Once when I awoke after an overdose, a doctor told me in a caring tone of voice "it's OK, you're OK", when I was expecting him to treat me like an expensive burden on the health care system. I felt quite surprised by his kind words, that I didn't end up overdosing again because I wanted to live up to his view of me.
When somebody silently looked at me after I said something, but as if to say they think I'm an OK person.
Once when I felt and said I'm beyond help, somebody said in a confident tone of voice that she thinks she can help me. I felt surprised at how reassuring her confidence felt. She wasn't going to give up because she thought she could help me, and would even work through it with me all day if that was what it would take for us to find a solution. It didn't end up taking all day.
When somebody I've only met a few times asked how the study ended up going just before an exam and I told her it went good. She replied by saying "so today is one of your happier days". This surprisingly felt reassuring, like she was aware that even if I said it went good, it had been challenging to study due to the fluctuating emotions I experienced. She then entered the exam room straight after the exam ended, asked how it went, and how I was going to get home so that she could let them know I got home safely.
A few weeks ago a friend took my face in her hands and (with tears in her eyes) said: 'You are the bravest, strongest person I know.'
I don't feel brave or strong at all. I'm trying though...
"She had the perpetual sense, as she watched the taxi cabs, of being out, out, far out to sea and alone; she always had the feeling that it was very, very, dangerous to live even one day." (Virginia Woolf, Mrs Dalloway)
The first round of s.i. several years ago, when I was attempting to quit, my "older sister" told me "You and Jesus will make it through." That really touched me and is one of the few statements from that time I remember.
That, and when I gave my youth pastor my blade, his relief and reaction was reassuring.
Every day the world is made a chance to change but i feel the same.
And I wonder why would i wait till i die to come alive?"
All alone the way she feels
Left alone to deal with all the pain-drenched sorrow relief
'So, you're not going to anything silly... are you?'
The youth worker who worked with me for a little while. Not only did this show me that he understood that i hurt, but it prooved to me that somebody cared.
'This Jade, will one day be a scar too. Just like those on your arms & legs...'
My student support officer from school. Three years ago, she asked if i 'hurt' myself, to which i replied 'I used to'. She was the first person to ever realise i self harmed, and the first for me to be partially open with about things. She said this to me this year after i opened up to her, three days after i was raped. It made me realise, she not only beleieved i would one day be better, but also that she knew all along my self harm wasn't just in the past.
These people & these things haven't helped me recover just yet, but they have given me the hope back that i need to start recovering. I am so grateful... <3
And there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears. And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears...
"You're smarter than that."
"Woah it looks like something slashed you up!" ~In front of my whole high school gym class...
"If you're going to do that, at least wear long sleeves."
"Don't you worry about what people will think about you?"
I hate when people make these stupid remarks.
~ I'll Paint You A Picture, I'll Paint It With A Twist, I'll Paint It In Red, With The Canvas On My Wrist.~
^^^Wrong thread. This one is for the helpul things people say.
Also....its not exactly to do with self harm. But when my Mum died my old primary school teacher (who I hadn't seen for 6-7 years) came to the funeral and gave me a card which said:
"Be gentle with yourself...you just need some time to heal"
Along with a poem about hugs that I had written for her when I was about 7 that she kept for all those years, and a picture from her little daughter.
She didn't know about my SH but the words on the card were really apt and stuck with me. Now I try to "be gentle to myself" when I find myself getting angry or frustrated with myself.
My friend (only person at home who knows I SI) in some bring rant on a private message to me when I said I was thinking about starting to wear t-shirts again, even though I have scars said: 'You're an amazing person and once you come to terms with yourself and realise that, then you'll realise that any sh*t other people say is just opinions from closed-minded d**kheads'
Later on in the day I said: 'You do realise this morning you called me an amazing person.
She replied: 'Yes, I'm aware of that. It's only you who's not.'
It just made me smile and is motivation to stop. Along with her as a person helping me. I read over our convo when I feel like SI-ing!
When I told my mom about my self-harming yesterday I said that I felt that I was a bad person and she said that I was a good, caring person who was very sad and self-harming was my way of saying I was very sad.
"I thank whatever gods may be
for my unconquerable soul."
-Invictus
William Ernest Henley
My little brother told me he loved me no matter what but he didn't want me to die.
Also someone very dear to me told me they wasn't ready to lose me and they would keep me safe.
" my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never, never leave you during your times of trials and suffering. When you see only one set of footprints it was then that I carried you" you were carried out of are lifes into the next and when its my time to leave this life I know i will be carried into the next life with you.
I wish i had my world complete again.
'Can we protend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars, i could really use a wish right now' BoB
Stuff I said to my best friend when she told me she had depression, this was only a few weeks back - "I love you, I'll be here for you no matter what, whether you're happy or not, you're still my best friend and nothing can ever change that. You know where I am, even if you just need to hear someones voice at 3am, I'll be there, my phone is always on" - she said that helped a lot
and the stuff that she had said to me, that really helped me
"you can trust me, I won’t say a word. I just want you to feel ok n happy xxx"
"You don’t need to hurt yourself to make youself a better person, you’re a wonderful person n don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise"
"I really hope you’re not upset, :s, beautiful people shouldn’t be sad :)"
if you think you know me in real life, no you don't.
I think the one thing that has always stuck in my mind was,
"Never give up on giving up".
It was said to be by a healthcare professional one afternoon after I had self harmed. I think that whole conversation changed things within my mind but the Nurse pointed out to me how unhappy self harm was making me. The quote has helped a lot though because it has given me hope that it is never the end. If I slip up, I slip up. I suppose the quote just reminds me of an important conversation too.
I guess with the self harm, perhaps it is not so much what people have said but what I have learnt personally. Like how nasty things can get and how it feels then.
I told one of my best guy friends that I was struggling with quitting SI, to which he promptly responded "It doesn't matter."
"Wait, what?"
"What you used to do doesn't matter. So what if you used to cut? It only matters what you do now."
Best response ever. <3
Duct tape is like The Force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
'self harm is an addiction you can't expect to stop overnight. It will always be there but you can handle it, i might still feel like it sometimes but i'm getting there last time i harmed was a year ago. i beleive in you and if you need me even just to tell someone who understands you're struggling you've got my number.' not exact words but the main bit i remember from a conversation with a friend on tuesday. we're not majorly close (she's been at uni last 3 years) but the other day i opened up to her, on tuesday she opened up to me and told me that she was down the doctors at 13 cos of self harm. first time anyone irl has told me about their experiences with self harm direct. she appears such a strong person and talking to her has given me a realistic hope and goal for the future.
Even though this is random and wasn't really about my si, my friend told me about his life, and how hard it is...It really helped me think about what I do have instead of what I don't, and now I think about that when I feel like cutting again.
Whatever it is, you can get through it. I promise.
Again not about self harm, but when I was fairly suicidal as a young teenager I mentioned to my friend that I didn't think I had the guts to actually kill myself.
She replied "I hope you never get guts then"
Kinda just showed me she cared.
And re the above: When my Mum died I actually went 18 months without cutting at all because nothing seemed important enough to cut over. Ultimately I slipped back into occasional SH but I try to remember that if I got through that without cutting then I can get through anything.
