You may have to take some type of leave/disability until your accommodations can get put in place. I'd follow up with occupational health, explain that you cannot work as is, and ask what you should do while you wait. Alternatively, you might want to see your GP and ask to get written off of work until things can get put in place.
Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.
You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.
Physically it’s not possible for me I have spoke to my boss about it a few times and she was like we do not have the staff for you to be at home for week, we’ve just taken on newbies and two CSA’s are off sick for few weeks or so and you haven’t given us any notice.
But so far things have been really good the last couple of days I haven’t had any big issues and I’ve started relaxation therapies.
Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train moving while sitting still? Maybe I was just crazy. Maybe it was the 60's. Or maybe I was just a girl... interrupted.
I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside. I tried groups, didn't work out just made my depression a lot worse.
To be perfectly honest staffing levels are not your problem, if you need time off work due to ill health you should be able to have time off regardless of who else is off sick. Maybe it is something to discuss with your GP?
I'm glad things have been better the last few days. :)
To be perfectly honest staffing levels are not your problem, if you need time off work due to ill health you should be able to have time off regardless of who else is off sick. Maybe it is something to discuss with your GP?
I'm glad things have been better the last few days. :)
I really. Wish I could but my parents don’t do think I should take a few days off for something that in their opinion doesn’t exist and is probably an excuse to have a few days off. Their opinion is that if it was noticeable I.e a broken leg , cold it’s fixable therefore a real issue. Anything else is considered a lazy persons hide to getting a day off unless physically proved by doctors. So I honestly feel like I am coping with everything alone. I feel like mentally sometimes back at square one as the job hasn’t “cured me from Depresion and anxiety” as they believed and convinced me it would.
Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train moving while sitting still? Maybe I was just crazy. Maybe it was the 60's. Or maybe I was just a girl... interrupted.
I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside. I tried groups, didn't work out just made my depression a lot worse.
Just when I felt relaxed at work and everything has been okay I’m now in situation in my personal life where I literally feel like I’m on call 24/7 with my mate’s cancer been called numerous times as she legged it out of hospital and my brain instantly though she could hurt herself as I know the area really well and there’s a lot of triggering places. Then this evening, my friend David had a mental crisis and I felt like I was only person who could help him, yet I couldn’t do anything as I had no address.
It’s just everything is starting to land on top of me and I’m running out of space on my head to fit all in. But now I have found strategies that help me I’m putting them to into place.
Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train moving while sitting still? Maybe I was just crazy. Maybe it was the 60's. Or maybe I was just a girl... interrupted.
I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside. I tried groups, didn't work out just made my depression a lot worse.
the opening sentence here completely contradicts all your recent posts about struggling with everything. I thought work was a big issue for you at the moment? Or has everything sorted itself out?
Might I also ask, your post doesn't reallh explain what you are looking for here. Are you looking for support? If so what?
I'm sorry to hear that your friends are struggling though. It can be difficult.
Last edited by Iamcatbug : 03-10-2017 at 10:38 AM.
Well things at work have to calm down a lot now work are giving me tools and ways to calm things down a little a bit and I’ve started a new regime of tablets and they are really helping me. I’m slightly able to concentrate bit more and I’m a lot more aware and with it rather have asleep. I’ve also added some music while I work and that really makes a huge difference. I’m also getting more confident on the phone and I’m not so panicky if I get a door called on the intercom etc.
Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train moving while sitting still? Maybe I was just crazy. Maybe it was the 60's. Or maybe I was just a girl... interrupted.
I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside. I tried groups, didn't work out just made my depression a lot worse.
Well today as usual I am really knackered and i am looking forward to sorting out a few OU study bits and bobs but generally today, tomorrow and thursday will be my days of pure peace and quiet. I have even added on my personal calendar on my phone to ensure all appointments, social activities and stressful situations are completely blocked off/cancelled/postponed and until either Monday, Friday, Saturday or Sunday. My iphone still remains off as per usual and is really glimsed at unless i am listening to music or watching youtube. It's become how I cope with my life.
I have started a new plan in the evening and listen to my audiobooks, relaxing music, idoser and add in some warm milk, dark sleep mask and lavender oil. That way it doesn't matter if I miss it and less mentally taxing on my mind. When you already feel mentally taxed due to own mental health conditon, add in job,, ou studying and its pure adrenaline im on. Everything feels like im constantly playing catch up with myself. It can get a bit overhwleming, so I remove piece by piece things that i used to enjoy as I simply do not have the patience, nor the eneegy to care about these things and stick what have i gotta do that day. If i have those days when my energy isn;t great or i ain't feeling good, it doesn't matter i try again in a few days time. I can't remember the last time i enjoyed some tv show or read an enjoyable book. Was that sometime in 2008/9? i can't remember or when breaking bad was on for the first time on netflix? I have no memory of enjoyments feelings whatsoever. It's work, study, eat sleep repeat. Even on sodding christmas eve, christmas day and new year im working at that place i call the workplace from hell. i want to quit!
Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train moving while sitting still? Maybe I was just crazy. Maybe it was the 60's. Or maybe I was just a girl... interrupted.
I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside. I tried groups, didn't work out just made my depression a lot worse.
With all due respect, by removing things you enjoy you are setting yourself up for your mental health to decline even more. Everyone, including you needs to take time to enjoy things. It allows us to recharge and refocus.
I agree with Lindsay. In your last post of your r /v you talk about punishing yourself. You need to have time for things that you enjoy and not deny yourself. There are times where you need to be selfish and make a day where you do things that you enjoy otherwise your mh and your job will suffer.
Wannabe CPN : -)
"He who is tired of Weird Al is tired of life." - Homer Simpson "I hear those voices that will not be drowned" Sanity is a nasty disease. The world would be a happier place without it. - Rilic
RIP Kat 4th July 1987- 11th June 2013
I think i would stick to a few hours here and there throughout the week. I occasionally look at youtube and listen to music on the train on the way to work. I did watch Netflix for two hours last night which was a start, something I haven't done for a long time, even though months ago it used to be something i did frequently. it's just i am so mentally and physiscally tired at the moment that retaining information is really causing me issues.
Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train moving while sitting still? Maybe I was just crazy. Maybe it was the 60's. Or maybe I was just a girl... interrupted.
I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside. I tried groups, didn't work out just made my depression a lot worse.
Then is doing OU studying the wise thing when you say you are tired and can't retain new information? I think that you should consider scaling down your commitments as like you say you're running on pure adrenaline. There's no shame in quitting studying as with the ou as it can be done when things are better. Personally to me it sounds like you are on your way to a nervous breakdown which is what you dont need.
Last edited by not_so_insig : 06-10-2017 at 12:07 AM.
Wannabe CPN : -)
"He who is tired of Weird Al is tired of life." - Homer Simpson "I hear those voices that will not be drowned" Sanity is a nasty disease. The world would be a happier place without it. - Rilic
RIP Kat 4th July 1987- 11th June 2013
I wish I could but I’m left with a bad situation with the OU. If I tell them that I can’t do the modules it will mean that my degree will be delayed you see. I’m already close to final moderate date for my degree and if I were do to in next year my previous modules wouldn’t count as the spec has changed. So that’s. Waste of money, time, stress and it would mean that previous years of the qualification for B18 would go down the bog.
I think accept that I am stick with OU, stick with my job and if I can squeeze ten minutes a day of YouTube/enjoyable activities or see my mates once a month that will be fine.
Struggle on 2017
Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train moving while sitting still? Maybe I was just crazy. Maybe it was the 60's. Or maybe I was just a girl... interrupted.
I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside. I tried groups, didn't work out just made my depression a lot worse.
I'm a bit unsure what you're looking for with your posts?
You seem to be very set in the mindset that you know what is best for you and that the situations you are in only have one fixed solution/path. Which, if that is what is working for you and you are not looking for feedback or advice (which is what we have been offering), that is fine. You know yourself best.
But in that case, I'm wondering what you are hoping for with your posts? Are you just hoping to share your story and vent? Or are you looking for something feedback/reply wise?
Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.
You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.
I don’t know Auror. I just fixed in a world where black and white there is no colour or positivity or enjoyment. If I could recall in my mind the last time I genuinely felt like I enjoyed something I would but it’s been such a long time now and I’m simply too rigid. I am so bogged down with assignments that I have simply forgotten what i feels like to a be human being. I’m surprised I ain’t on those numb inducing pills from the psych. I’m a robot living in a human world.
Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train moving while sitting still? Maybe I was just crazy. Maybe it was the 60's. Or maybe I was just a girl... interrupted.
I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside. I tried groups, didn't work out just made my depression a lot worse.
Thing is. You are not a robot. You repeatedly state you are overwhelmed by Work/uni/friends etc.
It does come across that you are struggling. But also that you are too stubborn to find a solution. A lot of advice has been given to you and you have disagreed/found things to say to go against them.
Also. I don’t know if I am the only one who has noticed this, but you often don’t seem to actually answer the questions put to you, you often go on tangents/give long winded replies. Also, it can be difficult to follow what you are saying because you write it all in one block and often sentences don’t make sense.
I am aware that this could be due to your problems but that is just my opinion/why I often ask you for clarification with posts.
But there’s seems to be no solution to solve it, just have to rethink and I try figure the best way forward for me. I’m going try out talking to my Mac and see if I can dictate all of notes on my laptop like I do when I’m at work. I am also going to reorganise my Mac so it’s less daunting and so when I look at my studies for the day I don’t have constant reminders and I move changed my to do list structure so that I am not looking at other courses, other deadlines etc.
I just have today’s date rather than plan for the week.
Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train moving while sitting still? Maybe I was just crazy. Maybe it was the 60's. Or maybe I was just a girl... interrupted.
I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside. I tried groups, didn't work out just made my depression a lot worse.
