I honestly have no idea. I don't think I was born a queer, but hey ho..my own opinion. I wasn't abused in any way by my dad or brother (my brother would just punch the crap out of me when I was little, we're cool now lol)
When I was in high school I didn't look at any boys or girls and think "zomfggzzz I well fancy you." I was far too interested in buying cds. Not much has changed really.
I probably knew I was gay when I was around 16/17(I'm 21 now). I've been with my girlfriend nearly 2 years, she's the only person I've ever been with and if I'm honest-she's the one I want to get old and grey with. Fight in pension lines with and go to bingo with or whatever.
None of my family know I'm gay, let alone have a girlfriend. I think my mum knows, it's amusing sometimes when she says stuff like, "the only person denying you're gay is you.! It is funny. Bless her.
I don't know if you can tell if you're gay or not when you're like 8 years old or whatever. I was about 12 years old, and it was the first time I heard the word gay, I turned to my mum and asked her what it meant. Her reply was "gay means happy." Then I probably asked her another question and she told me the other meaning of the word, and that was it.
Everyone thinks my nephew is gay, he's only 4 years old. At Halloween he dressed up as a vampire and wore make-up (lipstick etc)- doesn't make him gay! He's very sensitive and a bit of a wuss, but he's only 4 years old. He can't possibly know. He's more interested in playing with his cars than working out his sexuality. It's ridiculous to have those assumptions of a 4 year old.
I used to be quite...I don't know what the word is, anyway, when a married man/woman would leave their partner for someone of their own gender- but as I've got older, I can totally see why things like that happen. Each to their own.
If you don't know at 16, it shouldn't matter. As long as the person is comfortable with it, then that's all that matters really.
I also have a little boy cousin who my sister and I think may be gay. But that is based somewhat on stereotypes. When I was younger he would babysit and play feed, dress, etc...the dolls that unknowing family members and friends would get me which i never played with and i would play with the trucks and cars and army men they bought for him. He is also very sensitive, extremely polite and obervative, he also likes dressing up and talks about the boys in his class sometimes, once he talked about how cute he thought the male character in the show we were watching was.
Hence me thinking that, though there is a difference between homosexuality and gender non-comformaty, there is a relation. There has to be. Maybe the one makes you more likely to be another, and gender non-comformaty can be witnessed at very young ages.
Plenty of people are jerks, among them there are true psychopaths who are born without the biological capacity to feel remorse or care. Of the psychopaths (1 out of every 30 males last time I checked) most of them are raised well enough to fit into society. It's not a cop out to say there are both variants, products of the system and those who are genetically predisposed. Every gay person doesn't have to be born that way, the majority I would think are not. But that doesn't mean they're all products of nurture. There are likely born gays who are hetero because of nurture, religious beliefs, etc. What we're attracted to is controlled by our genes, as is how we think and feel. As I said I think biologically the majority of people are born bi, leaning more to the opposite sex, and reinforced by culture to stay that way. Monkeys have been known to have gay and lesbian orgies for the sake of pleasure. It's in our genes to diversify, try everything. Religions call it perversion or sinful, I think it's just an offshoot of the drive to survive. You could argue that it's stupid to be driven to survive by mating with the same sex, but I don't think our sex drives are advanced enough to know the difference or care.
<o:p> </o:p>
As for virgins being gay, I meant by social standards. This is like the abortion or morality thread, no one has yet officially defined "gay" and it may be impossible to do so. I remember the high school homophobes who were freaked out by doing anything too personal with another guy because they didn't know if it made them gay or not, in the eyes of society. My definition is that you have to be repulsed by all of the opposite sex and attracted to the same sex. If there's anyone of the opposite sex you're attracted to then your bi, if there's no one of the same sex you're attracted to then your straight. Which means I would be straight if not for Bruce Willis, damn him.
My definition is that you have to be repulsed by all of the opposite sex and attracted to the same sex. If there's anyone of the opposite sex you're attracted to then your bi.
I disagree, I identify as a lesbian but I can find a man attractive.
Just because I find him attractive doesn't mean I want his man part in my womanly places.
Just because I find him attractive doesn't mean I want his man part in my womanly places.
*crashes thread*
*giggles immaturely*
*runs away*
Well it breaks my heart to see you this way,
The beauty in life, where's it gone?
And somebody told me you were doing okay,
Somehow I guess they were wrong.
I disagree, I identify as a lesbian but I can find a man attractive.
Just because I find him attractive doesn't mean I want his man part in my womanly places.
I knew I should have specified "attracted." I could see that my great grandfather was 'attractive,' all that means is I'm not blind and can recognize good symmetry. I meant sexual attraction.
I know what you meant.
I can be attracted to a guy without wanting sex with them.
Just as I can be attracted to a girl, without wanting sex with them.
Take when you're in a relationship, for example.
You can be attracted to people, I know I am.
But I wouldn't want sex with them, as I have no desire to have sex with anyone other than my partner.
I can be attracted to men, but I have no desire to have sex with anyone of that gender.
I'm pretty indifferent twords sexual attraction, attraction so on and so forth between the genders. I'm not one for relationships presentley, though.
I don't know for definate what my sexuality is, and tbh hope that in the future it won't matter all that much - the necessity to class yourself as something. But we like our labels don't we.
This is a gift, it comes with a price
Who is the lamb and who is the knife
Midas is king and he holds me so tight
And turns me to gold in the sunlight
And in the spring I shed my skin
And it blows away with the changing wind
The waters turn from blue to red
As towards the sky I offer it
Personally I think it can be both ways from my experience:
case 1. My dad, he fell in love with my mum,married her and had 3 kids, hit about 40 and fell in love with a man, now he is attracted to men, whereas before it was women, he swears to me that he honestly was in love with mum and it wasn't a sham marriage and I believe him.
However some people are born gay, my friend who I've known since I was 3, never played with cars, stole his sisters barbies, even at the end of primary school he was obsessed with my little ponies. Secondary school and he was well into his musical theatre (yes I realise these are all gay stereotypes,but its a true example!) and he's been camp since birth. His mum says she's always known he was gay, and he himself has known for a very long time, he's 21 now.
my friend who I've known since I was 3, never played with cars, stole his sisters barbies, even at the end of primary school he was obsessed with my little ponies
Sounds like me, so let me un-gay all that. Cars are boring, the only thing that moves are the wheels and it's almost impossible to destroy them without a hammer. Myself and most of my friends got our hands on a Barbie or two, boys want to see something naked. I even had a my little pony collection, they were colorful and fuzzy, I thought they were cool. I also had a pink doll house, which I used for G.I. Joe urban siege scenarios but still I had one.
By the time I got to kindergarten I was all over the plastic stove and kitchen, forget the stupid blocks and giant plastic cars. And even today people make fun of me for having a leather miniskirt, it's a utilikilt!!
