I have been pretty adamant these last 5-6 years that I don't want children (as a kid I was pretty neutral and matter of fact that thats what 'other people do' and dream about but that I may not follow that 'norm' trajectory).
Then around end of August two weeks before I started my degree in my old place of work I was starting to feel broody. Seeing children go past and instead of my ears physically hurting from screams actually getting joy from making them laugh and their cute little outfits. Again a lot of that might be tied up in confidence as before that I found it stressful and anxiety inducing talking with kids (in this role, not so much in prevous ones that didn't rely on 'small talk' alone) but suddenly enjoyed it loads. Broodiness- such a strange word to attach me with!! I have worked with children plenty as a Sports Leader, Disability Support Worker, kids club volunteer etc but I had never thought myself capable of having kids. Of knowing the protocols of school and had trouble planning my own life day to day nevermind that of a little one's.
The thought of the enormity of having this human in the world that you are caring for right up until your death bed and the responsibility used to terrify me. Also I didn't want to pass on my flawed thought processes and/or genes onto them.
Now I have a bit more of an understanding of social protocol and have grown in confidence conducting myself out there in the world and can challenge my flawed negative thought processes* (majority of the me at least) then I feel I'd be capable now to raise one. I would not want to until at least 3-4 years into the future when I am financially stable and graduated. I may well feel by then able to and the wanting to that came from the minimal broodiness may have grown by then into really really wanting them.
*mine, not addressing anyone else's negative thoughts as flawed /enddisclaimer
Last edited by Nymphadora Tonks : 25-10-2015 at 08:39 PM.
Reason: Adding Disclaimer to clear potential offensiveness
'What came first, the phoenix or the flame?'
'I think the answer is that a circle has no beginning'
Totally yes! I'm 31 single and feel my ovaries screaming at me everyday. I've been looking into donor insemmination and went to a seminar about it yesterday. Expensive prospect so can't start for about 18months which is killing me. One of my friends(!!!) asked me when I told her about it whether I was still on my medication?! I don't know whether she thought If I was off them then perhaps I was delusional or if I was then I shouldn't be allowed to be a mummy.x
this pic is so i can always remember jen who was my l'il sock monkey friend who has left ryl and i miss her!!!
I really want children and always have. I have a few (minor - hah!) problems with this: I am gay, single, on lithium and not financially stable or independent enough currently to have a child. I am 28 and feel like my time is running out as many old friends have children - or at least a partner!
I really hope one day to be in a place where this is feasible for me.
It's interesting to hear other people's views on this.
There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who, when presented with a glass that is exactly half full, say: 'This glass is half full'. And then there are those who say: 'This glass is half empty'.
The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: 'What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!
I've never wanted kids and i'm in my late 20's now. Its just never appealed to me. I'm yet to have the talk with my parents that they'll never get a grandchild from me (I have a brother and sister so hopefully they'll have a kid sometime and take the pressure off me lol!), but whenever I mention it to other people they always seem SO surprised that I don't want kids, especially as I've been in a relationship for 10+ years
I always wanted children but not at the moment even though i am 28. I have gotten a lot better mentally over the past two years and except for being unable to work, i have a pretty normal and independent life. No one ever though i would be able to get as well as i am this day. So if i can improve so much in such a short time, after being very very ill for many years, i have no doubt i will be able to become well enough to have kids as long as i have a supportive partner and my team as well. I am also off meds and stable for a year and a half so that is no longer an issue for me in regards of pregnancy.
However, the situation with my boyfriend at this moment is quite complicated and i want to have everything planned and sorted before considering it. I would also like to be married before having kids, but thats just me :)
So yes, i definitely want kids but because i am vulnerable in some areas we will have to plan and prepare properly etc. I however have physical issues that may cause problems too and due to my history of anorexia i have been yold its likely i will have problems concieving. I desperately hope that is not the case though.
Den fuldkomne kærlighed,
Kan ikke eksistere blandt ufuldkomne
I would like a kid, but I used to say no simply because I couldn't envision myself trusting a man enough to be around kids I was responsible for (let alone enough to be in a long term relationship with sex!!!).
Fortunately, things have changed enough in my life that having children is now a possibility instead of a pipe dream.
I'm too old now to have any. It's very upsetting and not what I had envisioned happening to me.
It became like a sort of prison. Encased in a silver shell, words so full of bleeding need spilled like drops on dry leaves. And all the while laughter prevailed a long way from here. Nowhere land, nowhere time, nowhere space.
No way.
I have 4 godchildren 3 nieces and 2 cousins and I really enjoy that but I could never parent a child for two reasons really. 1) I don't think I'd manage being responsible for another person, and I am a little selfish, my illness' come before anyone or thing regarding my ocd and ed and 2) The world is a horrible place and the anxiety I get when I think of the bad things that could happen makes me feel sickkkkk.
i'm 20 with a 9 month old daughter. i love her to death, and she's the best thing that has ever happened to me. that said, the world really scares me. i wasn't supposed to be able to get pregnant, and it kind of just happened. the thought of raising her and keeping her safe terrifies me, but i'll do my best for her.
even through all of my fears, i am thrilled to be a mother. i am so happy i get the pleasure of watching a tiny human grow up.
I put no because although I would like to have a child, I am not financially stable, I wouldn't cope mentally, I have a genetic kidney disease that will make my kidneys fail in a few years time (My mum had it and I found it incredibly difficult to deal with) and there is a 50% chance that any children I have will get it, and I am single.
I used to want children and then when I got with my ex that thought fizzled away and the thought of having children made me feel sick, I never got broody and it was because he didn't want children. He would say pretty negative things about us having children so the idea just left because I thought I was going to be with him for the rest of my life.
Luckily I met someone else. Someone who did want children the way I used to, and it made me realise that I did want children again... Which I'm thankful for.
I would love to start my own family in my late 20's, early 30's. :)
Nope, I am far to irresponsible to deal with children nor do I have any desire to. I mostly find children annoying. Usually when I tell my friends and family that I don't want children they give me that look like omg why not and omg your a horrible person. Just because all my friends have children and are married they expect me to and I am over here with my whiskey like nope so much nope go away it might be contagious.
“I like the stars. It's the illusion of permanence, I think. I mean, they're always flaring up and caving in and going out. But from here, I can pretend...I can pretend that things last. I can pretend that lives last longer than moments. Gods come, and gods go. Mortals flicker and flash and fade. Worlds don't last; and stars and galaxies are transient, fleeting things that twinkle like fireflies and vanish into cold and dust. But I can pretend...”
― Neil Gaiman
I would like kids in future, but I'm single and after being hurt quite a lot before I've sort of given up on finding happiness. Which is sad. I'm only 25 so I hope that changes.
this pic is so i can always remember jen who was my l'il sock monkey friend who has left ryl and i miss her!!! 
It became like a sort of prison. Encased in a silver shell, words so full of bleeding need spilled like drops on dry leaves. And all the while laughter prevailed a long way from here. Nowhere land, nowhere time, nowhere space.
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