As someone who self-injures in many ways, it makes me angry when people say things like that. But I've never said anything for fear people would find out I self-harm.
people don't know i cut, but i try to hide it. When people tease about it or make assumptions about people who self harm I try to annoy them, or prod them to tell me more-depending on my mood. People call me emo although I don't really dress like it i wear colorful clothes so what ever that means. It normally rubs me the wrong way when people make jokes though.
I don't think I'm out here to teach others or educate others and I seem to find humour in everything. If people are joking about self harm and it's funny, I will join in because hey... just because I do it doesn't mean I can't laugh at it. I don't really feel right saying, "HEY. STOP IT. I CUT."... no. Just no. That would be the most awkward thing I could imagine doing!
I've told people I cut casually during serious conversations. Just two people and we were talking very seriously about self harm. They were talking about friends and relatives and telling me they don't know why people would do that... and I'd say, "Well, I've done it..." and explain my reasons for it. But for me to say that, it has to be compleeeetely the right moment for it.
tu as tant de choses à dire,
mais le tout reste enfermer.
et quand tu ne sais plus quoi dire,
tu te mets à pleurer.
Mais ça ton publique le voit pas,
tu l'incites à rêver, pendant que toi tu le regarde...
Talk is cheap. If this seems gosh just that easy to you, since you found the time to post some random undirected criticism, perhaps you could also find a moment to put your money where your mouth is and suggest some of the ways you have been able to maintain your own self-confidence. Sounds like you might have something useful to offer.
And this is what I mean about taking things as an attack. I've obviously hit some sort of nerve here and you are coming out on the defensive.
If the word "emo" annoys or upsets someone then they need to figure out why. What is it about that word that gets their back up, what is it that upsets them? It's not going to be the word, but the connotations surrounding it. Is it the self-harming, is is some sort of guilty shame that stabs at them every time someone mentions it? Is it that they don't want to be grouped in with "those people" because they are "proper self-harmers" who have "reasons" and aren't doing it so as to be perceived as cool or fit in with a group? Is it something completely different?
Emo is a word. The word itself won't hurt you, but the connotations might. Figure it out for yourself and why they word has such power over you and then maybe, just maybe, it'll stop.
I just think of it as a genre of music. that's what "emo" originally meant. it's not a genre of music I listen to, so I say that I'm not an emo. I have been called one quite a few times, because I do dress in quite a gothic manner. at least once or twice the word emo has been followed by "go cut yourself and die" which, while it can be triggering, just makes me angry that people can think it's actually okay to say that to a person.
I'm not ashamed of SI anymore. I spent a long time being ashamed and it never helped. pretty much all of my closest friends SI too. and I think the fact that I can see past that in them and see what beautiful people they are makes me less ashamed of it.
Subtract out the impact
And the fall is all you get - Ani DiFranco, So What
Why care? It's way too much effort.
If you don't identify with the 'emo' fashion sense then it dosen't really affect you. Even if you do identify with 'emo' then it dosen't really effect you either because people do not say it as a personal attack, just to get a rise out of you. People are dicks like that. They say stuff for effect and to get people all pissed off. Also, why bother trying to educate someone about something that they don't particularly want to learn about? It will just go in one ear and out the other.
When will everyone learn that the world is not wrapped in cotton wool and that even if you try to 'educate' ignorant people about it, it will fall on deaf ears. I say educate in quotation marks because no matter how much you tell ignorant people, they will still go ahead and do the same thing.
It's best to agree to disagree and leave it at that.
Hope that makes sense. I don't 'do' engrish.
The world is just illusion always trying to change me.
You will find wonder wherever you can, and spread joy whenever you are able.
I felt emotions of gentleness and pleasure, that had long appeared dead, divide within me. - Frankenstein.
When people say things like "Emos are so pathetic cutting themselves" or "im such a failure, I'm gonna go emo and cut myself" i like to point out to them that i am 1) a self harmer and 2) most defiantly not emo.
Usually works a treat, mostly because people who know me well and didn't know i cut are so shocked that i actually do.
Does depend on my mood though. I can handle a joke, hell ill even join in if I feel like it. But the way i think is that as a SHer i know where the line is, they probs don't.
I agree with Silent Boy....most of the time I can handle (and make) self-harm jokes....in the right company at least. I think you are brave to admit it to people as well....and no you are not in the slightest bit emo :p
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bellatrix
I call people emo.
And I call my self an emo.
Lol.
Jenna called me emo the other day. :p
For me, the word emo is short for emotional so erm I don't really understand the issue. Stereotypes are things to be laughed at, people believe that stuff! :/
Self-harm jokes and stuff can be great in the right company. For example, people who are really comfortable with each other.
I agree with Silent Boy....most of the time I can handle (and make) self-harm jokes....in the right company at least. I think you are brave to admit it to people as well....and no you are not in the slightest bit emo :p
Self-harm jokes and stuff can be great in the right company. For example, people who are really comfortable with each other.
Its like at the meet. Jenna had known me for all of 20 mins and made a few SH jokes. Did i care? Did i f***!
A bunch of self harmers joking about self harm? Now there's irony! And no lines were crossed.
The problem with making emo jokes and SH jokes is knowing where the line is and knowing when to stop. Most people don't know where the line is, especially when it comes to making the jokes in front of SHers, owing to the fact that if someone does make a joke in front of you, chances are they dont know that you are a SHer and therefore dont know that you may find it a sensitive subject.
I for one couldnt care less.... :P
Quote:
Originally Posted by iateallthepies
Silent Boy
P.S. I have put in a name change request ;)
~ SilentBoy
Some people just need a high-five. To the face. With a chair.
As one might gather, I make ALL the inappropriate jokes. Although I was concerned I might of caused offence when literally the second thing I said to Silent Boy was a self-harm joke.
The way I see it, humour is an excellent way to deal with things, and me and my friends will all make emo jokes, and it is well known that with me, it is never too soon!
Having said that, if people who ostensibly have no understanding of self-harm make lame comments about people who self-harm, I get somewhat pissed.
I have no idea what I'm trying to say here. Hmm. Basically, the only thing that upsets me is when I feel like people are maliciously implying that self-harm is lame/attention-seeking.
Although I was concerned I might of caused offence when literally the second thing I said to Silent Boy was a self-harm joke.
The way I see it, humour is an excellent way to deal with things, and me and my friends will all make emo jokes, and it is well known that with me, it is never too soon!
Having said that, if people who ostensibly have no understanding of self-harm make lame comments about people who self-harm, I get somewhat pissed.
Tis cool, had you actually offended me i would have let you know.
I'm a cutter, so are you, we both know where the line is, and as far as i am concerned, that line wasn't crossed. Your jokes were hilarious. Humour is an excellent way of talking about an otherwise taboo subject
Quote:
Originally Posted by iateallthepies
Yeah I was a little concerned but Silent Boy seemed to enjoy ALL the jokes
I loved ALL the hilarious-ness
~ SilentBoy
Some people just need a high-five. To the face. With a chair.
I hate when people relate emo and self harm, but I can't exactly be really obviously outraged by it then people would question me but if I was really mad I would.
Lotus Flower: grows out of the mud and blossoms into a beautiful flower
He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along-Psalms 40:2
I see myself as someone who can take a joke but when it comes to serious issues like self harm I do think there is a line that shouldn't be crossed. It is okay to joke about it but taking a joke to far is never a good thing.
Some people have said it is just a word and that you shouldn't let it get to you but that is easier said than done.
I mean I usually don't let what people say affect me but I do get annoyed when someone calls me emo just because they learn about my self harm. I don't like stereotypes and think they try to fit everyone into little boxes by calling someone emo, prep, goth, or nerd. If someone wants to joke about something like self harm than they should at the very least have some knowledge of what they are talking about because if not that just makes that person ignorant.
I tend not to find self harm jokes funny but that is just my personal opinion and I have no problem with people making jokes like that as long as they don't take it to far.
Also in my opinion emo is a fashion style/music genre and I have no idea why people even started to assume it had anything to do with self harm.
Oh and someone mentioned disco well I will have you know disco is still completely awesome and I feel sad for all the people who don't realize its awesomeness.
“What if I'm so broken I can never do something as
basic as feed myself? Do you realize how twisted
that is? It amazes me sometimes that humans still
exist. We're just animals, after all. And how can an
animal get so removed from nature that it loses the
instinct to keep itself alive?” ♥
If someone wants to joke about something like self harm than they should at the very least have some knowledge of what they are talking about because if not that just makes that person ignorant.
I don't really understand this. I mean, how would you know if someone making the joke has self-harmed or has knowledge of it?
I don't really understand this. I mean, how would you know if someone making the joke has self-harmed or has knowledge of it?
Hmm I really can not explain things well. Look if someone wants to joke around it is fine but if you are going to joke around you should at the very least be informed on the subject you are talking about. I am not saying they have to have self harmed or anything like that, they should just know what they are talking about. What I can't stand the most is someone who talks about things without having any knowledge on that subject (ignorance is not a good thing).
Well of course you probably wouldn't know if someone making the joke has any knowledge of the subject but for me I can usually tell by the way someone approaches the jokes and if I talk to them about the subject afterward.
Of course this is just my opinion and my personal feelings on the matter and I am sure some people may disagree but to each her own.
“What if I'm so broken I can never do something as
basic as feed myself? Do you realize how twisted
that is? It amazes me sometimes that humans still
exist. We're just animals, after all. And how can an
animal get so removed from nature that it loses the
instinct to keep itself alive?” ♥
Don't mind me... I'm just here.
