age and self-harm - Page 2

TheGiantPanda · 29-10-2011, 11:46 AM

I'm 30 and have been cutting 10 years. For the most part i've been seeing therapists so they've always known about it, so for me i've never really found that an issue, but, whenever there's news items and things on TV it's nearly always about teenagers which makes me think most people do think it's just a teenage thing that you grow out of, wrong. Sorry if i've gone off a bit.

hermit · 12-11-2011, 04:13 AM

I have been self harming for over 36 years. Sad, but true.

tifflehan · 12-11-2011, 09:56 AM

I think it will always be part of me, until death do us part.

Vertebrae · 09-12-2011, 01:34 AM

I wish I could grow out of it, I wish it was as simple as that. It is something you sort of learn, and sort of crave, and sort of hate. OK really hate, but it feels safe too.. my counsellor always thinks it is leading to suicide. and it really isn't. In some ways it is proof of how badly I want to carry on living, how alive I am. I think you learn it quite young and it stays with you. I tried to stay on topic there...! I cut worse when I was younger, but the cravings are the same as ever.

Nocebo · 22-12-2011, 01:16 AM

Im 28 and have been self harming since I was 14/15 (it shard to remember exactly) I have seen variosu health professionals and they all have weird and varied reactions. Anything from "dont you know you will hurt yourself doing that" to...."its just your way of coping" I am littered with vry obvious scars that cant be missed, but I am happy to accept that i am a self harmer :) I can admit it openly now (this has taken a lot of time!) and I can explain and answer various questions. Iwill never be rid of my scars -but thats ok for me :)

styled_wrong · 29-12-2011, 07:03 PM

i agree it shouldnt be treated any less important just because we are older.

but as nija said its about you! you decide what you want to tell ur counsellor

sometimesmaybe · 31-12-2011, 11:32 PM

I'm 39 now and I definitely feel a level of shame about both SI and ED that I didn't feel 15 or 20 years ago. It's been a real struggle, trying not to feel so isolated because of the age thing. It's a genuine relief to see all the people in this thread. I'd like to find a group to go to, not just see my individual T about some of this stuff- I hope in the New Year I can find actual peer support...

Gofeen · 01-01-2012, 02:22 AM

I was 56 yesterday and I have been self harming for about 6/7 years I think. i haven't had any reactins about my age but people do say I look more like 36 (not showing off-I just haven't grown up) so maybe that's why I don't get an initial reaction and by the time the professionals look at my notes etc and find out they seem to cope with it O.K.

Eleanor Rigby · 03-01-2012, 02:40 PM

I definitely feel there is a lack of support and understanding for adults who self harm, far less for instance than other harmful behaviours such as drinking and substance abuse. It is seen primarily as a teenage thing and therefore something you grow out of. If only life were that simple.

I was out shopping alone in the summer and as it was very hot my arms were bare. A woman I got talking to in a bookshop noticed my arm and started asking if my parents knew, whether I was at school or college and if there was anyone there I could talk to, counsellors, etc. She wouldn't let it go and it was getting rather awkward so in the end I had to tell her - politely - that I was actually 27 and could look after myself, but thanked her for her concern. Her response to this? "Well, at your age you should know better."

There is a lot of ignorance and intolerance in society, sadly.

Hemlock · 14-01-2012, 07:03 AM

I did start when I was a teen, but have never really quit since. I do feel like I should have "outgrown" it by now, though when I consider that critically, I see how stupid it is.

Even when the mental and emotional state that allowed SI to be part of the picture in the first place are addressed and worked through, the mechanism is always going to be there. We can learn to not do it, but can't undo the fact that it is/was there. I hope that doesn't sound negative; I don't mean it to. What I mean to say is that, even if we're adults and dealing with SI, past or present, the fact that we're older than we used to be isn't totally relevant to the SI problem, in spite of the broad cultural perception.

TheGiantPanda · 14-01-2012, 03:55 PM

Eleanor, i can't believe the two sidedness of that woman!! Especially after you were so polite to her. That would have made my blood boil!