So...

[Buttons.]

Thanks you've all been stars am trying to cope with distraction and will reply properly tomorrow providing internet behaves.

Oh and there are service users in the house but I know they can't cope with my ****.

[Buttons.]

Oh Dash sorry, no I can't, parents have finally had it after having kicked me out like a year ago and recently me having to live there for couple of days drove us all up the wall (to point was untenable) especially because both are ill in different ways.

[Patent Pending]

Hey Katy,

I have very few words right now, but I wanted to leave you *hugs* and say I read and care.

These things take time to work through and overcome. It does not just happen overnight (or even in two days). Can you speak to someone about it? If you made an agreement before entering then they should stick to it? It really would be worth speaking to someone if it's making you this distressed.

x x x

[Bellatrix]

what i did when i had a male worker was ask if i culd spend the first few sessions with him and another woman so I could get to know him without beng on my own with him.

I knew him better then, so when we had our appointments just the two of us i felt more comfortable. i also asked that the first few sessions with both of us if i could leave the door open.

maybe you could ask about things like that? because once you know them some of the anxiety decreases.

[Buttons.]

Thanks you all give good advice. Only problem is it's not same Support Worker and they are on a rota so can't just get used to one of them.

[Isoverity]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Buttons.

Basically I was sexually abused for years and as such have a fear of being alone with males (although obv have nothing against males in general just at this moment can't cope) and my new (as in 2 days new) supported accomodation promised that if male staff were on there would be another (female) staff member on at all times. Well already more than once has that not happened and it will only be one male staff member on tonight and I'm already freaking out. I need to get over this male thing but I just don't know quite how. Any suggestions?

Sorry just majorly stressed about tonight (stress levels up with moving anyway).

Having anger fear etc toward something spreads to the whole group. If a person reacts with fear/anger to a mouse all mice become scary. A bad episode with a policeman can make a person resent all police.

With men you don't have to like or trust them blindly. You just watch/observe the resentment and understand it hurts you and not others. As Nelson Mandela said “Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.”

Of course you want to watch the resentment of yourself as well because that's just a s bad. See resentment is a hypnotic emotions. It sensitizes you to things and makes you compulsively think of them. It also creates guilt and worth issues. People do hateable things but hating them backfires and allows wicked people to do the most harm. They want to be hated.

[Patent Pending]

Hey Katy,

I was just wondering how things were going for you?

I hope you're okay.

x x x