*cuddles into* thank you Katie
i really hope your right because the nightmares, flashbacks and voices have got so intense ad vivid i cant cope with them anymore.
Kathy thinks they have intensified because ive got a court case coming up soon, i think she's probably right.
i just want to curl up and die. ive sunk so low i dont see a way out of this anymore. it all hurts to much. im sorry i just cant cope with this anymore.
(im libz)
no need be sorry
*cuddles you close in my arms and rock you gently*
i SO wish things were better for you.
i love you *kisses your head gently*
These kicks take me far away my dear; Far away from myself Far away from my troubles
Far away from heaven
thanks libz *cuddles into your arms so close*
i had another horrendous night and im think im now loosing the fight, i cant take this anymore ive had enough.
the nightmares and flashbacks are draining every bit of strength i have and im now completely exhausted.
i want to give up.
*hugs Jo*
Could you speak to your doctor again Jo? See if there's any crisis help they can offer to you?
I wish there was something I could do to help you <3
x Katie x
*cuddles into*
i guess i could try my doctor again and just see if there's anything
it feels like my body and mind are being taken over by them, the ones who hurt me bad. it feels like theyve won and broken me completely.
the voices, flashbacks and nightmares are constant and so disgusting and vivid.
i dont want to live like this anymore, i cant i just cant.
I think you should try to speak to your doctor honey. Maybe show them some of the posts here - to give them an idea about how desperate you're feeling right now?
You can get through this Jo, I'm sure of it. You're strong and you've come so very far. You deserve some extra support right now, and I think you should try to get yourself it.
ive got an appointment with my doctor today but im scared about it. what if there is nothing more she can do? what if im going to have to keep on like this..... i cant i just know i cant.
i had a bad night again and im really struggling to keep fighting now. i managed to do some more of the attack with Kathy lastnight in the hope that things will get better. they have to get better i cant take no more.
i feel so low and depressed just now i dont no how to get out of this i really dont.
*curls up tight*
*hugs Jo*
Well done for getting the appointment darling.
I know it's scary but it'll be okay. Please, just be completely honest with her and let her know how desperate you are feeling. Let her know you can't keep on like this and that something needs to change.
I'm glad you're still talking to Kathy about it. I really hope it starts helping soon.
x Katie x
yesterday was an awful day i had flashback after flashback which led to 3 severe panic attacks. it just drained the last bit of energy i had left.
i made it to the doctors and told her pretty much everything, she asked me if i thought a short stay on a psych ward would help. i said no no way please dont send me there, so for now im still at home. she referring me to see a psychiatrist to review my medication. that should be through by early next week.
so for now i guess i just have to carry on struggling and fighting, and i hope today is better than yesterday because i cant go through that again.
i had another really bad day yesterday with flashbacks, one was so severe that my carer called the doctor. she has upped one of my medications so hopefully that will help some.
im still feeling so low and depressed and im sinking further the closer this court date comes, im so scared. the nightmares and flashbacks are intensifying so much i just want it over with now, i cant cope anymore.
*curls up tight*
*hugs into katie*
new meds dont seem to be doing anything and my increased dose doesnt either atm.
i havent talked to kathy for 2 days i dont think she wants talk me anymore, maybe it cause i bad like they say i am.
im still really struggling and just want out now, i feel so alone just now and im losing it.
im sorry i just cant do this anymore
*sits rocking back and forth*
You're not bad sweetie. Can you speak to your doctor about the medication again? I'm sorry you haven't spoken to Kathy; I'm sure she does still want to talk to you. Maybe something's come up and she isn't able to answer or talk to you right now.
You are not alone darling; like I said you're always welcome to PM or email me - if you want to talk about the bad stuff or anything in general. I know it's so hard for you right now darling but you can do this. I believe in you <3
