I wish my "dad" knew how much I hate him. I wish he knew how ignorant I think he is, and how I think he shouldn't be allowed to have kids, especially if he never bothers with them. And how I think despite having a decent job and plenty of money he's much more of a failure than my mum will ever be.
I wish my mum knew how much her apparent lack of concern hurts me. I wish she'd take my "threats" consistently seriously, not just when it suits her.
i wish my mum knew that i do actually want a hug and that i want her to be there for me and care for me.
i wish she knew how much i blame her for how i am now
i wish she knew i hate her.
i wish my dad knew that it hurts inside and out everytime he tries to play by punching me.
i wish they knew i want so badly for them to love me.
'the pain you feel is real,
you're not asleep,
but its a nightmare,
but you cant wake up anytime.'
i wish my parents knew how open i am with them compared to other people
i wish that my dad knew how much it upsets me when he tell me to stop eating
i wish my parents knew how much it hurts me when they insult my friends
i wish they understood that by hassling me to do work i do less and cut more
i wish my mum knew i feel guilty everyday for her being ill xxx
I don't run from you. I walk away slowly and it kills me because you don't care enough to stop me.
I want to be remembered as the girl who always smiles, the one who would brighten your day even if she couldn't brighten her own.
Sometimes people put up walls not to keep others out, but to see who cares enough to tear them down.
i wish they new how hard i find it to talk to them and how much i hate myself for hurting them. i wish they new i still cut and how unhappy i really am. i wish they new that im so confused about who i like.
i wish my mum new that i was feeling suicidle again...and that i love her so much.
i wanted to tell my dad that i cut the inside of my thigh again n that i jst dnt know how to stop anymore
i wish they both new that selfharm is as much a part of my life as they are.
I wish my mother knew that I appreciate how concerned she is about me, but her overly dramatic "I don't want to lose you" tangents don't help me in the least. That they're actually very-counter productive, and they make me want to keep things from her rather than sharing them.
And I wish my father knew how much I hate him, because I'm too much of a nice person, unwilling to hurt others as he has, to ever say that to him.
Gosh...
...i wish they knew every time they fight or shout i SI coz i feel like its all my fault.
...i wish they knew how lonely i feel like an outsider. a stranger in my own home.
...i wish they knew how close to the edge ive been.
...i wish they knew that i cant always control what i do.
...i wish they knew that i can't talk to them about anything ever
...i wish they knew how much i hate home
...i wish they knew i dont want to be part of their famiy
amy x
'Cause I'll always remember you the same.
Oh eyes like wild flowers within demons of change ♥
I wish they would accept me for who i am
I wish they'd realise just how much their hurting me
I wish Dad would realise that no matter how much he hurts me..... no matter what he says....no matter how much he pushes me away... im still his daughter.... and deep down... i still love him
I wish they'd realise that being strong for everyone else is breaking me.
I wish they would pay enough attention, to realise i self harm
I wish they would turn round and say "we love you" not because of what they want me to be, but because of who i am
I wish they would realise just how close ive been to ending it all
I wish one of them would support me, instead of the other way round
I wish Dad would leave me alone and realise how upset he makes me
I wish they'd realise that not everything is my fault
I wish they knew how i cry everytime they fight and argue
I wish Dad wouldnt loose it and take it out on me
I wish they'd both just realise....that however much they hate me.....however much they push me away.... i cant change who i am
i wish my parents knew about my cuts
so they could help me
i wish my parents knew i am bi, so they could accept me
i wish my dad would never think of hitting me again
i wish my mum would try to help me
i wish my parents had the power to help me get over my cravings
i wish my parents could do what they are supposed to do, help my pain ease
i wish my parents would be nicer to me, especially you dad
i wish they knew i attempted suicide
i wish they could just be together again, so that we could start life fresh, and be happy
i wish that they could both help me get better, and not help me get worse
I wish they knew I have these problems
I wish my mum could be happy and not always so stressed
I wish my dad didnt have the weight of the world on his shoulders
I wish my mum knew that calling me fat really doesn't help
I wish they knew how hard I'm fighting
I wish they knew that I am trying to protect them
I wish they knew that I love them and I am so scared to loose them
I wish they knew about the children I lost
I wish they knew my problems growing up weren't just down to an attitude problem
I wish they knew that I dont see them as much as I should because I'm scared of going home.
I wish they just knew me
But I being poor have only my dreams, I have spread my dreams under your feet ; tread softly as you tread on my dreams.
We are all in the gutter but some of us are looking at the stars.
I wish my mom would act like she cares that I have an eating disorder.
I wish my mom believed me when I try to explain my emotions and how I feel about myself to her.
I wish my mom would stop acting like I'm a perfect child and would pay attention when I talk to her.
I wish my mom knew that my younger sister is right about me.
I wish my mom knew the reason I get so bitchy so often is because food makes me sensitive.
I wish my mom knew who I was.
I wish my dad knew how much he hurts me and how much it kills me to look back on when I was three and adored him.
I wish my dad would stop thinking it's an attitude problem.
I wish my dad would notice that I'm always conveniently ill when I'm at his house so as to get out of meals.
I wish my dad knew that it hurts that he never hugs us or tells us he loves us anymore. Not since the divorce.
I wish my mum would tell me how she feels, instead of hiding it all away.
I wish she understood that sometimes, i need to hurt.
I wish my dad understood how painful it is for me to go and see him, because he thinks i should be over the fact that he's moved out right now.
I wish they both knew how much the family memories hurt me, because i can't ever revisit them, and nothing will ever be the same.
I wish they both understood that they need to protect my brother, i don't want him to be like me.
I wish they understood how torn apart I am.
And i wish they understood my lack of willpower, and my want to be drunk all the time.
I wish my dad would come home, and everything would be normal, and even though they'd fight, it would be okay, because they would all be under the same roof and i'd be able to comfort them all at once :( And maybe things would be okay :(
I just wish my parents knew anything about me, I feel like I don't belong in my own house, but with any luck I'll be moving soon
Take me away, I just want out from this self-imprisoned self-made Hell. Don't be surprsed, this is your mind coming to life by self-sacrifice. This tragedy of death will walk hand in hand with every thought of regret. Blame yourself for what you've become. The mind is a powerful thing set to self-destruct.
~I, Dementia - Whitechapel~
