I was afraid to post in the first aid board becasue I was going to be ripped to shreds. But I PM'd the faa members and then a friend helped me word my replies in a way that there was no possible way someone could abuse me without being completely out of line. *shrugs*
That's also probably the case with the current 'discussion'. Lots of people are afraid that if they say they like it, then the ones who don't like ti are going to have a go at them. Generally the ones who've started a debate/argument feel very strongly about it and when someone disagrees it can set off a firecracker in their pants. So lots of people don't reply.
But also, lots of people just don't have a problem. it's not occured to them that it needs to change or they just don't care.
It is a little upsetting to see arguments (and lots of the 'discussions' have turned into arguments) in a board that is supposed to be fun. So maybe keeping them to f&c is the way to go *nods*
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
this board isn't meant to be fun! that is fun & distractions. this board is meant to be GENERAL, as in everyday-conversation, it can be fun, it can be depressing as hell, it can be a discussion, it can be anything (as long as it's not triggering, i guess).
ok i don't know what i've been missing.
i've been on here for over 2yrs now and i get scared to reply most of the time now incase i get ripped apart and its not fair.
" my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never, never leave you during your times of trials and suffering. When you see only one set of footprints it was then that I carried you" you were carried out of are lifes into the next and when its my time to leave this life I know i will be carried into the next life with you.
I wish i had my world complete again.
'Can we protend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars, i could really use a wish right now' BoB
Unfortunately, I can't make it fair. I know how hard it is to reply, maybe start of slow if you're afraid and get someone else to post your reply for you and then if it's received well then you can post yoruself? Sorry hon
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
^ it's not your fault.
i think im just going to post what i think and feel and see wha happenes.
" my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never, never leave you during your times of trials and suffering. When you see only one set of footprints it was then that I carried you" you were carried out of are lifes into the next and when its my time to leave this life I know i will be carried into the next life with you.
I wish i had my world complete again.
'Can we protend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars, i could really use a wish right now' BoB
I think that people are hypersensitive in some cases because they have been personally attacked in a debate before and at times in a thread some people are fighting while others are trying to debate.
Well it breaks my heart to see you this way,
The beauty in life, where's it gone?
And somebody told me you were doing okay,
Somehow I guess they were wrong.
^ it's not your fault.
i think im just going to post what i think and feel and see wha happenes.
Go for it :)
I think the problem is, that some people don't know the difference to a debate and an argument. Like Aidey said, some people will be trying to debate and others will be arguing. Someone will make a valid point and another person will rip them to shreds just becasue they can. It's like.. highschool debating. When you're in year 7. you have no skill and generally end up basically taking the mickey out of the other person and making them feel terrible. But as you get older you get more skilled and start debating and stop arguing and i think that's what has happened here. People make a point or start a debate but when someone gives fully plausible reasons as to why that shouldn't happen they get pissed off and rip them to shreds or mock them and make them cry.
I have no objection to a good debate. But for a good debate to work, the people who have raised the original point need to be able to accept that they could be wrong. Otherwise it's nto gonna get anywhere!
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
People post opinions. People disagree.
No one gets 'shot down' there are just people who disagree with you.
There is no 'pack mentality' either. Just some people who happen to disagree with you.
I don't really hesitate to voice my thoughts, I'm not scared of peoples reactions and I know that there is always someone who agrees with me but may be scared to say what they really think. There is nothing wrong with being cautious either.
I just think a lot of people can't grasp the concept of a disagreement and a heated discussion. Just because I disagree with you doesn't mean I'm being aggressive, or shooting you down and vice versa.
I love threads full of opinion sharing and disagreements. I like to voice my thoughts and why I think them, And even more than that, I like to here other peoples thoughts because they're different to mine, and why they think them. Then I like to reply to why I think that's wrong, or why I disagree.
Y'know... have a proper discussion. A debate. Instead of people claiming personal attacks and 'pack mentality' and whatever else when a few people dare to disagree with them.
Clearly, I'm just venting about certain peoples conduct in other threads, which isn't too good, bu it's not flaming or anything else. I just... can't stand when people can't handle being disagreed with. When a few people express thoughts or opinions differing to your own, it's called a disagreement, or a debate. It is NOT 'ripping you apart' or 'ripping you to shreds' THAT would probably entail a whole load of vulgar, unecessary, hurtful insults that, I'm sure, no one here would lower themselves to. So please stop implying you were getting 'ripped to shreds' because I find it pretty insulting, no one was attacking you.
Anyway, I've finished venting.
There haven't been too many arguments. But I think the majority of arguments that took place, should have taken place. They weren't stupid or wrong. They were about things that genuinely concerned people, whether that be a certain board or the what they think of RYL as a whole. They were all valid and brought up good points.
I have no objection to a good debate. But for a good debate to work, the people who have raised the original point need to be able to accept that they could be wrong. Otherwise it's nto gonna get anywhere!
No. Both sides need to be prepared to admit that they're wrong.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Aidey~
I think that people are hypersensitive in some cases because they have been personally attacked in a debate before and at times in a thread some people are fighting while others are trying to debate.
People post opinions. People disagree.
No one gets 'shot down' there are just people who disagree with you.
There is no 'pack mentality' either. Just some people who happen to disagree with you.
I don't really hesitate to voice my thoughts, I'm not scared of peoples reactions and I know that there is always someone who agrees with me but may be scared to say what they really think. There is nothing wrong with being cautious either.
I just think a lot of people can't grasp the concept of a disagreement and a heated discussion. Just because I disagree with you doesn't mean I'm being aggressive, or shooting you down and vice versa.
I love threads full of opinion sharing and disagreements. I like to voice my thoughts and why I think them, And even more than that, I like to here other peoples thoughts because they're different to mine, and why they think them. Then I like to reply to why I think that's wrong, or why I disagree.
Y'know... have a proper discussion. A debate. Instead of people claiming personal attacks and 'pack mentality' and whatever else when a few people dare to disagree with them.
Clearly, I'm just venting about certain peoples conduct in other threads, which isn't too good, bu it's not flaming or anything else. I just... can't stand when people can't handle being disagreed with. When a few people express thoughts or opinions differing to your own, it's called a disagreement, or a debate. It is NOT 'ripping you apart' or 'ripping you to shreds' THAT would probably entail a whole load of vulgar, unecessary, hurtful insults that, I'm sure, no one here would lower themselves to. So please stop implying you were getting 'ripped to shreds' because I find it pretty insulting, no one was attacking you.
Anyway, I've finished venting.
There haven't been too many arguments. But I think the majority of arguments that took place, should have taken place. They weren't stupid or wrong. They were about things that genuinely concerned people, whether that be a certain board or the what they think of RYL as a whole. They were all valid and brought up good points.
I actually did get personally attacked. and i'm thankful a mod had an eye on the thread and removed it before other people picked up on it. It was all by one particular person but it was still an attack. *shrugs*
Compromise is the key. No one is ever going to be completely happy, so may as well make each other moderately happy and leave it at that.
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
I think debates are healthy things to do. It is ALWAYS good to see both sides of the coin and the see someone else's opinion, even if it is not shared by you.
I have, before, thought one thing and then been swayed by what someone else thinks. This is why I like it so much, a well worded post when i am debating can have me thinking for ages!
If someone turns it into an argument, thats what the report post button is for. It can soon get sorted.
I just don't think that debates and arguments should get confused. I have seen alot of debates, not so much on the argument front.
Debate is a GOOD thing, and I rather resent the implication that issues should not be raised on the basis that some members cannot grasp the difference between a discussion and a fight.
Yes yes yes, couldn't agree more.
Quote:
Originally Posted by user_name
I think debates are healthy things to do. It is ALWAYS good to see both sides of the coin and then see someone else's opinion, even if it is not shared by you.
I have, before, thought one thing and then been swayed by what someone else thinks. This is why I like it so much, a well worded post when i am debating can have me thinking for ages!
mmmhmmmm that's the point of debate.
I totally agree with you two.
Debate should be encouraged because it opens minds and allows for a back and forth of ideas, feelings and opinions.
Unfortunately we cannot account for the odd few that see the need to get personal and make attacks on specific members rather than maturely discuss the issues raised in the post and turn it into a big pointless agrgument *rolls eyes*
Unfortunately though, things can get out of hand; such as another thread where there were two/three people saying the same thing against people who disagreed with them, reaching personal levels and beyond a heated discussion. It doesn't need that many people to say the same thing over and over to disagree. If anything, it takes one person to disagree stating their reasons why and then others to say "I agree with xxxx on this matter because...". Otherwise it can seem very oppressive and intimidating to post something disagreeing with what is been said by the majority. Although, I for one love to go against the crowd. ;)
Yes it does, and maybe it is time for it to stop.
It is also, however, time for people to stop being so sensitive, and no I am not talking about you, just in general, alot of people don't like it when an opinion differs from there own and immediately think that they are being flamed, or picked upon etc.
Yeah I know! I like debating and stuff. And I do it regularly with friends on msn! Maybe someone could find and post rules and regulations of a proper debate and when they're going to start one, link that in or something?
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
Does it need to be a formal debate?
Because then don't you need chairpersons and stuff?
Most debates in News and Debate go off without a hitch, it's just when we get to the more emotive topics about our community that things heat up. I think people just need reminding to take a step back when they feel annoyed and just to be mindful of other's feelings.
