This whole thread sits very uncomfortably with me.
Firstly, as Aimee said, the only person on that list would be you. You alone are the reason for your own suicide.
Secondly, I think it's horrible to bunch together everyone who's ever bullied, lied, screwed over or abandoned someone. I've most likely done all of those things. I'd challenge anyone who said they hadn't. Placing the burden of suicide on the shoulders of someone who just got sick of you ['abandoned you'], someone who lied to get out of going to your art show, someone who excluded you at school is not fair and very much one of the most abusive things you could do.
This whole thread sits very uncomfortably with me.
Firstly, as Aimee said, the only person on that list would be you. You alone are the reason for your own suicide.
Secondly, I think it's horrible to bunch together everyone who's ever bullied, lied, screwed over or abandoned someone. I've most likely done all of those things. I'd challenge anyone who said they hadn't. Placing the burden of suicide on the shoulders of someone who just got sick of you ['abandoned you'], someone who lied to get out of going to your art show, someone who excluded you at school is not fair and very much one of the most abusive things you could do.
Well, I've already apologized for the nature of this thread and I won't apologize again. It is what it is.
While others have pointed out how pointless it would be, I see nothing unfair with someone having to face the consequences of their own actions and realizing how their words or actions could lead to someone's death. Personally I would love for them to have to stand face to face with the grieving family and try to defend their actions. I wonder how the family would handle the list of names if they had it. I know this has questionable morals but there are FAR worse things in this world. Suicides do happen and often there are a lot of people who contributed to how that person felt and their state of mind.
EDIT: Oh and could you please not use the word "you" or "your" or any other 2nd-person voice the makes it seem like you're talking about me. THIS IS NOT ABOUT ME! It is REALLY starting to piss me off that people don't understand the word HYPOTHETICAL!
Last edited by CaptainB2 : 20-05-2012 at 04:31 PM.
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken
Then just ignore it! Nobody is forcing you to read it. I already apologized and squirrelspit said not to apologize so I'm not. It is what it is.
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken
Well, I've already apologized for the nature of this thread and I won't apologize again. It is what it is.
While others have pointed out how pointless it would be, I see nothing unfair with someone having to face the consequences of their own actions and realizing how their words or actions could lead to someone's death.
There are much better ways to do this though than either faking ones death or committing suicide.
My taking on the word revenge and the act would be that the person taking revenge be around to witness it,which if you're dead you can't do.
I do understand your hypothetical question,having been through some awful things and at points wanting revenge but never in the way you're asking about,mine was more along the lines of"i wish they'd die a horrible death,involving torture",i moved on to thinking "i wish i could make them understand how they make me felt",which in some cases you can do,some people genuinely don't realise what they did or said deeply hurt and affected someone-these people are more likely to hear you. The other types are less likely.
It comes to a point where wanting revenge causes more damage to and consumes you.I think the best way to you"show them" is to try overcome what they did,use it to fuel something positive,show them that you survived the stuff,that its made you stronger and that you're a someone,not a something.
I think anyone who would do what you're asking about would be no better than the people who hurt you.
As I've already I think that wanting this kind of revenge is misguided, but... whilst I was growing up my Dad was extremely abusive, constantly. After spending my entire childhood trying to make him understand how much he was hurting me and only being responded to with more severe abuse than what I was going through already, if you have made every possible attempt at making them understand (for example, through empathy, anger, very clear explanations of why something was wrong, trying to see them as people who need help themselves etc.) and getting absolutely nowhere with it, I can understand why someone in my position, or a similar position, might go to such extreme lengths as to wanting to actively hurt them so they understand. I think that is what the OP is getting at.
I assume that a lot of suicides have some element of wanting to 'get someone back' or to 'prove a point', either consciously or unconsciously. I am not saying that such people do not also genuinely want to die as well. But I wouldn't be surprised if anger towards people who have hurt them wouldn't be involved as well.
I did think of that a lot. So I do understand the thought behind it, although blaming somebody for your death is a bit harsh - especially when some people don't realize what they did.
I was wondering, have you ever read Jay Asher's novel Thirteen Reasons Why ? In the book, a girl kills herself and, right before, sends a set of tapes to everyone she thinks is responsible for her death. Maybe reading it could help you in your reflexion.
-- English is not my mother-tongue, so I apologize for any spelling/grammar mistake --
I was wondering, have you ever read Jay Asher's novel Thirteen Reasons Why ? In the book, a girl kills herself and, right before, sends a set of tapes to everyone she thinks is responsible for her death. Maybe reading it could help you in your reflexion.
It's an awesome book!
*wanders back out of thread*
I did think of that a lot. So I do understand the thought behind it, although blaming somebody for your death is a bit harsh - especially when some people don't realize what they did.
I was wondering, have you ever read Jay Asher's novel Thirteen Reasons Why ? In the book, a girl kills herself and, right before, sends a set of tapes to everyone she thinks is responsible for her death. Maybe reading it could help you in your reflexion.
Interesting. That sounds like a must-read for me.
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken
I think the most important part of that book, for me, is that Hannah, the girl in the novel, blames people for tiny things that snowballed, and they could never have known that things would escalate so badly. And then, at the end, Hannah expects someone to save her without ever giving them the chance to help her, or even letting them know something was wrong.
Hannah blamed people, when really, it wasn't their fault at all.
Anyway, how are you doingt today?
It doesn't matter where you come from; it matters where you go.
No-one gets remembered for the things they didn't do.
We won't all be here this time next year,
so while you can take a picture of us.
We're definitely going to hell,
but we'll have all the best stories to tell.
The bullies would'nt give a shit! They would not care, to them your just another piece of scum off this earth. Believe me I know this, my ex best friend told me she would'nt care if i didnt exsist anymore.
The bullies would'nt give a shit! They would not care, to them your just another piece of scum off this earth. Believe me I know this, my ex best friend told me she would'nt care if i didnt exsist anymore.
The bullies probably would give a shit. They're people, too. No, they've not done good things and they hurt a lot of people but, at the end of the day, people are not fundamentally bad and they would care a lot if they knew they had played a part in the reason someone had killed themselves. It's difficult to muster up an agreement to what I've just said, perhaps, because bullies and abusers can leave very lasting scars. I wouldn't like to guess someone else's thoughts though, however much they'd hurt me, as I don't know what's going on for them and their motives at all.
As for the nature of this thread, I have to agree with Aimee. Suicide is a very final act and is always down to the person that completes the act. I know that it can seem like there's no hope and as though there is nothing left to fight for but there is. Killing yourself simply to 'get revenge' (I dislike wording it like this...) is something that I would find hard to cope with. If I was a member of such a person's family or their friend I would feel as though they hated me and somehow, it was my fault because I hadn't reached out to them enough or hadn't been there. Yes, there may be a list of people to 'blame' as such but in my mind, it would always be my fault and I would live with that forever.
Yes, there are times when you can feel so alone suicide seems like the only option. It isn't. It never is, regardless of how much crap you're thrown. There is always another way. Always. It just takes some looking for and working out sometimes and means you have to fight when you feel too weak to move/think/engage. People considering suicide can rationalise things to themselves, I do know that from experience, but it's important to hold onto that hope and sometimes think "if I'm going to kill myself anyway, I may as well try to engage in help - I won't have lost anything".
I have deviated from the topic somewhat but those are my thoughts. Take them or leave them.
I think blaming someone for your death/suicide is extremely guilt-tripping, manipulative, and wrong in general.
I do understand, believe me, that people can make your life a living hell, they can hurt you, upset you, bully you, abuse you, but blaming someone for x/y/z, I find that just as wrong as what they have done/said to you, to put the blame on someones shoulders for, to be frank, your own actions, is not right, and it's not fair at all, no matter what they've done/said to you.
It's not right to blame someone else for your suicide, just, it's not, IMO.
I do get having those dark thoughts though, of just leaving behind a note to someone/people saying "This is because of you, this is because you said x to me, because you did y to me, because you're a z, etc etc", or saying to people they're making you feel like killing yourself, it's actually really common to be angry/upset with people that make you feel awful/worse, I do get that, and I'm sure many of us on here do.
I think the most important part of that book, for me, is that Hannah, the girl in the novel, blames people for tiny things that snowballed, and they could never have known that things would escalate so badly. And then, at the end, Hannah expects someone to save her without ever giving them the chance to help her, or even letting them know something was wrong.
Hannah blamed people, when really, it wasn't their fault at all.
That is a really good point. Like, genuinely an excellent 'message' to get from the book.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Myimmortalgirl
The bullies would'nt give a shit! They would not care, to them your just another piece of scum off this earth. Believe me I know this, my ex best friend told me she would'nt care if i didnt exsist anymore.
what Belle said. I've done some twatty things in my life, more than I'll ever have time to apologise for. And if I ever found out that one of my stupid pranks or childish trolling had contributed to making someone want to end their own life I would be absolutely mortified and never forgive myself.
The thing is, nobody is perfect and people see their actions differently. You may have felt interpreted something as being cruel when actually you were feeling sensitive for some other reason and otherwise you wouldnt have thought twice. What night have appeared to you as a sustained campaign aimed just at you, was actually someone being snappy and rude to everyone as a defense mechanism for their own hurts. And undoubtedly you have hurt plenty of people yourself in your life, with and without meaning to.
So you dont really have the right to sit down and call people on things you didnt like in that way.
And, OP, when i say you, i dont mean YOU, i just mean one. Seing as you dont like it.
He was no longer jean valjean but no. 24601 -les miserable
Some of life's mysteries will never be solved, such as why, after spending an entire evening listenong to Bach, do I find myself humming "the birdie song".......
I am reaching, but i fall, and the stars are black and cold, as i stare into the void of a world that cannot hold- les miserables
