your husband sounds very naive. i do not mean to say mean things about him
but he does not seem understanding at all and it must hurt you so much.
My boyfriend is okay with my SIing and understands it. while he may not like it, he knows the reasons behind it and i have stressed to him it is nothing to
do with him as he is a wonderful person to me. The guy who you have shown the scars to sounds nicer. your husband should not threaten to leave you.
maybe have a discussion in depth about it and tell him to not get angry or "gag" as his reactoin does not help you.
i hope that helps
<3
I was close friends with my boyfriend for years before we became a couple. He always knew I self harmed. Both then and now he tells me he wishes I didn't, and says that the scars are ugly, but he understands that they are a part of me, part of who I am, and he just hopes to be able to help me stop doing it one day.
It's a long distance relationship so sometimes we dont get to see eachother for up to 3 weeks...this has meant that I have cut and not told him, and then just say that they are old scars by the time he has seen, but the majority of the time I tell him, and explain why and we try and talk calmly about it.
X.
"I walked home alone that night. I didn't care how she got home, it was weird. I mean, I *liked* her, I liked her A LOT...but out there on the field, it was just different then. That was the last time I saw her. I mean, most people don't taste that kind of love- at least I tasted it once, right?"
Well... When I was with my boyfriend... He was very supportive about it, but of course... That was also because he SIs as well... And as we are still friends... He still helps me, and I still help him. Just as we did pre-relationship and during the relationship... And until we can both recover from it.. I'm sure we will always be helping each other..
I miss the lips that made me fly
But I guess I can live without you but without you ill be miserable at best
Youre all that I hope to find in every single way and everything I could give Is everything you couldn't take
The following content has been hidden - Reason : Last cut, may trigger
My boyfriend is amazing with my self-harm, and i mean ABSOLUTELY fantastic. I spose he makes me feel like i doing NOTHING wrong because he is soooo good with me. He hugs me when i've done it and kisses my cuts, cleans them if they need cleaning. He never looks shocked because he doesnt want to shock me or upset me. He's my rock and i love him so so much. I wouldn't be here without him. He copes with all the **** i've been through in my life.
i love him.
Sorry that your husband acts the way he does. You need to sit him down and make him understand why you do it. You need to tell him it makes you feel bad that he says that to you and depresses you all the more. My bf couldn't understand at first until i told him all my problems (SA). PM me if you wanna chat more darling.
Last edited by Diamonds. : 01-06-2008 at 10:33 PM.
Reason: Comment to poster left out
thank you, Lily, for saving mummy's life*.
You are my one and only, you can wrap your fingers round my thumb and hold me tight, and you'll be alright.
The last time my bf found out i'd SI'd he kind of got upset and worried but then he got me a plaster and made sure i was cleaned up ok. He's very supportive, but i can see he find it hard to understand WHY people do it.
Sorry to hear your husband isn't being supportive and acting the way he is :s
Life Is Like A Beautiful Melody Only The Lyrics Are Messed Up
My (now ex) girlfriend was very supportive, but she really didn't know what to do or how to help me. She hated seeing me upset, and I drove her away.
She was the thing which kept me away from doing it, when I started to do it, she was shocked and disappointed, but that's understandable, I was disappointed with myself for it.
But she was brilliant, she held me together, she was the main reason that I tried so hard to stop doing it, because I felt that it was hurting her to see me like that.
Now she's gone, don't have that to think about any more, and so nothing holds me back when I think about doing it, she was my restraint.
He'd get so upset, it didn't bother him much when I first told him that'd I cut myself, and although I'd been trying to stop, I'd slipped up and cut my legs. But when he actually saw, he cried. He hated how I thought I was worthless, considering I'm so important to him. When I've been open with him, talked about how hard a time I've been having and self-harmed, he's usually very understanding. But when I've been hiding from him, he'll get angry and be like "Why didn't you tell me! I could have done something!" He's great really.
My parnter is a recovered (i think) self harmer so he understand but i can see it in his eyes that it really hurt him when he sees any cuts so i do stil cover them as best i can
“Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles.”
----
My partner and I both self harm so we are very accepting of each other.
I wish he didn't feel the need to do it and I know sometimes he worries I'll go too far. But its a pretty good situation as we are totally honest with each other, there's none of this hiding scars and getting undressed in the dark which I've done in previous relatioships
