agency, hopefully I can get a few hours per week of on the job experiece while I'm studying my course over the next couple of years........I believe that would give my chances of finding the right job for me a real boost. The only hope is to get the help from an agency that helps people with disabilities including MI because they can liase with employers and provide incentives for them to take on a person with a disability. I would hope to get a good stable job, like in a gov't department where they can't just sack someone at the drop of a hat. That would be my ultimate goal in the future. They said my pension wouldn't be affected by the outcome of the assessment but I have a hard time believing that, Centrelink's staff can be very unfriendly and often make mistakes. Besides that I can't survive if they just throw me on the dole and tell me to take the first job that comes up because that would be a very dangerous thing to do with my condition. And besides that, the constant rejections would surely cause me to start harming myself again or worse.

Oh Nathan I've been trying to get on all morning. But my boyfriends computer has completely grrrrrrr and has a virus. I finally got my laptop battery so I'm on now. When is the next appt? Is it still in person after you said no?

I'm glad they've said your pension won't change but I do know what you mean. They do make mistakes. My boyfriend is still paying them back from a mistake THEY made, I think it was 2 years ago now. Thing is, a few months ago we were told no it's ok, we'll take care of it, you don't need to worry about it. He gets back on c/l (coz he lost his job) and he has to pay them back GRRRR.

Anyways, my boyfriend is through Centacare. He has MI as well and they are really lovely people so hopefully you can get referred to them (if you have them down there?). If not, I'm sure you will get referred to another good agency. Most people in them are very good (that I have come across).

Plus it sounds like you have plenty of evidence to show you that you CAN'T look for work. And the fact you have goals is good, not sure how relevant this is but I did get referred to CRS after I had a number of weeks off leave and c/l wanted me to look work. Thing is, I was in the middle of moving and ready to start uni so they let me off. I have every hope that it is going to go well. I know it doesn't feel like it, but please try not to dwell too much on the 'what if I have a panic attack' etc. Try to keep your mind of it. It is all going to be ok :D

[airwolf282]

thanks katie. i haven't heard from them about a new appointment they said they would make a new one, as i requested......in person and with my wife present.

[ravynsoul]

hope they have the new appointment set up soon for you... can you keep bugging them until they do?

[archer one]

You CAN do this. It may feel pointless but keep bugging them until you have the new appointment and your wife to be there. It will work out.