OCD - more than just washing your hands - Page 2

Doesnt_matter · 27-05-2008, 01:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by -Kel-

i often call it (an i know its so much more) when trying to explain why i NEED to carry out the behaviours as a 'mental itch'

I sometimes compare it to a broken record. You know, a broken record "hangs" and repeat a little part of a song again and again and again and that is what OCD makes you do, too: repeating a little action over and over.

At home, I can controll my OCD at the moment quite well (but I still have to check everything more than once).

But whenever I am at internship/ work and should lock a door, it is quite hard for me because 1.) I know that there are secret documents and expensive technical things like PCs and because 2.) I am afraid that some colleagues (?) could see me checking door and moving back and for to repeat it more than once

.
It is a stupid dilemma and not a big problem but it p*sses me off though.

(Yeah, and eating together with the team is much harder dilemma because of my ED because 1.) people find it strange whenever I don't eat anything (while the others do) and 2.) if I eat, I will feel really bad afterwards (but now, I try to eat though there)...but that is another topic).

Perhaps someone could relate to these little problems and dilemmas.

Hugs,
Judith

small light · 27-05-2008, 03:30 PM

Oh Judith, yes! The little things seem to stand out so obviously. I think that' what OCD really comes down to - little things that seem and ARE big things to you. It isn't what you always expect a problem to be.

Quote:

Does anyone else, feel they have become quite good at hiding it from other people? xxxxx

Hmm, to a certain extent yes. Few people know about my counting or the canceling-out rituals, but my mum knows about my paranoia and checking of food. I often have to ask her if it's contaminated or gone off as I cannot tell for myself! If I think it's off, no logic will convince me otherwise. My dad finds it mildly funny, but I know that my mum doesn't want me to get worse. She is very comforting when it gets bad.

butterfly hearts · 28-05-2008, 07:08 AM

mmmmmmmmm

for me OCD is simply just a ****ing pain in the ass! :P lol
I have OCD spectrum, eg, OCD and mostly everything related to it.
Even my professionals have trouble understanding my inability to 'move' sometimes, because everytime i move it's something i have to fix up with another movement. I get 'stuck'! lol
I have been through extreme eposodes of OCD where i would stay up till mid-morning doing rituals, and the anxiety is horrible.
I would like to say that anyone who has a psychiatric disorder can understand, but in all honesty, i think it's SOOOO different to anything else, and unless you've been there, you can never really know (which is mostly a good thing!)

cheers

-Tough-Cookie- · 28-05-2008, 08:15 AM

I agree...people who havnt experienced it make light of it...they just cant understand

butterfly hearts · 28-05-2008, 08:25 AM

I'd be interested to know how many people on RYL have OCD as their primary diagnosis....hmmm
*hugs kel*
I remember when i first got into contact with OCD sufferors over the net. It was an extraudinary (sp?) releife! I felt like i finially found someone who knew the pain i was going though!
do you guys relate?
xoxo

-Tough-Cookie- · 28-05-2008, 08:27 AM

I've had OCD since i can remember...but it wasnt diagnosed till a couple of years ago an before that, before i had a name for it i really did think i was crazy. So i ttoaly understand the releif.
It isnt my primary diag. Anorexia is...however i know the OCD was there along time before my ED an contributed to it.

butterfly hearts · 28-05-2008, 08:33 AM

yes, diagnosis was a great relief for me too!
I thought i was mad also lol. It is funny to think about it now....but i feel sick to the stomach with the idea that there are young people and even kids out there right now who think they're mad as they don't know what's happening to them :(

small light · 29-05-2008, 10:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by butterfly hearts

I'd be interested to know how many people on RYL have OCD as their primary diagnosis....hmmm

It depends who was diagnosing me :/ Different doctors have said different things as I'm comorbid. Always anxiety/obsession/OCD/OCDD have been in a diagnosis though.

29-05-2008, 10:34 PM

About a year into adolescent services ocd became my primary diagnosis, now I'm in adult services I'm comorbid and I'm not sure what my primary diagnosis is. I hear you with the handwashing, I get so frustrated when I tell people I have OCD. It amused me when one girl on the adolescent unit I was on told everyone I must be lying about having ocd because she'd never seen me handwash (even though I'd told her when she asked what my diagnosis was that it wasn't handwashing). I get intrusive images and related anxiety/compulsions, and intrusive thoughts etc. It gets muddled in with psychotic features and disassociation though which makes it all very complicated and ugly.

Has anyone here had exposure therapy? I've had that and cbt up to my eyeballs and I think the last time I had exposure therapy was done in an unethical way and get very angry a lot as I have flashbacks from the therapy (pathetic I know) and when things related to the things we did appear I'll get panic attacks.

butterfly hearts · 30-05-2008, 06:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fallen Rain

I get intrusive images and related anxiety/compulsions, and intrusive thoughts etc. It gets muddled in with psychotic features and disassociation though which makes it all very complicated and ugly.

I also get this problem. I do not have psychosis (as far as i know!), but i get very very dissociated due to anxiety. I also get the stange beliefes like 'people can read my mind' and 'i can save people's lives' and 'if i don't do this people will die' and it's all very confusing....i also see things out of the corner of my eye etc, but it's not true psychosis, just being dissociated and severe anxiety which distorts my perception.

tc

30-05-2008, 10:21 AM

Seriously? I get all of that too. The psychotic features for me are just thing I hear which aren't there, but a lot of the things I see are from extreme anxiety or dissociation. When I'm in a very dissociated state I'll see things, but I think it's from the dissocation not the pychotic features. I also get the beliefs too, which have also been attributed to ocd. *pokes you* want to chat sometime? Sorry it's just I haven't met anyone else with non-psychotic perception thingies.

mmmMinty... · 30-05-2008, 12:00 PM

humm well I have ocd and the handwashing is a fairly recent thing. I repeat things over and over and I have obsessions about numbers, like if I do things a certain number of times then it's safe and stuff...and i can't do anything an odd number of times or i freak out a bit, and I compulsively count stuff. I have this thing on msn which is really irritating where there has to be an even number of smily facies on the page. Its pretty stressful. I organise things in alphabetical order, colour code things and arrange stuff at right angles. I won't eat anything blue or more recently purple. Words and numbers and days of the week and musical notes/scales have their own colours, and so do people. I have to have my keys with me all the time, and i went through a phase of carrying a holepunch around. I spend so much time turning off plug sockets...which i think is down to the obsession that someone will get electrocuted :/
I get a bit paranoid...like i start hearing stuff and seeing things out of the corner of my eye if I'm anxious, and the rituals make me feel safe, its a bit of a safety net when other stuff gets bad as well...like i'll retreat into carrying out these little rituals. Usually I just switch off if I can't find a solution to the problem, and i sort of float as a way of coping with it. I don't know anyone else who does that though :S

butterfly hearts · 30-05-2008, 12:15 PM

I also have trouble with msn.
even number of dots, and Ses on my lol(s) if you get me....
i also always put even dots in number of 4s
It happens when i think too.....like, i put extra words in my sentances when im thinking and put 'mmhmpks' on the end to make it right
lol
now i REALLY sound mad....
HAHA

small light · 30-05-2008, 07:09 PM

Hehe, you're not mad ButteryflyHearts - it's just another of those things thats hard to explain to someone who doesnt understand how important it can be.

I get a lot of intrusive thoughts too, nearly all of them are consequences. "If you don't do this then such-and-such will happen" which I'll then have to cancel out. Recently they've been getting much much worse

moth · 30-05-2008, 07:16 PM

"Personally I suffer from Obsessive Compulsive Dissociative Disorder. This means that along with certain physical and mental processes I HAVE to go through, I often zone out if there is no way to "fix" the problem. It's a way to cope with something my mind can't handle, but gets embarrassing in a social situation!"

I've never heard of OCDD before but what you describe I do all the time.

I have a friend who has OCD, has to have everything symetrical etc. Just wondering if there was anyway I could help her? I don't know anything about this stuff really.

30-05-2008, 08:37 PM

Aye, I've never heard of OCDD, but I have been diagnosed with dissociative diosrder alongside my ocd, the two intertwin a lot, so yeah, you're not alone.

butterfly hearts · 31-05-2008, 10:46 AM

Small_light - that's no good that they've been getting worse! :(
yes i often cancel out.
also, i have trouble writing/talking about what im sceared of or have been thinking about....because i think it will make it happen. Therefore things are hard to share! after i say things i have to think 'please no no i really don't want that to happen, it's the last thing i want to happen, please dont make it happen' LOL.

Alone and Scared · 31-05-2008, 04:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by small light

Hmm, to a certain extent yes. Few people know about my counting or the canceling-out rituals, but my mum knows about my paranoia and checking of food. I often have to ask her if it's contaminated or gone off as I cannot tell for myself! If I think it's off, no logic will convince me otherwise. My dad finds it mildly funny, but I know that my mum doesn't want me to get worse. She is very comforting when it gets bad.

Contamination of food and whether it is off or not.
Everything I eat, I am scared that it has gone off. EVERY meal time, is the same fear, EVERY meal time, I ask the same questions. If I am convinced there is something wrong with it, nothing and I mean NOTHING will change my mind. It's like, if I think it has gone off, the smell and taste are funny, and I'm just convinced it is going to make me sick. (Phobia).
Use by dates, I WILL NEVER EVER eat something past it's use by date. When they say 4 days after opening or whatever, I am very careful that it is the exact time, and not after. Things that say eat on say day, I'm really cautious over, and if they say 24 hours, then it's to the second - not beyond.

My mum and dad find it hard work, and I don't blame them, but they are both very supportive, and will help me through the panic!!

It's kind of, settling to know someone is similar with food.

small light · 31-05-2008, 08:09 PM

*hugs AloneAndScared* have you ever managed to eat something even if you don't trust it? With milk (my usual fear-based-food!) I am usually ok if my mum tests it first, it's like she will always tell me the truth. Obviously there are times when my mind takes over - it WILL taste wrong, even if it's not.

Also I label my food in the fridge lol, saying the time and day it was opened so i dont eat/drink it after that time!

butterfly hearts · 01-06-2008, 04:15 AM

awwwwww
i don't have this problem AS badly....but i do fear gone off milk!
I don't tend to care much unless something is coming up and i don't want to get sick before it - eg travel, or exams. When that's the case, i don't eat ANYTHING that could be dodgy at all....

i like this thread, makes me feel less alone!

xoxo