*safe cuddles* I hope you are able to get through today and keep yourself safe. I understand that it is a difficult day for you, so do keep talking to us here and reaching out for support.
I am sure you know by now that I do not advocate the use of alcohol to block things out, as those things are always still there once sober, do try to be careful with the alcohol. It is a depressant, and I am sure you don't need reminding that it won't help anything in the long term.
Thinking of you and sending strength and support your way.
Roiben x
If the Human brain were so simple that we could understand it, we would be so simple that we wouldn't.
thank you to all of you xx
right now i know im isolating myself and cant do anything about it
i feel like my mind has been vacuumed and im left with this gnarled and twisted crap in my head. Im probably going to stop seeing my therapist although it was hit and mss anyway because we want to fund our daughters therapy...tried through college, not heard anything back...tried through IAPT at the doctors and she was too young...we're trying again as shes just had her birthday but its all wait wait wait and i think shes waited long enough. My harming is pretty dire and trying to manage as and when with a and e...im just really tired and really low and all out of fight right now....not alot else to say really. But thank you somuch for the hugs and asking after me...really kind and thoughtful and it means alot...it really does.....much love and hugs back xxxx
Thank you. Im sorry, ive just copied it from my rant...but really its not a rant as its a valid and important question that I dont know the answer to.
I really need to sort my head out
It is slowly killing me
It is preventing me from recovery
I want to walk away from it all
And leave it all behind
and then things would be better..wouldnt they?
I have so much baggage...all telling me i deserve to suffer
I need to deal with that baggage
but last time my therapist tried I just couldnt speak..i was trying, but nothing came out..its stuck in me. And its strange because ive talked about some of it before with another therapist a while ago, but it didnt help me and ive locked it all away again and i need Amanda to help me..I really need her to help me somuch...but how can she if i cant speak about it all...if words wont come out...how do you make words become loud so she can hear? how do you do so many things that i cant do..how do i make myself feel that i deserve to get better? how do i lose the guilt and that shame?? How do you do it? Please tell me
Thank you xx
I don't really know the answer to your question Rowie, but what I DO know is that it is possible. Don't lose hope. I wish there was more I could say, but I don't really know what else to say. Just wanted to leave you some big squishes *squish* I think you're doing really well. Remember when you wouldn't consider going back for therapy? And now here you are, giving it a go. I know it might not seem like it, but you have made so much progress and continue to do so. Love you xxx
Have you ever shown her any of your rants that you *write* on here?
Last edited by Pomegranate : 16-11-2011 at 01:52 AM.
Reason: awful, horrible grammar error thanks to lack of sleep....arrrggghhh! *needed to correct the worst of it*
MY RYL FAMILY: Blondiebear is my sister; nuttergirl is my little sister; makeachoice is my niece; prs100 is my niece; rachel487 is my sister;emovampryss is my wiccan sister; phroggie is my wiccan sister;crazychaoticmess and salutaredelamare are my angels. they always help to save me from myself.
I will print off copies of my rants...I couldnt do it for today as my pc isnt 'seen' by our printer and I didnt want to email them to T to print them off incase he reads them. But I now have to keep a journal about my anger..which i intend to keep on my pc...so we're going to try to sort out the printer/pc issues
I think i will go through all my old rants and print off any angry ones and add them to the journal
