I love and hate them. I hate them because of how and why they're there, and some of the comments and looks I get. But I love them because it shows how far I've come since stopping (and starting and stopping again...). I kinda get obsessive about them though, and other peoples. Like I have a friend who has really bad scars, and she started showing them relatively recently... sometimes I love looking at pictures of her with her arms out. It makes me feel proud of her. But I am concious that I spend alot of time trying to find scars on other people...
Wake me up before I change again
Remind me the story that I won't get insane
Tell me why it's always the same
Explain me the reason why I'm so much in pain.
i love them most of the time. and i agree, i get sooooo jeleous (sp?) when i see scars on other ppl. especially when i dont have many that are still visible. i have them here to remind me of what i have been through. they will never let me down.
at the same time i am embaressed by them.
so love-hate.
Leave out all the Rest:
[Dreamer&Believer and netsirkylime are my bubbly amigos]
[shakespeare's strumpet is my big sis]
<3[absi is my girlfriend]<3
I hate seeing them but in a way they are a part of me. If someone has a problem with them, they have a problem with me. BUT that also means when people freak over them I get really self-conscious.
I love them myself, and I completely understand the jealousy of others scars, especially when I'm trying to recover. I see other people's scars and want another fresh one of my own as horrible as that sounds. If it weren't for my mothers reaction I wouldn't feel any shame about them at all, they're mine and they each tell a story- the drunk ones, the depressed ones, the curious ones.
^^
I know exactly what people mean about Loving there scars
I'm really weirdly obsessed with mine, like....sometimes I absolutly hate them and I just feel absolutly disgusted with myself for ever doing what I've done to myself.
It's just, urgh. Like, other peoples reactions to them, and how disgusting they look, and how I can never go back , they're like a permanant reminder that I'm a weak idiot.
I hate it when anybody in the hospital I'm in (doctors or w/e)
mention them, urgh. They make me feel like a crazy person.
BUT the other half of me LOVES them, like in a really weird obsessive way
I do get jealous of other peoples,
It's like, I want more and more scars and worse ones than I've already got
Which is odd considering I hate the ones I've got.
It's complicated. I would say the best description of my realtionship with my scars is yes, LOVE-HATE, but maybe a better one would be Obsessive.
I used to have this weird thing where I would leave a lesson in college half way through to just look at my scars, just to stare at them and touch them. Sounds crazy. I just need them, it's like, I crave scars
It's like I've never got enough or they're never big enough.
It's almost like an alternative to SI'ing that hurts less? or somthing
Just looking at my scars has stopped me SI'ing in the past.
"In the driest whitest stretch of pains infinate desert, I lost my sanity, and found this rose"
I love my scars, but I hate it when someone has worse scars than me. I cant explain it well. I feel like, they have been able to cut deeper than I have, and so they are braver/stronger/felt more pain than me. It makes me feel weak and stupid. It makes me feel like they had the chance that I never had to go that deep. But the fact is, I've actually gone deeper than them and the only difference between me and them is that they havent had theirs stitched and I have.
Gosh I feel pathetic. I'll probably delete this later.
hate them more than anything i will ever hate - i cant do anything because of them; cant wear clothes because they have to be long sleeved, cant go swimming, cant go on holiday, couldnt go to my formal, cant have a relationship because i can face it they saw them, cant be myself!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Strawberry-Gashes
see, they dont remind me how much ive been through, cos quite frankly, ive been through nothing worth SI-ing over x
thats what i wanted to say, but couldnt verbalise it - but that pinpoints it to the tee!
The following content has been hidden - Reason : triggering
I love my scars. I hate it when scars fade (and that is one the most important reason why I cut...because I want new and worse scars). (But I have many other problems, too, so perhaps this reason is just an excuse, so I don't have to think of the "real" reasons all the time because that would be too hard for me.)
I hate it when they fade because that does not seem to fit to me (or say better to my inside (feelings, problems, mental illnesses).
When I see people with worse scars I am even jealous. O.K., when their arms look well, completely destroyed I am not jealous because that makes me feel sorry for them.
But I hide my scars though, although I love them...they are private and I don't show it to other people. In a way, I am ashamed of them though but I wouldn't call it love/ hate relationship because I love my scars.
By the way, my therapist ask my sometimes "Don't you see that it is not normal to love your scars? That it is not normal." but I can't agree with her.
I can't control my destiny.
I trust my soul. My only goal is just to be. (Rent)
I'm selfish, inpatient and a little insecure.
I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle but if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. (Marilyn Monroe)
I love my scars coz theyre a reminder of what makes me feel better. But i hate them because of the reaction other people have.If it were upto me I'd cut openly all the time and not hide it,but i know people will freak out so i wish they'd heal quicker.
Damn you taboo subjects!
Thought I oughta bare my naked feelings
Thought I oughta tear the curtain down
I held the blade in trembling hands
Prepared to make it but just then the phone rang
I never had the nerve to make the final cut
I love mine.
They're REAL signs of telling someone that I hurt.
Feelings aren't tangible; scars are. They just make sense to me.
They remind me of what I've been through and how strong I am to have been through it.
Yes, people ask sometimes. But that's ok. It's better to educate people than hide the truth.
More than anything, through all my pain and imperfections, they show me my experiences. I'd rather be me than some unintelligible "normal" person.
Sometimes, that's all that matters to me.
When they are new, when they bleed - It's like I need that, because when I have no marks or they are fading.... I feel I need more - I deserve to be hurt and have something to show for that.
When they have healed and they are just a scar type mark - that is when I hate them. I don't want them to be there forever. I don't like it.
-“And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom.” Anais Nin-
Allie, Mutt, Great Grandma, Hope and Humbug. I love you and miss you all. xx
Thanks. A lot of the time i feel lucky, because while no one in my life ever really wants to talk about my sh, i know i have people who will be there for me if i really need them to talk to. but they're there if i NEED them, they dont want to talk about scars, and you know what, scars are a big part of this, a big part of me and a big part of my recovery. so thanks everyone for talking with all of us about your scars and other people's and how that makes you feel
"Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles" ~Charlie Chaplin
it is a love hate relationship bout my scars cos i love them but at times i hate them cos i have to make excuses for not wearin skirts without tights n stuff
yeah i love my scars also...i don't know how to explain why, but in a way i can...they kind of show memories from battles i have both won and lost, i feel more in control knowing that each scar has a separate story and that although its a messy way of dealing with a problem, they'll be there forever...i just find them reassuring i guess, i don't think i hate them much really x
Main question for me "are my scars love or hate me ?" I dont know... Im not love or hate them, but I know its in my body and I know they want new firends ... But I dont want this. Altoug I have more than 100 scars, and my body is full of they... I say that "why you want new firends ? " to my scars... And "you are sing my all pain, all hoppless , all bad things" ... "Please
"Since day after day I have lived in the company of Suicide, it would be unjust and ungrateful on my part to denigrate it"
My scars hate me because I try to suffering, and I think that all scars in my body show my pain. I dont want no more pain, no more scar... But I know my scars doesnt give up since I have been give up... ( I feel its not soo far) I dont hate my scars but I hate hole my life... I dont love my scars, and there is nothing I love ...
"Since day after day I have lived in the company of Suicide, it would be unjust and ungrateful on my part to denigrate it"
