We get statutory maternity pay which is £125 per week. However my bills come to over £1000 each month so it's not enough. I can have time off until our savings run out.
Eeep, not a whole lot, is it? Are there any other benefits you might qualify for?
Wondering if a bed and breakfast type holiday would be cheaper? Not sure, never looked into it. Also, think i would feel odd in someone's 'house'.
Hope you can find somewhere nice (and affordable!).
I remember the family/child tax, quite often came in 'just in time'.
Have you picked out nanes? Do you know if is is a boy or girl? If not, would you want to know?
We didnt want to know, but found out due to a med condition that was picked up and it only affects femailes...
But made it easier for buying things and sucxh I suppose.
How far along a re you?
Sorry, million questions >.<
The people nex t door r doin bd things. I can head them. I dnr like it. My heart is racing xmaube shexis in pain. I can't fell. Want tl block it away. Loud so louc
hiya, with maturnity leave if you are working more then 16 hours a week you shoudl be paid statory maturnity allowance from your job which is 90% of what you normally earn, its only if your on the government one which is only £125 but for the first few weeks it is also 90% of what you earn then it drops. are you entilited to DLA? thats what i will be living off as well as my maturnity allowance (but i only got £70 a week anyway as i only do 12 hours a week) so i will get 90% of what i earn all the way through which isnt tooi bad for me.
i know what you mean about not enjoying the pregnancy and then feeling guilty about it and wanting to because it only lasts 9 months so i can understand. and yer when i get stomach pain and i find it difficult to walk and stuff because of it i think "omg how am i going to cope with labour" and get really worried.
i also understand the feeling of not feeling safe and not wanting to go out. ive been like that for the past few weeks and thinking everyone is out to get me. its horrible and i havent really got any advice as noone can really comfort me or reasure me when im feeling really scared and terrifed.
yer so sorry to rant and ramble, just wanted to let you know your not alone and i hope you are well. pm me if you want to chat or anything its cool your only a few weeks behind me (pregnancy wise) and we are both having boys
Sorry I completely forgot I wrote that. Whole night is hazy.
I get 90% for first 6 weeks then smp after that. For me smp is around 1/3 of my normal pay so it's a big drop. We will manage I'm sure. We just need some money to come in soon that we are owed. Plus I won't be going anywhere really to spend any money.
I think we've decided we can't afford to go away. We literally have no spare cash right now so going away would be irresponsible.
I had a mini breakdown today. Ended up in a room in work in floods of tears. Couldn't control it. There's so much going on and I'm ridiculously stressed by it all. I've noticed babies movement decreases a lot when I'm stressed or distressed which isn't good at all. I've never cried like that at work before to the point where I was just sobbing. It was horrid.
On a positive for thr first time ever i've allowed a friend to stay over as hubby is away. It's thr first time I've accepted the offer. It's odd.
My therapist is writing me a letter to go with my birth plan regarding my ptsd. She is sending it to my doctor as well as my midwife.
I wanted to just have a normal birth and be treat like a normal person but i know it isnt really possible because my reactions aren't normal to things.
I understand how it will be useful but at the same time i'm rather terrified about it. I mean, i dont want to be treat differently, what if i am fine and they think im faking it? What if i'm not fine and i hurt myself or someone else?
So many questions which can't be answered. So so nervous about it already and its 16 weeks away.
I've tried looking it up online but i can't find anything about PTSD and birth really, not personal stories and stuff.
www.aftersilence.org this is a very supportive forum for people who have survived sexual violence either as children or adults. There's a Pregnancy and Parenting board where you may be able to find lots of support and experiences to help you through the rest of your pregnancy and the birth.
i'm going to try talk to my therapist a bit more openly tomorrow about my fears. i'm frightened because i know how warped some of them are but at the same time they will eat me up more if i dont say something.
i feel like a lost little girl today. i think i am very small. i feel a little poorly too which isnt helping matters.
The following content has been hidden - Reason : very triggering
why did they invite him on holiday? why would they be so ****ing stupid. he's ruined my life. i was 6 years old. they deny it even now. its just so ****ed up in every way. his big fat fingers. long finger nails. shrivelled old man. the smell, the taste, the pain, all over my stomach, easy to clean up the evidence then, like a knife inside of me, 6 year olds shouldnt know how to give oral sex, i taught my friend and a cousin, yes i know i'm sick, you might as well all know though, i was a true child whore, haha, they say i shoudl feel compassionate for myself, feel for the child, why feel for her when she deserved it? sitting on his knee, his thighs were hairy, prickly, the backs of my knees itched, i squirmed, i sucked it like a dummy, i still had a dummy, it wa sdifferent, it smelled, he smelled, the pipe smoke, oh god the pipe smoek, i thgouth i was going to split in half, i wish i had, i should hae died, throw me into the water and let it take me, i dotn want to go throug it again.
lie bxkc and think of england. it hurts less if you dotn tense up, if i learn t ntohing else from ebing 6 i learnt thrat, i never said no, it was practially consented, i hope the mice dont get me, i hope i dont get grass staisn ony me, i was beign raped idn my only concern was ****ing mice and rats and soemone hearing us, i didnt want to be embrassed being found like that, being ****ed by some devil amn, anwyay i was sitting ewatching from the hedge. glad it wasnt hAPNIGN to me. it looks liek ti hurts.
I'm convinced my husband is being bullied at work. Of the examples given in the leaflet i'm reading his manager hits almost all of them.
Examples of bullying/harassing behaviour include:
• spreading malicious rumours, or insulting someone by word or
behaviour (particularly on the grounds of age, race, sex, disability,
sexual orientation and religion or belief)
• copying memos that are critical about someone to others who
do not need to know
• ridiculing or demeaning someone – picking on them or setting
them up to fail
• exclusion or victimisation
• unfair treatment
• overbearing supervision or other misuse of power or position
• unwelcome sexual advances – touching, standing too close,
the display of offensive materials, asking for sexual favours, making
decisions on the basis of sexual advances being accepted or rejected
• making threats or comments about job security without foundation
• deliberately undermining a competent worker by overloading and
constant criticism
• preventing individuals progressing by intentionally blocking
promotion or training opportunities
All of the bold things she does to him. Problem is she is my boss too. She's pretty unstable mentally wise and i have a list as long as my arm of things she's done wrong.
I dont know though, my poor hubby is so angry all of the time and it keeps making me cry. He has no evidence though. Its all verbal stuff.
