Yea, i've thought a few people were SH'ers, but it's not as if i could go up to them. And i still hide my scars, wish i didn't have to, but that's life.
On a long enough time line, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
I think we tend to hide it more or use forms of self harm that arent as visible as cutting. As a guy I"m embarassed by my scars, cuz I"m afraid people will see it as a form of weakness. When all I was trying to do was survive, and in my eyes its made me stronger. I think the ratio is more equal than people think.
I admit i've not read all the replies here, but there was a point i wanted to make on this. Part of the reason i believe fewer men self harm than women, is that generally speaking, men partake more in physical methods of releasing stress and frustration. By this i mean that you will often find men go to the gym to release anger (for example), and so, without realising, they're actively avoiding hurting themselves because they already have a physical release for what they're going through.
Whilst for women, this isn't always the case, as women aren't encouraged certainly to be so physical and release anguish in a healthy mannor.
A lot of really good points have been made. When collecting statistics, it's always very hard to make sure it's accurate. There's no way to check if people are telling the truth. (Whereas with political polls, the results of the election can tell you how accurate the prediction polls were, there is no way to "check" the number of SHers.)
Also, I am not quoting any sort of reliable source (just my own understanding/observation) but I believe men are more likely to use other forms of SH (alcohol, specifically, and as someone already pointed out, drugs).
This kind of discussion really makes me realize how f*ed up our society is--the mentality that men are supposed to be x, women are supposed to be y...
look into my eyes
oh so scar(r)ed
tell me it's alright
feel free to pm me--i pretty much suck at giving advice, but i'll always listen!
I agree with Zombie. I think guys are better at hiding it and are more ashamed of it. I know I am. I'm really ashamed to even let my realy old scars show. I'm so afraid of people taking it as a weakness and nothing else.
And I also beleve the numbers are a little more balanced then people say as well.
I also read women are 4 times more likely to attempt suicide. But men are 5 times more likely to suceed.
I read that too; I think it was attributed to the idea that men use more violent methods (e.g. shooting themselves), while women tend to use "less reliable" methods such as overdosing or cutting their wrists (I am not saying any method is more/less reliable or that any of us should try it, it really does depend on the person).
But even there you find stereotypes - people I've talked to have seriously thought that guys have to hang/shoot themselves and girls have to OD/cut their wrists to kill themselves. They just can't seem to comprehend the possibility that any gender can use any method.
For those doubts that swirl all around us
For those lives that tear at the seams
We know… we’re not what we’ve seen
For this dance we’ll move with each other
There ain’t no other step than one foot
Right in front of the other
A few points were raised earlier
1) I used to cut on my wrist/arm but i couldnt hide it that much, so i started cutting on my legs/stomache. That is the reason i cut there, because i am a ashamed of it. I dont so much "disagree" with not hiding it, obviously its personal choice but i dont feel conformfortable with ti really. Obviously walking about in -5 is a short sleeved top with cuts all over can be considered attention.
2) I know loads of people who have tried ir or done it a few times, but i wouldnt consider them "self-harmers" i use that term to describe someone who constantly uses self harm as a coping method - not someone who's tried it a few times, which is what most people have done, who i know. Just because someone has cut once or twice when they were 13 does NOT make them a self-harmer in my opinion.
Also, the fact it is so common, or so many people have tired it makes me feel as though im not "ill enough" or "i cant feel that bad then if everyone does it". so yeah
I would say a general 'I agree' to most of the comments regarding statistics and self-esteem in men vs women, etc. As an additional thought though, perhaps it's just that men might tend to choose other methods of SH, such as alcoholism (which I believe is higher in men), and engaging is dangerous activities/looking for fights etc. All these things are, in my mind, forms of SH, and I think that guys would be more likely to turn to those kind of things than actual self injury.
I'd say again that it may be something to do with the social "acceptability" [if that's a word] of men releasing their anger in more obvious ways than women can, because women are seen less as the [stereotypically] stronger/angrier/whatever species. Possibly leading them to be more prone to self harm?
Keeping in anger/withholding it has been shown to increase the risk of cancers/stomach ulcers etc, and more prone in women in effect to their peronality type, maybe showing that it's more socially acceptable for men to release their anger in more "obvious" ways where women hold back and therefore cause the build up...possibly causing a lead to self harm..
//ramble.
"Be nice. Think happy thoughts. Champion silver linings. Love all things (not just cute things like babies and kittens) & when you do love - love like they do in power ballads (you know like on a cliff with the wind in your hair and your eyes shut, knowing you'll never know love like this). Watch out for dog poo. Smile at people - even grumpy ones. Remember anything is possible & whatever you do always try to look on the bright side."
Women have twice as many hormones as men and are more emotional. Psychically they are "bonders". Children need that emotional bonding in their early years and women are better suited for it then men (latter in life men are meant to have a less emotional love that brings kids to their psychic roots but unfortunately these days fathers become like one of the kids and often wanted to be mommied as well).
Women alse encounter more physical abuses early in life.
Good point, women do probably get abused earlier in life. BUT, then we're back to the "Are the statistics true?" scenario. If i was raped as a child by my father. I wouldn't tell anyone, i wouldn't even mention it on here. I'd guess alot of people would be like that on the male side, more so then females.
On a long enough time line, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
