I always look at people's arms. If someone is wearing long sleeved clothes alot, i assume it is to hide cuts/scars. I think it's such a large part of most of our lives that it's always in the back of a alot of our heads.
I think that because we've been there, we have a sixth sense when it comes to SI. Like we know when things are self-inflicted and also know when not to ask. I have asked twice though. Once was with a girl who I'm fairly good friends with and she knows that I have in the past. The other girl was in my show. I didn't know her well but I told her to facebook me if she wanted to talk and then sent her a message explaining that I understand and I'm not just nosy. So now we're friends and she talks to me a lot. I also think that on a subconcious level we do feel more connected to other SIers
I scan people for any signs of SI.
I also scan people for any signs of ED's too though. If someone is thin or wearing baggy clothes.
If someone has wristbands or long sleeved tops, or anything like that I always wonder.
I have noticed someone has scars before, I wanted to stand in front of them, burst into tears and ask them for help - they were very old and faded, so it was probably when she was younger - but then she may not have been a SelfHarmer, it may have been something else.
I would never tell anyone about mine though, I'm not brave enough to do so, so it wouldn't be a case of finding someone who SH's so that I can speak to them about it - it would be more a case of finding someone who SH's, and helping in anyway I could to help them out. I wouldn't tell them what I do though.....
-“And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom.” Anais Nin-
Allie, Mutt, Great Grandma, Hope and Humbug. I love you and miss you all. xx
Yeah it's quite sad. I scan peoples arms, again probably just looking for another person like me, who would understand and wouldn't judge.
I tend to scan peoples arms, but I also tend to notice more if sombody wears long sleeves a lot. Then I start to get suspicious just because I wear long sleeves all of the time to hide my scars and in my head I start wondering if they SI.
But other peoples scars trigger me quite badly, especially if they are really bad, it sounds silly but
1. It makes me sad for them, so then I want to SI
2. I start feeling a bit worthless about my scars + how bad/big they are. SO again I want to SI badly
Told you it was stupid
In the pychiatric unit I'm in there was a woman came in the other day, she had horrific scars all over her.
Part of me felt really sad and sorry for her and part of me hated her and felt so jealous that she could do that, either way I was triggered.
I haven't been able to SI while I've been in here and all my scars are fading and weirdly enough I'm freaking out over it. Stupid.
"In the driest whitest stretch of pains infinate desert, I lost my sanity, and found this rose"
Hmm
I scan people's arms for scars all the time, and I always feel really guilty about it, because 99% of the time people won't have scars, and even if they do, it's not any of my business, really.
The only time I wear short (well 3/4) sleeves is at work, because that's what the uniform is. It makes me feel really uncomfortable and I have felt people staring, but in the hotel where I work it's mostly older people who are there, so I guess they're past the "curiosity" stage. The people who I work with have been fine, one of the chefs asked why I did it once, and I just said I didn't want to talk about it, and it's been fine ever since....I still worry though.
At uni though, I did once get asked, as my sleeve had ridden up, and I just clammed up, it made me feel so awkward, but I guess I SI'd so I have to live with the consequences.
"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Make us all feel wonderful. We'll never forget."
i sometimes wish people would ask about mine, just to prove that someone sees and cares. I guess it's just the damzel in distress in me, i want to be saved. But the only ppl who've ever noticed mine are people who don't care. People who want to expose something bad about me. So i guess it's better for people to say nothing.
"Risking your life and doing something that could rob you of your life are exact opposites."
"You must believe in yourself, follow your path without fear."
"Her eyes are so dark and deep, like you could be sucked in. It's like she knows everything..."
"...we'll transcend time... to live again, perhaps this time... we'll find happiness..."
I was on a school trip that included a day at a waterpark this past weekend. I was incredibly apprehensive about people seeing my scars, because I have huge purple-ish ones near my shoulder.
Amazingly, the only person to say anything to me was a girl who had some scars herself [thin red ones that were obviously from recent superficial cuts on both wrists]... I was really surprised that she didn't know better than to ask, especially in front of a large group of people...
I wouldn't say anything unless I knew them well although I have been tempted..
It doesn't bother me so much now since being in the unit because before then when I did see peoples scars I generally didn't know them and it was a rare and so more shocking and in your face thing but then when I went into the unit virtually everyone had their scars on show and so I got used to it but at first Iwouldn't have mine on show because that wasnt the primary reason why I was there but everyone knew because of the times I was restrained when I was caught sh'ing and for the entire time I was in there only once I showed my scars which was because it was the middle of a heat wave and I was almost passing out so I took my cardi off (oh and weighings but that doesnt count cause only staff saw)
You're entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are.
yeh, i look at other people, not hoping they do it in a bad way like i want people to sh but in a way that i wanna feel more normal.
when i initally met my friend at work i knew automatically that she sh'd aswell but know its not easy to talk about so left it until she felt she wanted to speak to me about it (she did it for 2 years while doing a-levels but has been si free for 3years) when she went for uni they asked her about it and had to go for occupational health assessment and thats when she opened up to me about it.
this pic is so i can always remember jen who was my l'il sock monkey friend who has left ryl and i miss her!!!
There was once a Science teacher in my school who has scars all over her arms, especially her left arm. They were faded, but quite large and, at least to me, noticeable. I found myself hating her for wearing short sleeved shirts because I found her scars upsetting.
I did ask her about them once, but I'd rather not think about that, there's painful emotions attached to that memory.
Generally if I see scars on people and I know they're from self-injury, I will stare, trying to make it subtle but probably failing. I study them and think about what tools did they use, how did they feel at the time, where and, most fascinatingly, why. But I haven't asked anyone, though I'll quite openly talk about mine.
I'm generally unselfconcious about my scars, most of them are small and white (the ones on my arms anyway, but no-one has to see much else lol) although it annoys me that people can still read that it says SORRY on my arm.
"Well yeah, and I'm sad, but at the same time I'm really happy that something could make me feel that sad. It's like, it makes me feel alive, you know? It makes me feel human. And the only way I could feel this sad now is if I felt somethin' really good before. So I have to take the bad with the good, so I guess what I'm feelin' is like a, beautiful sadness. I guess that sounds stupid." "Yeah."
this pic is so i can always remember jen who was my l'il sock monkey friend who has left ryl and i miss her!!! 
