In my experience, no foster parent has ever glamourised smoking towards me and that is the most important thing. I was always educated about why smoking was bad etc.
This is a VERY good point.
My mother always made a point of educating the children she fostered about how bad smoking is, and my mother smokes a lot! She gave me the lecture but i chose to smoke off my own back.
And, i also know that few people are fostering now, and it's such a shame.
I think that it is perfectly reasonable and alright to add smoking as a disqualification for potential foster parents. The effects of second-hand smoke have been well documented in numerous scientific studies. There is no right to be a foster parent, so no one's rights are being infringed.
I do think it would be ok to allow smoking outside, however, I worry that if they make that concession it would be hard to make sure it's being enforced, especially with younger kids who can't say "yes, she's been smoking".
Some people I know are group home parents, it's like fostering, but they often have more kids, and it's a more structured environment. The home they work in now is for kids who have been removed from their parents/guardians for whatever reason, but aren't able to be placed in a foster home for whatever reason.
As part of their position they live with the kids 24/7, just like a foster parent would, except they don't have an outside job. They have TONS of restrictions on what they can and can't do. No smoking/drinking etc. They can't have driving violations because they drive the kids around, the vehicles they use have to meet certain requirements, and they have to have adequate insurance and on and on and on.
Well it breaks my heart to see you this way,
The beauty in life, where's it gone?
And somebody told me you were doing okay,
Somehow I guess they were wrong.
I have mixed oppions on this, so i won't bore you with them. basically i agree with points on both sides of the arugment.
one thing i would like to say is, another major moral panic at the moment, along side smokeing, is obesity. so, could banning peopel who smoke fostering children be compared to banning people who are overweight/obese from it?
If you look at it from that sense, then banning people who smoke from fostering is not the right way to go. some of the most kind, careing and brilliant mothers i know smoke. My parents did more damage to me than these parents did to their kids, and mine dont smoke.
My next door neighbours have adopted, and they had to have their house inspected, and were told all these htings they had to do, and pass laods of tests. mum even said to me that if all parents with biological children had ot have that done, her and my dad would never have been allowed to have kids.
I think, what it comes down to is, would the kid involved be better of in a care home, or with a stable loveing foster family who happen to smoke (outside). I think, please correct me if i'm wrong, there is a shortage of foster parents at the moment? so, surely, putting even more contraints on who can foster isn't a good idea.
"I would be almighty in my own world of art, even if I had to paint my pictures with my wet tongue on the dusty floor of my cell." -Picasso
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The difference between smoking and obesity is that an adult smoking is going to hurt the child, while an adult being obese isn't. Yes, the child can learn bad habits from both, but only one of them can cause direct damage. I think that is what people are more concerned about rather than the bad habits being learned.
Well it breaks my heart to see you this way,
The beauty in life, where's it gone?
And somebody told me you were doing okay,
Somehow I guess they were wrong.
But it would affect children in the same way because if a parent is obese through eating badly/bad portion control then theyre probbaly going to feed the kids the same,so children will probably end up obese too.
There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you.
But there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.
I aint no abacus but you can count on me.
Personally I think it's a good idea. However prospective foster parents should be given the choice of giving up smoking and help to do so (wether that be nicotine patches,gum,hypnosis, whatever works for them) before they are discounted as potential foster parents. Because of the situations lots of foster children come from foster parents can't just be Joe Average, they have to be exemplary parents. Smoking causes health risks to the children and also health risks to the foster parents. Can you be the best parent you could be if you cough and wheeze 5 minutes into playing football with a child? What about if a foster parent gets cancer due to smoking whilst they have a child, that child doesn't need any more upheaval in it's life.
Also if a foster parent is unwilling to give up smoking to foster a child, what does that say about their priorities?
Who ever brought up the obesity point - *claps*
VERY good point.
I would be utterly disgusted if someone was to be banned from giving a child a loving enviroment because they were "obese".
But the point is - they could still pass bad habits over!
Might i add - i'm overweight myself - but i definatly think it's a good point to be brought up.
And, i'm tired of the "They're irresponsible and not entitled to be a parent/foster parent if they're unwilling to quit smoking" arguement. Someone's personal choice to smoke does not mean they're irresponsible people. I know some people who have fostered through my mum, who smoke, and they're the most loving people i have ever met in my entire life.
Why shouldn't they induldge themselves?! If they're smoking outside - what's the problem!?
They work bloody hard, they should be entitled to do something they enjoy!
I haven't read other peoples opinions on this, but:
IMO, smoking is a bad thing, but this policy is stupid. When I was young and my parents smoked, they smoked out the back where I couldn't see them or breathe the smoke in. I have never smoked. Their smoking did not affect my childhood.
Surely, all foster parents are checked and their houses and behaviours observed, and if anything unhealthy was found - such as smoking all day in every room of the house, or the 'parents' constantly smoking around the kids - then they wouldn't be allowed to foster anyway? If they smoke responsibly, away from the kids, then what's wrong with that? It's their choice.
Fostering is a big thing to undertake, and the government is trying to encourage fostering and adoption... so why have they introduced this ban, when they don't ban biological parents' smoking?
Maybe I'm missing something...? :-/
Last edited by sweetsunday : 11-11-2008 at 05:20 PM.
It's not your right to smoke. It's not your right to foster.
Both are choices.
And if you're serious enough about wanting to foster a child then you'd give up the fags. In a choice between cigarettes and a child, I'm pretty sure most people will choose a child.
Although, I'm sure children are much more damaging to your health and the environment :P
I just wanted to add in, I think this would be reasonable if it was banned for fostering children with severe asthma/respiratory problems/illness. But as a blanket for all fostering all children it seems rather... meughy. I realise there are potential problems with measuring how severe the asthma etc was in my idea, but meugh. It must have been very convincing at the meeting. But yeah I think Fi has a point, a mini bonfire on the end of your mouth or a child... pick the child. I would hope that as they are doing this they are offering a lot of help to give up smoking programs etc.
I agree with the 'it's not your right to smoke, not your right to foster' thing... but we WANT people to foster. it should be encouraged.
ALSO some people need to smoke... please listen before you shout at me!
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i know someone who is very kind, has a big heart etc but finds it difficult to relax and de-stress without smoking. he tried giving up, but because his brain couldn't relax or de-stress, he OD'd. he is fine now, but CAN'T give up the smoking - even the doctors told him he'd have to keep doing it. rare case, i know, but there are exceptions. but he would be a great foster parent...
and it is very very hard to give up if you're properly addicted.
But it would affect children in the same way because if a parent is obese through eating badly/bad portion control then theyre probbaly going to feed the kids the same,so children will probably end up obese too.
There may be a corollary there, but I doubt there are is any hard statistical proof that overweight people will give their kids too large portion sizes. On the flip side, there is hard proof that second hand smoke causes health problems in people exposed to it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Heidi Tiger
prospective foster parents should be given the choice of giving up smoking and help to do so (wether that be nicotine patches,gum,hypnosis, whatever works for them) before they are discounted as potential foster parents.
Well, the NHS prolly already pays for smoking cessation, so this may be a moot point but I don't think it's the governments job to prepare foster parents to be foster parents. If they are going to do that they might as well just teach the natural parents how to be good parents.
However, I would agree that if somone smokes currently and has foster kids that they be given a set amout of time, say 6 months, to quit after this policy takes affect before the kids are removed. That way people don't have to make changes overnight.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sweetsunday
Surely, all foster parents are checked and their houses and behaviours observed, and if anything unhealthy was found - such as smoking all day in every room of the house, or the 'parents' constantly smoking around the kids - then they wouldn't be allowed to foster anyway?
If there isn't a policy on it they probably can't do much, now there is a policy, so they can do something.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Crumple...
It's not your right to smoke. It's not your right to foster.
Both are choices.
And if you're serious enough about wanting to foster a child then you'd give up the fags. In a choice between cigarettes and a child, I'm pretty sure most people will choose a child.
Although, I'm sure children are much more damaging to your health and the environment
^^^^ QFT!
Well it breaks my heart to see you this way,
The beauty in life, where's it gone?
And somebody told me you were doing okay,
Somehow I guess they were wrong.
Well, the NHS prolly already pays for smoking cessation <--- ALL smokers pay for any treatment they have on the NHS. We pay far more tax than any non smokers.
Just thought i'd point that out.
Are you saying smokers pay directly to the hospital, or that smokers are paying more just because they are paying taxes?
Well it breaks my heart to see you this way,
The beauty in life, where's it gone?
And somebody told me you were doing okay,
Somehow I guess they were wrong.
Tobacco is relatively cheap. The only reason that buying cigarettes is so expensive is because a massive percentage of it is in tax. Our tax go to services such as the NHS. Regular smokers pay a heck of alot more tax than the average joe who doesn't smoke.
We more than pay our way for any treatment we were to recieve through smoking.
You're also paying for treatment for lung problems such as asthma, emphysema and other COPD problems, not to mention high blood pressure, heart diseases, and the complications from that like, kidney failure from chronic high blood pressure.
So anyway, the NHS does pay for it then? Or it's paid for through the NHS if you're going to be picky?
Well it breaks my heart to see you this way,
The beauty in life, where's it gone?
And somebody told me you were doing okay,
Somehow I guess they were wrong.
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