sometimes i think i know that i have stopped for good
because even if i do feel that i want to i jus know that i wont..
if im upset or whatever sometimes i do think that cutting is something i would like to do but deep down i just know that i wont.
if something tragic happened then i might do like, my mum dying or something..hmmm
...i dunno
I would say I'm 99% sure I've stopped for good, reserving that one percent solely for the fact that I don't know what the future will bring and how I would cope with the most horrible of scenarios such as losing my partner and so on. Same for the alcohol. Right now I do feel that they are simply not an option, simple as that! The urges just aren't there.
Good on you!
Me? Nah. I don't think so. But it's different to how it was before.. then, I was more or less dependant on it. Now? I'm not really sure, I'm six months free but I have slipped up quite a few times and I never know when it's going to happen again, but I'm definately not dependant on it.
"When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge - they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find that love actually is all around.”
we need to set up some kind of protective shield (can it be like a purple laser all around us - star-trek style? - btw i am not a trekkie i hate it!) and all sh thoughts/urges/triggers just bounce off it? we could patent it and give some of the proceeds to RYL mand x
Mand, South Wales, Full-time working, single mother to 2 scarily independent girls.
I AM A PROUD PLUMERIA SISTER
I'm just curious because I know, somehow I just know for a fact, that I will never ever go back to self harming. No question about it.
Does anyone else feel like this?
I feel like that...and I know for a fact I've stopped because I've been through some bad days recently and I used to cut for less than what's happened recently...it got bad, really bad and still I did not do it. That's how I know for sure, I can think about it but without doing it.
"...that incremental suicide of turning your life into a dream, to make being awake as similar to sleep as possible. Drowsily, lazily, dry-mouth your way through the day's ceremonies, fumble your way back into the dew-bather you never really left, draped in brown, brown now all around, the haze!" - Russell Brand on drug addiction.
"Si ma êkh gûndo piyiamásko...ándo bírto barruno. Bírto, bírto barruno."
i really want to be done for good but really i'm just waitting for something to go wrong so i have some to blame it on.......i know its not the best thing to be doing but that what i'm doing......and well summer is coming up so that will be hard to hide the cut so good reason to stop for now but really i waiting for something to mess up in my life so then i have a reaon to cut but i will be letting down so many people and really myself but i'm still not sure if i'm done for good i really want to be but my firends don't understand and i don't borther talking to them about it cuz they just don't get me.........but ya going off like this has help thanks
I think i am the complete opposite to that. I havent Si'd in about 6 months and before that it was probably another 6 months. When i was cutting i use to get hapopy for a few weeks and then would just get more depressed than i was before and i still feel as though this is bound to happen, i feel as though im not suppose to just stay happy.
I dont know if I have stopped for good yet, honestly. I mean its been ten months and right now it would take alot for me to resort back to cutting, the guilt and disappointment alone is enough to stop me. Some days, I know I have stopped for good and that I dont need it but others it feels like Im counting down to when I can cut again instead of counting up.
I know i've quit for good because the last time i slipped up it didnt help in the slightest, it made me feel worse than ever. After so many years i realised that hurting yourself is bollocks, it doesnt help you at all, not in the long run. Real life is alot less scary than constantly being on the edge.
It's painful, embarassing and humliating and i deserve better.
I feel like that...and I know for a fact I've stopped because I've been through some bad days recently and I used to cut for less than what's happened recently...it got bad, really bad and still I did not do it. That's how I know for sure, I can think about it but without doing it.
this is the first day of my life
I’m glad I didn’t die before I met you
But now I don’t care I could go anywhere with you
And I’d probably be happy
Pround Pulmeria Sis :: Feel free to PM me anytime ::Always happy to help!
I dont think I will ever e able to be content in the knowledge that it willnever happen again!
This is because....i first self harmed when I was 9...didnt know what it was then or that it had a name. only did it a few times....then again when i was bout 12..still knew nothing bout it...stopped again
next time I was bout 14..again knew nothing bout it but hell did I have bruising!
Then Next time was when I was 15 or 16...still knew nothing (how dim was I!) but then was talking to a mate who had self-harmed and he showed me a scar and it was thenit clicked! I then showed him a scar I have had since i was 9!
I then started slef-harming all the time when I was 17...it started off just once every couple of weeks so I thought nothing of it...then it got to once a week then once a day...it eventually became once every two hours which was really scary! I kept it to myself for as long as possible but it really scared me so told my friends...
After a few years I landed myself in hospital...should have been plenty of times before but this time it was life or death and knew I had to go and that I had to admit it to my mum! That was the kick up the bum i needed and I forced myself to recover because so many of my friends got so scared that they were going to lose me that I could not bear doing that to them!
Ever since then..i have been pushing myself to recover but i dont think i will ever be secure in the knowledge that I will become totally free! But maybe one day....you never know!
I'd like to say so.
But there are still days when I really come close to slipping.
Equally, having been in a place when I was cutting once or twice a day, I know that I never want to go back there.
And I'll fight.
But there are days when it's hard and I almost slip...
For what it's worth it was worth all the while. I hope you had the time of your life...
I can see you're sad, even when you smile, even when you laugh; I can see it in your eyes, deep inside you want to cry
~ ddoouubbllee lleetttteerr tthhrreeaaddeerr
~ honourary emma
~ honourary katY [Kat*Y* with a *Y* Club]
Yeah, I've stopped for good. I'm never going to do it again. Not once did it help, not once did it stop the things I thought it would. The last 3 months haven't been easy, some really bad times but I got through them all without it!
And besides, I told WonderBoy I'd never do it again, I've never lied to him and I don't plan to start now!!!
XX
Missy
"But sail we must and not drift, nor lie at anchor"
hey
i dont think im at the stage where i feel that i will never go back...but i think im almost there.....although i have been through a really bad few weeks and i havent self harmed once..so im feeling stronger definitley..
take care
yasmin xxx
ps. its great that u know u will never go back to it..its such a great step forward well done!
I know I haven't quit for good, and that bothers me. Every time I tell myself that I am going to quit, I wind up relapsing... It's really difficult, and it angers me...
