really sorry to hear that you are subjected to their ignorance Becca. It sounds really frustrating, its so stressful trying to explain it to people. Adult life is not short of stressfull circumstances. I'm 41, used to self harm as a teenager, kept it to a low level untill 3 years ago but its really escalating again, head injury has cut me off from all my other coping mechanisms!
I really hope they start being more helpful for you.
I get really pissed when I hear the theory that it's a teenagers illness or problem and that you should grow out of it. Also what gets my goat is support sites that have an age top of 25 to help and support - usually named 'young people's sites'. It's as if when you hit 26 all should be fine and dandy. I'm 32, started self harming when I was 15 but am still doing it 17 years later.
We need more services that will help, support, offer advice, encouragement etc for adult self harmers specifically because we face a different set of problems as adults than teenagers do so advice offered to a 15 year old child still at school should be different from that offered to an adult in full time work with a mortgage and kids (for example)
Yeah this subject really winds me up
GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE
THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN
AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE
I can't really offer any useful advice, but I just wanted to say that I agree that there needs to be more support for older self harmers. Also some people could use a serious dose of education and empathy.
"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe." - Albert Einstein :)
Oh it's the organisations fault alright. My dad runs a self harm support website along with a woman in her 30's who used to self harm - she occasionally appears on programmes like ''This Morning'. Dad is the lead clinical therapist on this site which is for, you guessed it, young people up to the age of 25! I remember being 25 and sarcastically asking my dad if on my 26th birthday I would magically be better and I've laid into him since then asking him how he sleeps at night knowing all the people out there who need help but are cut off due to people like him. Grrrr.
GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE
THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN
AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE
I`m 48 married to a loving wife of 17 years have kids , work hard and I self harm since a kid 10 years old . Its a addiction . stigma sucks and some people are ignorant and don't know all the facts or only believe what they want to . I learned to ignore it , Yes it hurts and it gets me angry at times . Look at it this way there are many adults out there that know all about it . Your not alone .
A positive additude is the way to go , Hope lives !
Being over an old (and compared to most here, really old) cutter that started as an adult I just can confirm that it isn't a teenage thing - it can hit anybody. There are some support forums for oldies out there on the web, at least discussions on the topic. http://www.psychforums.com/cutting-s...opic47888.html
Becca, I hear your frustration. I would like to empathise. I'm 40 and my self harming started when I was 25.. and I still do it now.
Do you really have to pay to do DBT??
I'm on the waiting list to do DBT in a neighbouring locality that I had to get local authority funding for. I'm going to give it a try, if nothing else to see how else it can change my life for the better if it can't stop me self harming.
I had a friend who did DBT and it changed her life so much for the better, but I understand that it doesn't work for everyone.
It really gets my goat that all the self harm stuff seems to be geared to teenagers.. it's like, hang on, adults self harm too you know. I know we may be in the minority, but it still happens.
My cpn is excellent and she is totally non judgemental. I wish that you had similar support.
Age definitly has nothing to do with it nor does having a job, being married, etc. I started at 13 and am over 40 and still SI. I get DBT not working as my therapist and I tried it. She told me that part of it might work for me but not all. So we are doing other things like art therapy and the book Taming Your Gremlin.
Hopefully you can find something that works for you and someone who will listen. You aren't alone.
You are never to old to have, hold, or hug a stuffie. Mine are a bulldog, elephants, and a baby harp seal.
Age definitly has nothing to do with it nor does having a job, being married, etc. I started at 13 and am over 40 and still SI. I get DBT not working as my therapist and I tried it. She told me that part of it might work for me but not all. So we are doing other things like art therapy and the book Taming Your Gremlin.
Hopefully you can find something that works for you and someone who will listen. You aren't alone.
You are never to old to have, hold, or hug a stuffie. Mine are a bulldog, elephants, and a baby harp seal.
I'm 49 and have been doing it since 15. I've been to a number of therapists, and though some lack understanding about SI, they do try...still looking for one that does understand. Hang in there.
I'm 36 and been SHing since I was 11. It has changed forms a few times and irronically has got worse the older (and more hopeless/desperate) I get. I get really hung up about the idea that I am too old for this, have too good an education and job etc. Noone has ever said it directly to me but I feel like there is a stigma to being older and SHing. It is nice to know I'm not alone. At the same time I actually feel like in alot of ways I am still functioning/feel like a teenager - in social respects. Kind of like I got stuck there emotionally. Not sure if anyone else can relate to that.
