To be honest, I was gutted to be diagnosed. I hate that medically I have things wrong with me. Especially since I can't be cured. You don't 'recover' from what I have, you just have to learn to live with it and adapt. I wish they couldn't tell me what I have, so I could at least kid myself that it is just a phase..
But.. being that I can't change any of that, It was good being able to read up on what I have and identify with the symptoms etc, knowing that I am 'normal' within the limits of what I have. If that makes sense.
We've been diagnosed with everything under the sun, which is common with DID. At the start we wanted to smash their heads in because they didn't know, or wouldn't tell.
When we were told it was validating, and also allowed us to do some research and find coping strategies specific to the problems we were having. We think the DID diagnosis was a positive one. PTSD, that was a validation also, but it's fairly attached to DID.
Anxiety/panic disorder and depression didn't mean much, we've been slapped with those since we were 12, so...
Also depending on which part of us was out at therapy, we would display an array of symptoms, from psychosis, autism, hyperactive behaviours etc.
Very good question - for me, yes and no.
For depression, I think it helps me because it's almost a validation... like I'm not just making it up or being over sensitive/lazy/stupid, but someone recognises that it's actually a problem that I struggle with. And it's also helpful because once the problem is identified, you can better attempt to find a solution (e.g. meds), rather than trying to fix an unknown, if that makes sense.
But then no, only really because of the stigma/public perception of it. And it winds me up, because I don't want to be labelled with something that I don't want to have.
Then with eating, it doesn't really help me knowing. Slightly in the same way, it's a kind of relief that someone has said 'Yes, we recognise that you do have an actual problem'.
But mostly no, because often I feel like I have to conform to the diagnosis, which probably sounds crazy. 'But I think that's just the way the 'ill' part of my head works - I'll end up thinking 'Well I can't possibly eat that, anorexics don't eat' etc. And when I'm in a really bad place, I'll just use it as an excuse to stay ill.
Sorry for completely rambling, my brain is still asleep.
when i didn't know my diagnosis, i didn't like that. partly because it felt like they couldn't be bothered or didn't care, partly because i felt like a time-waster, that they wanted me to feel the way i did. that's something that hasn't gone away even after being diagnosed.
the first diagnosis i got told was EDNOS and i didn't like that either, i felt there should be a difference between a description of symptoms and a 'real' diagnosis. and at first it made things worse because i wanted to prove myself in a way: sort of 'if you say i just want to lose weight then i'll do it bloody well.'
the second diagnosis, depression, didn't help. i thought it would, because then i could learn how to cope with it. but i read about it and just found all these coping skills for problems i didn't have.
the most recent diagnosis was ?psychotic depression. i haven't really acknowledged it yet because to consider that the Voice and everythign else mightn't be real makes the Voice very angry. but i like that it's a 'question mark' diagnosis, because that sort of gives me a choice as to whether to agree. and it was nice in a way to look it up afterwards and to read the symptoms and actually think 'that sounds a bit like me'. on the other hand 'psychotic' isn't just a label that what-others-would-call-the-unwell-part-of-me resists, it's one of those words that no one wants attached to them.
so like everyone else has said, there's pros and cons. overall i think i prefer having a diagnosis.
The first time I was assessed by my psychiatrist I was told I had mild depression, which she was unsure of because she thought I might be just "down" ¬_¬ . I was really uncofortable with that, because she'd only seen me for an hour or so, and had no idea what was going on in my head because I'd denied any suicidal plans which I did actually have and some other things. Over time I became honest with her and after an incident I was admitted to hospital and my diagnosis became moderate depression which I was alright with. Then a couple of months after I was diagnosed with PTSD, which I didn't know was CPTSD until about 6 months ago.
I feel okay with having a diagnosis, because it means I'm not having these thoughts/feelings/flashbacks/whatever for no reason. I think people are a little more patient with me because I have a diagnosis, because I think if I didnt have one people would think I was just attention seeking and feeling like that for no reason (this is only what I think of myself). I probably make no sense but I get it lol.
It's helped me in the sense that they now know what medication to give me, for example; taking anti-depressants alone will make me worse. However, it doesn't change the feelings. In some ways, I feel more hopeless because it's a lifetime label.
At first it made me glad that it was only LLI and not schizophrenia like I thought it was (I was getting to sleep after 2AM every day, was constantly paranoid and suspicious of people not to mention living in a really loud street is like hell for me [although most of you have it alot worse, I shouldn't be complaining here]). I suppose knowing what I have means I know that the symptoms are going to start getting worse.
Last edited by GDR : 25-11-2008 at 03:36 AM.
Reason: speeling error :)
Sorry Low Latent Inhibition, I suppose the easiest explaination is you can't ignore things, but that makes it sound really pathetic . Every single stimulus that is percepted by your senses can't be ignored, your brain has to experience it. If you decide to look it up on the internet look for the teenagers who think they have it, its good for a laugh (one guy says "Yeah, I reckon I have it because when I'm talking to people I can tell when they're lying").
. Every single stimulus that is percepted by your senses can't be ignored, your brain has to experience it. If you decide to look it up on the internet look for the teenagers who think they have it, its good for a laugh (one guy says "Yeah, I reckon I have it because when I'm talking to people I can tell when they're lying").
